SelahV Today by hariette petersen

Warning for Nagging Wives OR Husbands Who Feign Deafness: Silence Is Not Always the Best Policy

Whoever said "silence is golden"?  Silence is not golden. It's more like rust slowly eating away at a person's mind and soul.  Conversation, communication, discussion-- those are golden. Silence can, very often, be a roadblock. 

I googled the phrase "silence is golden" and discovered it dated back to a "16th century proverb, now defunct: "Silence is a woman's best garment."

I'm guessing someone during the Renaissance Period was doing their own take on the Biblical Proverbs 25:24 "Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife."

Yes, that's in the Bible, and as chauvenistically prejudicial as it may sound, I agree with it. To live with someone who nag, nag, nags you day in and day out, would cause a Floridian saint to seek retreat on the top of Mount Everest in the middle of Winter. 

However, I do I understand why some otherwise genteel women turn into nagging hags and can't let go of an issue.  When they've asked once and a request goes unanswered-- a woman can get a bit annoyed.  After the second and third request is ignored, or a promise is never kept, she can get downright testy.  After 4 bites at the apple, she may even get bullish or become a fire-breathing dragon-lady.  Yep, I can see how this proverb works both ways.  Some folks see it as cautionary advice to the wife to not be a nagging hag so her husband doesn't want to retreat to the rooftop to get some peace.  Still, others might see it as cautionary warning to a husband to honor his wife by fulfilling a request, or meeting her need BEFORE she gets to the point of nagging.  Either way, someone is going to be one unhappy camper.

Silence may be the "woman's best garment", but if the hubby wants her to wear that garment of silence and live in peace, it behooves him to help make it happen and maybe stop procrastinating. 

But, hey... that's just me talking.  That's just me spouting off.  I know a few women who've simply taken matters into their own hands and did the job themselves (I've moved some pretty heavy furniture in my day), or mangled the job (oh, that time I tried to paint the ceiling), or spent a fortune getting someone else to do the job for them (when I had to retile that kitchen and covered it in sticky goo).  I didn't have to say a word, but in the end, hubby paid for it.

One area where silence is golden is when it is accompanied by, or alludes to, a promise from God. When I'm in a quandary and face a dilemna, and I think I need to keep my mouth shut about a given situation, I rely rather heavily on "Wait upon the Lord", "Trust in the Lord, Lean not to my own understanding", be patient, and let God move the mountains for me.  I can't tell you how many times in my 66 years I've had to let go and let God deal with my heartache, angst, obstacle, or calamity.  In those times, I've come to rest in Psalms 138:8--"The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me".  And when I'm tempted to nag, needle, or perpetuate and defend my position, I rest in Exodus 14:14--- "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

That, my friends, ain't easy.  When you are an opinionated, rather decisive and cut-to-the-chase, getter-done kind of person like myself, it's nearly impossible.  I've got a scarred tongue to prove how many times I've had to bite it.

So while silence in many situations is more than beneficial, in other situations it can be stifling and harmful.  Silence can suppress ideas, eliminate solutions, and destroy relationships.  It can limit possibilities, prolong agonies, and build walls that are impenetrable.  Oh for greater wisdom and distinct discernment.  Oh, for a tongue that works on auto-pilot, one that knows when to cruise and when to let 'er fly.

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Twitter's 140 Character Mindset Won't Fix This Mess in America

But there is a message that can.

Millions upon millions tweet everything from surly snarks to amiable epithets, all in hopes of gaining something in life.  Not sure what folks are truly seeking. Following? Notoriety?  Status? It may be as simple as an audience to support their own thoughts.

It may reach farther into the human psyche than this simple blogger can discern, but...

I think it illustrates the depth of our loneliness-- the desperate abyss of our souls.  Such need there is to connect to life beyond ourselves, don't you think? 

Truly touching are some tweets that parade across the Twitter feeds each day.

The tweet encourages soldiers in foreign countries and lets them know they aren't forgotten by their countrymen. To worn spirits, a well-chosen phrase is like apples of gold for their hearts.  To embattled citizens who seek strength when the world seems against them like the Romeike family, the Seattle bakers, the mother who lost a son in Benghazi and receives no answers.  Tweeters take up the cause.

Twitter's fascinating.  It's an explosion of genius to say something brilliant in 140 characters and have dozens or more people retweet the profundity of our hearts, minds, and yes-- egos. 

Opinions abound.  Check in on anyone's Twitter feed and you'll soon see how to solve the situation with Putin in the Ukraine, fix the American Educational System, defund Obamacare and get rid or Piers Morgan.  You'll meet Patriots and Traitors, Trolls and Moles-- you'll find hatred, camaraderie, enemies and alliances. 

This, my friends, is our world.  Follow me!

Twitter is a snapshot of all that's good and evil in our world.  There are encouragers and discouragers, slayers and naysayers, critics and judges.  There are wits and whiners and powerful designers.  There are framers and founders and wisdom expounders.  And it's absolutely scary to think so much influence can be given in reading the tweet which is not even considered a coherent sentence.

But there it is.

Communication in nano-seconds.  From Bejing to Podunk Hollow, Tennessee. From D.C. to Vegas.  From Wasillah, Alaska to Moscow.  Links upon links, connections and reflections.  Extractions and retractions.  Diversions and perversions. The stream is boundless-- the ripples ever-changing, as the simple confound the wise.

Can we ever rise above such miniscule thinking--away from the sound-bite evaluations? Can we find our way back to a world of contemplation, understanding, and personal introspection?  Or are we beyond grasping the art of comprehension and communication?  Are we ruined?  Spoiled?  Can we not see ourselves?

Sometimes I wonder what a world like this will be ten years down the road.  Will we cease to speak at all?  Will we be one long continuum of letters, numbers dots and symbols?

Will we lump ourselves inside a #hashtag and forever brand ourselves by labels?  It's collected, you know?  Our words and conversations-- if you can call them that-- are stored forevermore in posterity. 

It reminds me of a Scripture verse wherein the Lord warns of judgment day-- a day of accounting.  In that day we will answer for every idle word we've uttered and every mindless thing we've done.  What will my portion be at that moment? 

I have but one thing worth saying at all.  God came to earth one day; He lived among man to show mankind how the Father loved us and how the Father wanted us to love one another.  Then He died on a cross to pay the penalty for all our devious, deceitful, prideful, debaucherous, licentious, perverse, hateful and rebellious schemes against His holiness.  He knew we couldn't live up to His holiness. He knew.  So He gave the sacrifice of His only begotten Son to pay the fine for our sin. Our get-out-of-jail-free card. Jesus died, then rose again to life and conquered the grave.  He did that for you. 

Eternity will be spent with Him or without Him.  Surely we'd rather spend eternity in peace than in everlasting hell, wouldn't we?

Won't you trust in Him today?  Before it's too late to believe?  He promises that all who come to Him in faith believing, He is faithful and just to forgive you of all unrighteousness.  All.  As in every single thing you've ever done against the Holy Creator.  Now that's worth tweeting, any day of the week.

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When Bloggers Like Me Are Cautioned About Gossip

should we take it seriously? Other bloggers have to speak for themselves.  As for me???

In a previous article I wrote (here), a commenter, Mike, cautioned me about how "risky" quoting someone can be and how it can lead to "gossip". Actually, he didn't like much of what I had to say, at all.  He even assigned an ulterior motive to the purpose of my article.  Unfortunately for my commenter, that part of his critique proved totally false.  In his critique, he included a quote, which he attributed to me, but was actually written by someone else, from another website-- Erick Erickson. It can happen. When folks read a lot of sites covering the same subject, folks can get confused as to what they read and who said what.  That aside...

I do think personal criticisms need to be taken seriously. One-- because it's prudent.  Two-- because I may need to repent and apologize (which is expedient to be done as quickly as possible--like Mike did when I pointed out his error).  Three-- because I may learn something.  In this case, with Mike, I found his caution unfounded.  Rather than let his critique simmer on the back-end of my article, I'm using it for an example to consider as a guide in discerning the value of a critic's criticism and the validity of what I say.

Firstly, we disagreed on premise. "Gossip", to me, is passing on private information about someone with malicious intent. I had no malicious intent, nor do I think Kirsten had any. One author says this about gossip:

"The Hebrew word translated 'gossip' in the Old Testament is defined as 'one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger.' A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it." [To read more on gossip, go here/link]

So, did I really gossip about Andy Stanley? did Kirsten Powers? I don't think so, the information I had was not privileged, nor private. It was public knowledge.  Also, Kirsten Powers is a well-respected journalist and popular news analyst. It's  presumptuous to consider she'd attribute a private personal quote to someone that is not hers to reveal or was not freely given--she's a credible writer.  Journalists protect sources--they don't expose them.  She went to Andy in an interview situation to acquire his opinion.  He gave it.  She quoted it to reinforce her position on what she deems homosexual discrimination, albeit others, including I, see as a religious discrimination issue. So, given how many people have written about Andy Stanley's quote to Kirsten, I felt quite safe in re-quoting it after I found it at the source of her own article/here.

Given the ripple of public scrutiny and troubling confusion created, a retraction would be in order if it weren't true. To my knowledge, Andy hasn't requested one, nor has he walked back the statement.

Anyone can say something they wish they hadn't (Mike regrets his mistake with me). I'm a bit snarky at times (I'm working on it).  I don't think I erred when I lamented my mental and soulful weariness regarding Christians who try to live as Jesus would want in all areas of life (as in the case of the Seattle bakers), only to have their concerns tossed aside as irrelevant by a brother-in-Christ with prominent status.

Since the issue went beyond that of the bakers in Seattle to the bill in Kansas, which inadvertently coincided with the Arizona law, we must recognize this as a much larger issue in our country.  Even Eric Metaxas, a minister instrumental in Kirsten's recent conversion to Christianity, disagrees with Kirsten and Andy; he said so on his facebook page when Erick Erickson's rebutted Kirsten's views:

"I'm afraid that in this my dear friend Kirsten Powers and pastor Andy Stanley are mistaken. I believe their hearts are absolutely in the right place, which is perhaps the most important thing, but in their ultimately standing aside so that the Religious Freedom of Kansans and other Americans can be disregarded, they are missing something very important, something crucial, and with great ramifications for all. Let our conversations on this subject be civil and respectful, but let's have them."

So, folks, I make no apologies for writing about a subject I find most "crucial" as Metaxas affirms.  As a blogger and a sister-in-Christ, I saw a need to support fellow Christians and defend their position. 

As Christian bloggers grapple with issues of the day, we must engage with caution, in a spirit of grace, but we must not sit silently on the sidelines while religious liberty is crushed beneath the feet of rulers who usurp the constitution and the conscience of man, either.  

So I wrote about the quandry of it all. It was not gossip.  It's a matter of exhortation, similar to what my commenter tried to do with me in his critique and caution.  We learn, we share with one another...then Christians must pray.  We offer apologies, ask forgiveness wherein we err, and move on.  Most importantly, we must look at Scripture and stand on it, and it alone, to make decisions when we speak, think, or write.  For me it's all about Jesus and I won't leave Him out of my conversations. Without Him, I am nothing. ~hariette petersen @SelahVToday

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Where Everyone Knows Your Name

Can you imagine the Girl Scouts of America changing their name to the Greater Sales-gals of America?  The Girl scout mission is to build "girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place."  A huge part of their organization is supported by the sale of the famous Girl Scout Cookies.  The cookie sales are not necessarily their mission, per se.  However, the cookies are so reknown that they identify with their organization. Folks love the cookies, and by purchasing them, they help support Girl Scouts fulfill their mission.

If you are a Girl Scout, and love to sell cookies to promote your organization, why wouldn't you want the world to know you are selling Girl Scout cookies?

If you are cooperating with other girls to sell those cookies to accomplish the same end (namely, to build your Girl Scout organization and to help young ladies develop a positive image of themselves), why would you set up a table on the opposite side of Wal-Mart's entrance and call yourself a generic name which no one knows and claim to sell Greater, Creamier and Better Cookies when they are the exact same cookie as Girl Scouts are selling on the other side of the open doors?  Well, the answer is simple...to me, anyway.  You wouldn't.

Unless.

Unless you were ashamed of Girl Scouts.  Or you are opposed to what they stand for.  Or you don't like the origin of their existence.  Or you don't really want to be a part of an organization which sells cookies each year and think Girl Scouts should grow organic carrots and sell them because they are healthier than cookies.  Or you think more cookies will be sold when promoted as Greater, Creamier, and Better. Or you think selling cookies takes away from your main mission--to build courage and confidence in girls, and instill in them a desire to help their communities.  Or you simply want to sell different cookies.

It makes me wonder, though.  When your family has a name, why would you want to change it and reposition yourself against your family?  It makes so little sense to me.  Kinda makes me feel like you don't want to be a part of me, or don't want me to be a part of you.  But again...that's just me.  selahV

Do Actions Speak Louder than Words

The question was posed to me.  I couldn't help but have an opinion, of course.  I thought about the old adage: a picture is worth a thousand words.  What we "see" tells us more than what we say in that case.  So it would stand to reason that ones actions would speak powerfully about the way a person thinks and feels.  So very often words mislead or confound.  Other times words clarify and amplify.

So do actions speak louder than words?

I think that depends on ones personality.  My husband is a servant.  He constantly shows me his love with acts of service towards me.  He's just not a wordy, verbal person.  He rarely says he loves me.  Yet, when he does, it means the absolute world to me.  I use to thirst for those words from him.  I had to learn early in my marriage that he spoke love in what he did for me--love is demonstrative.  It confused me for years and created a chasm I found near impossible to bridge.  But bridge it, we did.

I think when folks love one another they have a combination of both words and actions.  When the air is clouded with mixed messages, then it's time to clear the air with words... or with actions...whichever speaks clearer at the time for the individuals involved and the circumstances they encounter.  I think that's why God gave us the senses we have.  We can use some, or all, of them to express and receive messages.

What about you?  What speaks louder to you?  Words or actions? 

Walking By The Spirit

I don't know about you, but sometimes I stumble when I walk.  It's like I forget to watch where I am going and before I know it, something pops up in my pathway--a root, a loose stone--and I'm caught off balance.  I don't always fall, but sometimes I turn my ankle, or twist a knee.  The worst is when I try too hard to catch myself from falling, and pull a muscle in my back. 

Rarely do I fall anymore (I shouldn't type that too boldly, I suppose.)  However...

today I must confess, I stumbled.  I got distracted.  My attention rested on what I considered a higher road.  Instead of tripping over an actual stone, on a physical pathway, I tripped over a root along my spiritual walkway.  Just like an actual root, I allowed a past experience to knock me off balance and send my mind and heart sprawling for a supporting hand.  It took me awhile to realize the annoyance I felt was not the root's fault, but mine, for not keeping my eyes on the Spirit of God within me.  A foolish blunder.  I took my eyes off Jesus just long enough to fall prey to my own self-sufficiency and pride.  Insecurity, perhaps.  More than likely, a reaction to a long forgotten playground bully...a judgmental acquaintance...the step-mother and her constant critical spirit so easily discerned in others in my Christian walk. 

Ah...the walk.  That spiritual walk in which we often let the flesh impede the progress our spirit is making along our journey with the Lord.  Sometimes I backtrack to analyze where and when I blinked and took a misstep.  To return to my original pace, I simply have to close my eyes and pray for better understanding, a more merciful heart, and yes...a higher form of vigilance.  It's then the LORD enlightens the path before me-- exposing the root I ignored so often while walking a familiar trail.  The unexpected.  The surprise.  The forgotten.  The flesh.

Once I see the error of careless self-absorbtion, and my unnecessary tendency to  set a record straight, to take a stand I do not need to take, I find my faithful, merciful Father standing... His right hand extended with palm-filled grace.  And my walk begins afresh.  selahV

ARROGANCE Is A Two-way Street

Recently I read an ironic argument between several bloggers on arrogance. Accusations of arrogance abounded on every side of the issue. Each had his or her own opinion of what defined arrogance and what did not--who was arrogant and who wasn't. Each opined their opinion as more relevant and entitled to the correct understanding of arrogance than the other. The more I read, the greater offense was taken by various individuals in the conversation. It seemed silly.  I saw no humility. I was tempted to join the conversation and say so. Thankfully, the LORD checked my spirit.

Folks are offended when they perceive they have been wronged--incorrectly described or caricatured. That offense finds its seed in pride. We become so sensitive about what others say that we cannot reason beyond how it affects us personally. Surely we all are tempted to think our thoughts closer to the truth than another at times. That may appear arrogant on our part to others. However, arrogance comes when we challenge anothers opinion as lesser than our own, their worth lesser than our own, their understanding lesser than our own, their knowledge lesser than our own--indeed, their "arrogance" more than our own. In other words, we claim a hold on a truth superior to another.

"We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12

"They are not wise."

God gives us life, breath, spirit, body, mind, and soul. Our thoughts are not His thoughts. Our thoughts are mere garble compared to His. Sometimes we get ourselves in the way of sharing Christ. We can be so certain of our own understanding, our own enlightenment, our own beliefs, that we press those views upon others without giving the Holy Spirit an inch of space to interpret His Word for anothers heart in His way, in His time. We can, at times, be so passionate to present a message that it becomes ours rather than God's. People can see this, and feel this. We "know" and they don't. We "have" and they don't. No wonder they reject our attempts at sharing Jesus.

Where is the fruit of the Spirit--the love, the humility, the peace, the gentleness, the kindness, the self-control in our expediency to share the gospel? Is our faith in God or ourselves? Is not Jesus more powerful than our words? our doctrine? our clarity?

He is the Vine rooted in the Father. Any fruit that comes from our branches are His and His alone. We get no credit until we meet the LORD in glory. Then all glory is His--not ours to claim. In the final analysis of life...it's not up to us to be correct, to be validated or affirmed by man. It's not up to us to point out to others how right we are.

Humility leaves room for revelation; it bows its head more than it lifts its chin.

"For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." 2 Corinthians 10:18

A Blogger's Comfort Zone

We each have them.  Comfort zones.  We have a space in which we find it comfortable to talk, to chat, to give our opinions.  We have topics we choose to avoid.  We have bloggers we avoid or ignore.  We are not comfortable with ourselves when we try to converse with others.  We don't trust ourselves.  We don't trust the other blogger.

Comfort comes when we trust our situation, our circumstance, our fellow bloggers.  When we feel we will be attacked for absolutely no reason, we do not comment.  When we feel a mere question can cause an avalanche of speculation and assumptions and motive interpretations, we don't ask.  We simply do not trust people.

It's sad that we cannot trust other Christians, isn't it?  I have no problem with secular blogs and I recognize that should I decide to comment and give an opinion (which I rarely do), that there will be explosive attitudes, snarky statements, and snide remarks.  It comes with being a follower of Christ.  However, when I visit sites and see this kind of comment stream between Christians, I avoid it like the plague.  It gives no honor or glory to God to demean another with tit-for-tat comebacks.  Rudeness is not love, because love is not rude.  Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Christian love is considerate.  It does not keep an account of wrongs...nor does it nit-pick others to pieces.

The more uncomfortable I find myself with a group of blogging voices, the more I avoid that community of bloggers.  I dare say, there are many bloggers just like me.  They have no desire to voice their thoughts when derogatory attacks are commonplace in a particular blog or collaborative blog.

I notice the more I read disturbing prattle, the more comfort food I eat.  That only adds more weight to an even weightier matter--my waist.  Why would I want to waste time fueling my desire to sabotage the temple of the Holy Spirit? Why would I want to violate my mind in such a way?  It is beyond my comfort zone.  Why would I want to try and add reason to the unreasonable?

It leaves a vacumn of reality in the blogging world when a group focuses on the "atta boy" and pat-on-the-back, and fist-bumps they give and receive from one another on a particular topic.  There are some, and I dare say many, who would totally disagree with a particular topic but bloggers like me stay clear of the streams because the tone is totally untrustworthy.  Therefore bloggers settle into a false comfort zone of ego-boosting.  They think they've found a safe-zone of wisdom and introspection.  When other bloggers refuse to enter those self-made zones to challenge their thoughts, they live in oblivious belief that they are right and everyone believes like they do.

Scary.  For it is written:  "Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:21

"Woe" means a consequence is coming.  "Woe" is a warning of condemnation to come.  "Woe" is not a good thing to look forward to--no matter how educated we get, or how many people agree with us.  In the end...the majority has no voice--only God's voice counts.  selahV for Today

 

Busy-body

"Keep your nose to yourself."  That's what my stepmother said to me when I asked too many questions about something that did not concern me.  "Mind your own business."

We kids would say to one another, "It's none of your bees-wax."  I have absolutely no clue why we said that.  But it meant the same thing.  As a sister to four brothers, I learned the hard way that talking about stuff that does not concern me can get me in all kinds of trouble--not to mention the damage it can do to others.

I've had times in my life when I talk to someone about something of concern to them and, out of the clear blue sky, they begin telling me all kinds of unrelated things that have nothing at all to do with me or them.  Not long ago someone did that to a friend of mine.  They insisted that my friend needed to know this "stuff".  "To be aware."

If you ask me, my friend should beware of those quick to carry a tale and share tidbits of knowledge that are really unnecessary to share.

"A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly." Proverbs 12:23

My husband is one of those "prudent men".  He keeps so much to himself that he forgets to tell me stuff my daughter intends for him to tell me.  That's okay; at least he doesn't have the heart of fools.

I don't know.  What do you think?  Seems to me that it is inappropriate to even listen to another's speculations and off-the-record news-reports of individuals you hardly know.  I see that happening a lot on the social-media connections we have today. Some "friends" are really not friends at all.  And too many public conversations should probably remain private.  So much can get lost in translation.

Do you ever wonder if folks want to befriend you just to gather what they suppose is inside info on a particular situation or person?

Do you think most trouble comes from joining conversations which do not concern us?  It kinda reminds me of blowing dandelion seeds in the wind.  No telling where a seed will come down and take root.

I'm just guessing, but I believe if I did a bit more research, I'd find some scripture that warns me of such conversations.  Maybe my husband is right.  Maybe we need to go back to the days of walking the neighborhoods and getting to know one another by stopping to chat on the front porch.  If only houses had more porches.  selahV for Today

ONE BLOGGER'S VOICE

A few years ago, another blogger friend asked me what I wanted my blog to say?

At first I thought, are you kidding? I am my blog. My blog is me. My blog says what I say. It speaks for me. It's the window into my heart. Occasionally you get a glimpse of my soul. Frequently you get a chunk of my mind--sometimes it reveals how little my mind can be. Often you see the struggle in my spirit...

the growth of my being...the lock upon my angst and irritants...

the secrets to my sanctification...the portal to my open arms.

My blog is a snapshot...taken from different angles...with and without makeup.

Many days my blog is the mirror in my monitor. It speaks to me. It shows me every freckle in my image. It exposes all my vulnerabilities. When I look closely, it magnifies each weakness I possess. It humbles me. It challenges me. It calls me to walk a bit straighter...taller. It brings me to my knees.

Sometimes my blog says more than I want it to. Sometimes it says less...far less.

But what do I want my blog to say? I want it to say:

Life is a treasure, a privilege, a gift--yet, a whisper in the wind.

Family is a blessing--a Christmas morning, a Thanksgiving dinner, a Birthday party--each day of every year.

Love is a hug, a thoughtful word, an encouraging phrase, a written giggle, a lingering smile, a moment to grasp and never let go.

Friendship is possible and much more than a word, a thumbnail, an email, or moniker...it loyalty, love, empathy and encouragement--a shared joy, heartache, or struggle--held in another's heart, mind and hands.  It's a safe space--where judgment has no place, condemnation is absent, and truth is gentle.

Loyalty is precious, integrity is honorable, respect is necessary.

Christianity is a holy union with the Triune God...it is binding...a lifestyle...a commitment...a temporal race...a community anyone can join with eternal benefits and reward.

God is real, is sufficient, Scripture is Divine and filled with instruction and hope.

Jesus is not a historical figure who gave nice talks and showed compassion. Jesus is REAL.  Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  He  He is the Living God.  He is everything you need and everything you've longed for.  And no one, absolutely no one, comes to the Father except through Him.  He who believes in, relies on, clings to Jesus receives eternal and everlasting life.

And...my friends, I guess that about sums up what I want my blog to say.

For the moment anyway.  selahV

[SO MY FRIENDS:  What do you want your blog to say?  If you write the answer, come back here and leave your blogpost url and I'll link to it and tell others to drop in and listen to your Voice.]

A COUPLE OF THINGS...

OR MORE.

A decade ago, I rode around all day with a television news reporter to do a news-story on her and how the whole news-story system worked.  She said her professors told her that news reporting all comes down to a 30-second soundbite--if that.  "Not even the president is worth more than 60 seconds".  (Or was it 15?) She filmed several things that day, spent hours filming and talking to folks.  Then came back to the station and cut hours of tape down to two 3-minute reports.  Crazy.

Sometimes blogging is like that.  You spend hours writing something and someone else reads what you write, then starts snipping, clipping, and introducing personal clarification to what you just said until it sounds more like something they would write than you would.

Perhaps it's just me.  But do you have times when you just don't want to bother explaining anymore?  You've written something as clearly as you know how...double-checked your nouns, verbs, and adjectives--removed part of them so as not to mislead anyone into thinking you are speaking of them directly in a perjorative sense.  Then someone slips in and picks a pinch out of what you write or say and slaps on a little Dijon Mustard to spice it up?

Suddenly, the rather bland innocuous statement you make (which is kinda like an after-dinner mint), becomes someone else's gourmet entre`?  Soon folks are feasting on leftovers of another's making?  It happens.  It happens a lot in journalism, in news reporting, in editorial analysis, and editing processes. It seems more pronounced in blogging because even though your words are right before your eyes, someone can turn it around backwards and you're doing all kinds of contortions to try and get your sentence structure straightened out.  I've watched this happen to a few people recently.

Should this happen to you when you say something, dear friends, and it is taken out of context, spliced into another's opinion, and becomes such an unrecognizable distortion of your original thinking that even you question what you say, take a few deep cleansing breaths.

Then re-read what you said.  Re-read why you said it.  Then re-read how the person re-wrote what you said.  Then sit a while and try to figure out what you really said and how far off the other person is with their interpretation of what you said.  Then write a response.

If all of the above fails to make it any clearer, then simply give up.  Let it go.  Move on.  Write a squirrely anecdote like this:

Four-year-old Kinsey snuggled into my side as we sat in her daddy's overstuffed recliner.  "I like playing fun-fu fightin' with daddy," she mused aloud.

"You do?  What's fun-fu-fightin'?"

"It's what daddy does with us.  He says we fun-fu instead of kung-fu because kung-fu is all about hurting each other when you fight.  But fun-fu is all about having fun when you play with each other."

Sure made sense to me. Agreeing is much better than disagreeing.  Playing much better than fighting.  Take comfort in the fact that to everything there is a season.  Yep, this too shall pass. selahV

SelahV's Saturday Synopsis of Blogs

"SelahV's Saturday Synopsis"

 is my short summation of various blogs (not to suggest this defines the whole of either the blogger or blogger's potential--just the singular post to which is linked in my biased opinion), which I find saliently define the assigned word I award it.

I have no magic polling system which determines the substance of another's mind or spiritual condition.  I can only read and let the Lord use what He uses to feed me a word of encouragement, an inspirational thought, an uplifting slice of life, or edifying breadcrumb for my soul.  I do hope you'll take a few moments and visit the posts I've stumbled upon this week in a search for more positive approaches from SBC bloggers in venue of world-wide witnesses so often overlooked.  Ironically, this week I've chosen all women to spotlight.

So....here goes:

SOUND....For this word I choose Hart for Him, "Encouragement for the Journey". In this day and age, the following quote is one of the most timely and sound pieces of advice ladies can see and hear: " Ladies all of us need to be reminded, from time to time, that what we wear and how we present ourselves does matter."....To read the rest of Dianne Hart's post, just patter over HERE and be encouraged for your journey in spiritual awareness.  Have a heart...go read it.

SOOTHING....for this word I choose "For a Little While", Am I An Unbelieving Believer?  This following phrase jumped out at me when I saw its preceding post with the most darling photo of the writer's 3 year-old son leaping with joy:  "Last night Lily said to me, “Mommy, last night I was praying in my bed that God would..."  To read the rest of this post tip-toe over HERE and stay "for a little while". Her photos are like sunshine.

SENSATIONAL...for this word I choose Kentucky WMU, Linda Cooper's Closing Words: "Did you know that when you have WMU in your church, praying and giving is stronger and a higher % is given to the cooperative program.  We sure have influence!!!!  You all will have to help me on this one…Did he say that WMU pushes pastors or PULLS them along?"  To read the rest of this challenging audacious statement, click HERE.  Seriously, she's serious and in this blogger's opinion, Spot-On.

SENTIMENTAL...for this word I choose More Precious Than Jewels, with a video of "A Late Night Talk".  This post is a superior example of what all dad's should do for their children.  Short videos where you interact a bit with your child.  Having lost a son, and knowing how precious the moments of life are, I can attest that this post is a prime representation of what is definitely "more precious than jewels" left behind to a child without a daddy.  Take time to look at this video and then make time to follow it's simply example.  To see what I mean, go HERE.

SUPERIOR, SALIENT, SOLICITOUS, SIGNIFICANT...for these words I chose Unlocking Feminity with the post "Pink Nails and Princess Boys".  Folks, this post should knock the socks off ya.  Words that clinched the award for Superior blogging are: "Can a man wear a pink dress shirt, and avoid confusion about his masculinity? Culturally – yes. But can a man wear pink nail polish with the same effect? Culturally – no."  To read the entire piece, go HERE and unlock your feminity while understanding masculinity.

SIMPLY SO So...beyond description...for these words I chose My Messy Manger, with "Little Joshy's Passion of Christ".  Truly worth seeing this reenactment of The Passion by a little boy. To see this video presentation go HERE.

Occasionally one word cannot suffice in defining a particular post.  Therein lies the reason I gave four words to one of the blogs.

In future "SATURDAY SYNOPSIS" posts, I shall explore more words such as: STUPENDOUS, SERENE, SUFFICIENT, SUBLIME, SATISFYING, SUBSTANTIAL, SILLY, SARCASTIC, STIFLING, SMOTHERING, SATURATING, SOULFUL and maybe even STUPID.

Should you have a post which you feel best described by one or some of these words, feel free to comment and tell me about them.  Who knows?  I might agree with you.

BLOG WARS (Part 1)

There really must be a method to a blogger's madness.  Many bloggers visit other bloggers to see what they write.  Then they pick out something about the post, or some comment someone makes in a stream, and their muse goes into overdrive.  Sometimes it happens to me.  I have a cache of devotionals that are a direct result of another's inspiring messages.  (No one at war there.)

However, there are some bloggers whose muse gets drunk and it's no telling where that muse will take them.  They are bloggers gone wild.  Sometimes one blogger posts something that draws blood about a particular subject.  Then a second or third blogger mentions it at their blogsite and then links to the first.  Often bloggers link one another to carry others to the blogs discussing the same subject with different perspectives.  Sometimes those links are constructive and informative.  Other times, one wonders how they arrived; they know they're not in "Kansas", anymore.

I call these blog-wars.  It can be absolutely maddening trying to keep up with the battles, the strategies, the captains, the sergeants and minions that run back and forth pasting comments, links, and supporting opinions.  It can sometimes be humorous to see how quickly someone counters another, as if they are sitting right there at their monitors all day long like a watchman on the frontlines of war.

Ever been to some of those blogs that open up the stream with nothing but a posting box--any topic goes?  You know, like Greta Van Susteren from Fox News?  Those commenters can get really nasty over there.  Not fun to enter that stream.  No one really cares what the other person thinks.  No one wants to carry on conversations or dialogue about a matter of significance.  They just want to voice their opinion and beat others up when they don't agree with them.  I visited a few of those during the 2008 elections.  Not pretty.  Those blogs are doing battle with no strategy of a victor--and no reason to their rhymes.

I don't know what to say about bloggers who find their delight and calling to denigrate.  I really don't.  I don't know what kind of psycholocial reasoning some bloggers have for posting perspectives meant to divide humanity rather than to unite it.  I especially have trouble wrapping my mind around that reasoning when it comes to Christian brothers and sisters.  But it happens.  It makes me wonder, though.  Whatever happened to "do unto others as you would that they should do to you"? 

Do Christians not know that God is not sleeping or slumbering?  Do they not know that He doesn't just look at the outside of man, but He knows the heart, the mind, the intent and motive of each and everything they do?  Do they not realize a dog shall return to its own vomit? (I know, that sounds nasty but it's in the book of Proverbs and really makes a point, here.)

If you came here looking for the battle-front, I probably just disappointed you.  For that I am sorry.  I am truly working through this whole thing myself.  I watch what others write and wonder why.  I figure in the scheme of things, the hay and stubble will eventually be burned away.  The gold and silver will remain and Jesus will get the glory.  What do you think?  selahV 

When Words Are Not Enough (Part Three)

Words of encouragement are all some know.  "They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb." Psalm 19:10

Unlike gold and honey, words of discouragement are all some people have to say.  Their sentences are like an overstuffed suitcase.  They carry unnecessary baggage and really do need to go through an x-ray machine and be unpacked before they reach the other side of the conveyor belt.

Sometimes a person's brain leaves the station before it has time to weigh the words in its heart.

I think that words are the clumsiest, most inadequate measure of one's heart that we have.  I, cherish words of affirmation as an outward expression of another's love for me.  But sometimes I forget to measure them when I speak.

I forget to consider that the person with whom I am sharing all my words and sentences, may not see them, hear them, or understand them quite the way I intend.  Why?  Because sometimes they are ill-chosen, ill-timed, ill-defined, and ill-written.  So how else can one communicate?

My husband chooses to express his heart, mind and soul with acts of service.  Yet even acts of service can be misconstrued, can't they?  One time my husband thought he was doing me a service by trimming my forsythia bush away from our air-conditioning unit.  He cut off all of its sprawling stems just as it was coming into full-bloom.  Instead of me having a gorgeous display of yellow to hide the hideously ugly air-conditioning unit by my house, I had a short ball of yellow that called attention to that hideously ugly air-conditioning unit.

Did I ever rain on my husband's parade of expressive love when my distorted words of affirmation screamed, "What in the world were you thinking!  Why didn't you simply uproot the thing!"  I gathered up as many of the manicured stems that lay on the ground as I could in my arms, took them in the house and placed them in every jar imaginable to finish blooming inside my home.  For days those brightly colored stems made peace with my heart.  But for my husband, they served as a reminder of how his acts of service had failed to express his sincerest wishes.  Sometimes, attitude is everything, and words are entirely too much.

Words can be everything that's wrong.  Everything that hurts.  And would be better left unsaid.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Provers 17:22

Ill-chosen words destroy the heart of the hearer.  They are not worth the air it takes to even whisper, let alone to shout.  May the Lord give us words befitting a cheerful heart filled with His love and grace.

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (PART TWO)

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (PART ONE)

When I Need A Cup of Grace

I sit across from a dear friend.  Fresh-brewed tea fills the air with a sweet fragrance of peaches and honey.  We sip.  We share.  We hear the other's words.  We reveal discouragements, annoyances, irritations, and joys.  We trust one another to keep those things in an invisible safe space to which only we hold the key.

Would others understand if they heard us talking?  Would they understand that what we say in that tiny space of time is not the whole of either of us?  Do we understand that?  Yes, we do.

The blessing in friendship is that we love each other without conditions.  Friendship is like the tea in our cups.  One is the water, the other the tea, fused together by the warmth within our hearts and the Savior we both know. Time and love creates a savory relationship we enjoy when we are together, or apart.  Whether we hear from one another every day, once a month, or a year.  When we return to share a cup of tea, our hearts find our bond was never separated.  How could we separate steeped tea from water, anyway? 

Despite the voyeuristic Reality television shows, few of us want the world to know each thought we have, or each action we take in the privacy of our homes and relationships.  That is why trust is such an unbelieveable gift to another.  When we give a piece of ourselves to another, it is in their possession.  We trust them with who we are and all our warts and weaknesses.  When we are taught to distrust, it is hard to show another the completeness of who we are.  When we have been betrayed at some point in our lives, it is difficult to give ourselves to another's keeping.

What if they do to us what others have done?  What if they never cared for us in the first place?  What if they have their own motives for wanting to get to know us?  Do we dare let down our guard?

What we know about another, from another, is not as telling as what we know firsthand, up close and personal.  If we have not had the occasion and opportunity to get to know another, we cannot truly know them. Unfortunately, this occurs quite often when a young couple gets engaged.  Or when a boss chooses a new employee.  Or when two people meet via internet conversations.

It's hard to know the depths of another or what makes them tick, don't you think?  It's like the tea-time we share. When we drink a cup of tea, we only see one side of the cup when we reach for it and turn it up to drink from its well.  There is always another side we cannot see.  Unless we turn the cup around and look at it from another's view, we cannot begin to know they see and how they see it.  Even then, we only get a glimpse, a shadow.  But at least we are looking at the same cup from the other's perspective and view for awhile.

If all we do is look at the cup from our own viewpoint, it's safe to say we'll never understand the other.  It takes time for each to become familiar with the whole cup, the intricate designs, the simplicity of the other, the fingerprints, the contents.  And just when you think you have the other figured out, the Lord reveals another part of them or you.

It takes effort to discover what we each are truly like.  It takes patience.  It takes acceptance and compromise.  And sometimes...well, sometimes, we find we're simply not the other's cup of tea.  We could drink all the tea in China with one another and never be able to communicate.  It's need we need to drink from the cup of Grace for one another and accept  that it may be best to switch to coffee. (to be continued with..."What Others Expect From Us")  selahV

                                WHO DO YOU TRUST?

BE SLOW TO SPEAK...

It never fails when we are quick to speak, we often stumble and fall into a puddle of pride. We have opinions but are they godly?  Do they bubble up inside our hearts and mind with humility and meekness, or arrogance and strife?  We have experiences we can point to as evidence of our opinions, but do they put undo light upon us and what we know or what we've done?  or do they point others to what God says and what He's done?

"Be ruthless with yourself if you are given to talking about the experiences you have had.  Faith that is sure of itself is not faith; faith that is sure of God is the only faith there is."  Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, 12:21

Is what we have to say important enough to add to a given conversation?  Does what we have to say matter in the eternal scheme of things?  Can opinions get out of control and add fodder to a fire better left to die a natural death?  What am I about anyway?

"Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife." Proverbs 26:20-21

How stubborn must we be before we become so bull-headed we will not budge?  How stiff-necked must we be before the Lord swats us on the back of our proverbial heads?  I wonder.  When we hold our piece, will it keep the peace?  selahV

ARE YOU AN INFLUENTIAL BLOGGER?

Does your voice matter?  Do your words count?  Do your thoughts, ideas, opinions?

When I think about being influential, I think of how things affect me and mine.  Does another person have the power to change my mind...look at a situation from another perspective...stir me to action?  Can an op-ed prick my conscience so sharply, stir my soul so deeply, I am compelled to pray for the writer? his or her concerns?  Or does a writer's words simply cause a yawn to claim my mind?

Depending upon the situation, every single person has influence.  For instance, I have plans today to get some writing assignments completed.  Yet, if my 6-year-old granddaughter asks her momma to call me and see if she can come over and play, I am more than likely going to find her request quite a compelling force upon my heart and time.  Some things are just more important than others; tea parties, painting birdhouses, and swinging in my hammock with my grandchildren are such things.

Influence only has the power another gives it.  We do not have to be influenced by others--their words or their actions.  However, when their ideas and views line up with our own, they are more than likely going to draw us beneath their wings of thought.  We're apt to find ourselves subscribing to their blog-feed.  Some writers have only one influence upon me---they make me mad everytime I read their words.  This kind of influence compels me to one action--ignore them.  I do not read their blogs, I do not listen to their opinions of another's writing or words.  If I have a minimal amount of respect for a writer or their views, I tend to skip their comments in a stream.

I admit it.  I am not influenced by what many people write--even when others claim them to be influential.  Nevertheless, just because I don't think someone is influential--just because I do not agree with them, and view their influence as nothing but a growling rottweiler, a slobbering bulldog, or a yapping chihuahua, does not negate the fact that they may indeed influence others.  Just because I am annoyed by a barking hound--does not mean that dog won't hunt and bring home the game to the doorstep of others...just as surely as my newspaper man delivers my newspaper each morning.  I may never pick up the paper.  I may never click on a highly-trafficked link; it doesn't change the fact that others are most certainly influenced in some way--good or bad, positively or negatively--when they do.

As Christians who blog, we must therefore, weigh our words, and bring our thoughts into the captivity of Christ to use as He sees fit.  In the end, no matter how man judges us, the Judge most worthy of consideration is Jesus.  He'll have the final word, no matter what you or I say. selahV  

 

The Flaw of Communication

When we write articles and blogposts which produce questions and encourage thought, it only follows that people will misconstrue our words to fit their own train of thought, idea or viewpoint.  It's just the way things go in the writing world--especially blogging.

Most writers know, without a shadow of doubt, that someone somewhere will be doing surgery on their words.  A good writer knows it's inevitable and makes every effort to address the questions before they're even asked...to cover possible arguments before they're ever considered.  Many writers take excruciating pains to word their posts, thinking through various ways an illustration might be taken or argued.  Even though a writer should have reasonable expectation to be taken for what they say in a piece, they need to know their expectations are more like a wish than a reality.

That never happened with Jesus.  He knew exactly what He was saying and He didn't give a fig's leaf of thought to whether He'd be misunderstood.  He knew exactly who would understand Him and who would not.  He knew His mind, His heart, His motives with every word He spoke.  He was God and man, susceptible to the flesh--yet sinless, pure and holy.  Not so with man...when we speak, or write, we can only hope that folks will "get" our point.  We hold reasonable expectations that they'll read what we are saying.  Writers write, ever mindful that another can misinterpret the substance and the purpose of what they write.  Unlike Jesus, we may question our own words at times...we know we are not infallible.  We know we are not always pure in thought.  We may have the best of intentions but still fail in our desire to succinctly relate our thoughts to others.  Even the most prolific writers have unrelenting critics who read standing sideways on a cliff of understanding and discernment.  People read with their own slant and bias, often overlooking critical points when analyzing. 

I call that the flaw of communication.  Perhaps it's an unwritten law of human nature?

Folks just tend to jump to particular conclusions.  They tend to hammer out a particular sentence or word, to make it fit an argument they want to make or interpretation they prefer.  They weigh in and judge a writer's words by presumed intent rather than content.  Happens about every time I read a blog.  Some commenter, or several, take the op to levels it never intended to go, to extremes it never meant to imply.  They twist it into something it does not say, nor ever will say--no matter how many blog-posts are written to analyze it.  Quite often, when the author re-explains his/her rationale and point, commenters and critics respond with retaliatory remarks dripping of condescension, accusation, and repudiation. 

That can be hurtful--to the writer.  However, it can be the least of damage done by a reader.

The worst happens when a sliver of what one writes or says is delivered to another group of readers or listeners--a group which is all too eager to rip another's words into snippets and reduce it to one-liners and soundbites far from the point of a writer's original words.  It reminds me of when I toss a leftover hambone to my daughter's three canines.  They each tear into it, growling and running away with choice chunks to devour.  None of them know the delight of sitting down with the family and conversing over dinner with all the trimmings of mashed potatoes, corn-on-the-cob, and bacon-flavored green beans.  They're satisfied with a ragged edge of gristle, fat and marrow.  Such is the flaw of communication: folks who do not desire to discuss ideas, or consider inevitabilities--but have fore-drawn conclusions and myopic patterns of discourse.

It's a wonder we communicate at all.  selahV

RELATED THOUGHTS: LIFE IS TOO SHORT 

BEFORE YOU CONFRONT SOMEONE...

In 1 Kings 18, before Elijah confronts the worshippers of Baal to prove God was God, the only God, he got his marching orders from God.  Then he put his wood in order.  He prepared the altar of the Lord which had been torn down.  He placed 12 stones for the twelve tribes.  He had them dig a 13-inch deep trench around the altar; put the wood upon the stones, cut up the bull, then drenched it all with water until it filled that trench.  He did all that before He called on God to ignite that wood and consume it.  When the trench of water surrounded the drenched wood, all was in order.  Elijah called on God to burn up the water-saturated wood.  Four-hundred and fifty Baal prophets (with all their chest pounding, body slashing, and self-masochism) could not get their god, the god of fire and lightning, to produce a single spark to consume their own dry sacrifice.  Yet when Elijah called on God, His fire consumed the entire sacrifice and left the water-soaked ground dry as a desert sand.

I've used this as a guide on many occasions when I consider confronting another. I should first wait upon the Lord and be certain God is leading me to confront them--and that it is within God's timing that I do so.  Often we jump too soon; we're impulsive to right whatever wrong, to "help" God out.  Instead, we should put our wood in order; Elijah based his argument on the 12 tribes of Israel, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  On what do we base our argument to confront?  That we've been offended?  That we don't like the way someone does a certain thing?  That they aren't saying things we want them to say?  How solid is the foundation of our argument?  What is the purpose for our confrontation?  To do good, or simply to point out another's failings and create greater diviseness?

As we consider confronting anyone we'd probably do well to ask: am I able to discern another's situation with a clean heart--washed free from any prejudice or preconceived ideas?  Is the "log" out of my own eye?  Have I asked God to forgive any anymosity hidden in my heart regarding the situation and people involved?  If I can answer these things affirmatively, then it's safe to proceed in considering a confrontation.  If not, I should get myself right with God, and let go of any irritation I have with the party I am about to confront.  I find that most times, when I get this part straightened out, I have no need to confront anyone.

Have I thought objectively about the issue and prayed about it?  Can I truthfully say that God is leading me to confront them?  If the answers are affirmative, then it is safe to move forward.  However, if I have no peace with my answers, and am convicted I could be seeing this through flesh-filled eyes, then it is best to delay a confrontation until I am able to see the situation through God's eyes--with everyone's best interest at heart.

Will the confrontation be one with healing in mind? with reconciliation? with restoration?  If so, then am I willing to heal, reconcile, and restore another?  Or should they disagree with my assessments, will it spark anger, dredge up previously unresolved grievances, and lead to my sinning against God?  If it is the latter, I must sit back and rethink my purpose for confronting another.  I need to so bathe my situation with prayer that there is absolutely no questioning Who is at work to help right the situation.

Can you forgive the transgression before you meet with them?  Are you confronting with love?  Can you speak with gentleness, concern, kindness and without condemnation?  Can you do this with a humble heart, a controlled Spirit, yet a boldness resting upon truth and consideration for all concerned?  Then drench your meeting in prayer and pray for the Holy Spirit to move ahead and prepare the heart of all concerned.

A word of caution in confrontation: If you see a lull in the conversation, be vigilant to deny satan access with an impulsive answer, question, or corrective advice.  Don't let him wiggle his way into the conversation because you don't wait upon the convicting work of the Holy Spirit. This is a good time to pray for God to work within the situation and heal and give you more words to bring this about.  selahV

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Ever felt the urge to confront someone?  Perhaps you've been wronged.  Perhaps you see another being wronged.  Ever follow through and confront someone, only to discover you totally mis-judged a situation, and or, the party involved?  If you're anything like me, you feel like dirt. It's kinda like jumping into a mudpuddle and splashing everyone around you.  All you can do is say I'm sorry.  But often, fall-out follows you.  The person you confront tells someone else, and pretty soon the "how-dare-they" emotions erupt within a second, or third or more parties.  Within a few hours, you not only feel like dirt--you are dirt among the conversations of man.

By nature I like to give folks the benefit of the doubt.  Yet, sometimes, I allow myself the luxury of taking someone at their word and been sorely disappointed.  When that occurs, it breeds a kind of skepticism; if I indulge that skepticism, it soon evolves into complete distrust of any party.  I hate to hear folks share a bunch of negatives about others, especially when you are not acquainted with others.  But anytime one is fed negative stuff about another, it tends to take on a life of its own.  It can sit in the back corner of one's mind till another does something similar--then it pounces upon the scene and destroys any chance of building a relationship--or reconciling one.

I'm beginning to believe that jumping to conclusions without all the facts, is a lot like jumping off a cliff without knowing the depth of the water below.  Sooner or later, you are bound to get hurt.  The only way to avoid becoming one big grease-splat in the scheme of life, is to avoid jumping in the first place.  You might disagree and say, the best thing to do is not to listen to someone dump negatives in the first place.  I like that, but it is not the norm.  Many times you cannot stop a person from unloading their garbage on your front lawn.  It just happens.  So my advice is not to go picking through another's trash.  And if you happen to get slapped with some unwanted garbage, go wash yourself off before trying to make it to the curb. 

^7"Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

 ⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

 ⁹Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

 ¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:7-10

[NEXT post:  BEFORE YOU CONFRONT SOMEONE....] selahV

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT CALVINISM

...WOULD FILL A THIMBLE.   If knowledge was an acre of pinto beans, I might have one bean to plant in the ground.  Therefore, I do not, nor will not, debate Calvinism.

Until 2006, I didn't even know what Calvinism was, and when someone shared something in the comment streams I frequented, I had to look up nearly every single term used.  I was so dumb.  Totally ignorant.  Tulips were flowers to me.  Points were the sharp steel tips on the end of my son's arrows.  Who was this Calvin guy?  Why did some Baptists say they didn't agree with Calvin on this or that, yet they considered themselves Calvinist?  Why did Baptists say they were reformed?  Was that a new word for born-again?  Why did people fling, "You are an Arminian," like it was some kind of insult?"  Who was Arminius?  I did not know.  Why were Christians fighting about them?

As I began to dip my toes into the blog-streams of discussions, I found myself wrapped in the seaweed of retaliatory questions.  I couldn't get answers to my questions.  I got links.  Read this.  Read that.  Read something else.  I did some reading, but whenever I read something which provoked a question in my mind--that didn't seem to go along with what I understood in relation to my own faith--I'd go back and bring up the question, only to be given more rhetorical questions and links.  Lots of links.  Finally, I gave up trying.

I decided to simply read what folks had to say about Calvinism and non-Calvinism.  I watched for those Calvies who were gentle and kind in their remarks to one another.  I watched for non-Calvies who responded to the gentleness and kindness with their own kindness and gentleness.  I overlooked a lot of sarcasm, tit-for-tat stuff because I began to see that many who did that actually knew one another.  I met some great fellas and a couple of ladies who were Calvies.  They were super nice and I count them as dear dear friends in Christ today.  I met some funny hot-shot logical thinkers who loved playing games with words and questions; they reveled in turning a phrase and asking confounding questions--rather than giving straight answers and clear statements.  I watched battle after battle--some I understood.  Others are still being waged.

Now, here I am making a confession of sorts.  I still don't know much more about Calvinism.  But I've discovered, most Calvinists do not know a lot about Calvinism. They know some facts, they know what others say about Calvin, but Calvin is dead.  He's been dead a very long time. He did not write any of the books in the Bible.  He wrote about his views and understanding of the books in the Bible. He did not create his own theology and name it Calvinism.  People did.  As I read more, I noticed that even the Calvies disagree with one another over Calvinistic terms and the definitions of those terms.  Some agreed with some points, but not all points, or some of one point, but not all of some point.  So even Calvies are at odds on how they relate to another's terms within the theology of the master Calvin.  Yet, each and every one of those I have corresponded with believe in Jesus.  All of them.  It goes without saying they trust in Him for their salvation.

I saw a comment by a Calvinist friend of mine the other day.  He was one who came to my rescue in my early blogging days (when I was severely attacked on Founders Blog for daring to ask questions while exposing my ignorance).  For a while Greg and I chatted back and forth via email. The comment Greg made on a comment stream said that he must be ready to give an answer for his faith and then he cited 1 Peter 3:15. 

I like that reference because I had just published another post on that verse regarding quarreling amongst us. 1 Peter 3:15 doesn't actually say to be ready to give an answer for the "faith" that is within us, but rather "the reason for the hope that is within" us.  My Hope that is within me is Jesus.  Jesus Christ.  My Savior.  My Redeemer.  My Lord.  He is the Hope--the only hope I have.  Granted Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."  But I have not seen Jesus, and I have not seen the gates of heaven, or the mansion Jesus is preparing for me.  But I have the "hope". That hope lives inside of me.  It is as real to me as knowing I will see my two little granddaughters if I get in my car this morning and drive over to my daughter's house five miles away.

A lot of folks take this verse and use it as their license to argue about the nuances, the bits and pieces and slices and dices of doctrine, theology, and differences one holds about their faith in Christ.  I think that is why Peter added the caveat at the end of that verse--"yet do it with gentleness and respect." Christians who share the gospel with bold arrogance, belligerence and self-righteousness belie a divisive spirit within, and exemplify a behavior that is the antithesis of the very gospel that Peter told them to be ready to share. Read again: 

"And in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect."  1 Peter 3:15 ESV

Bluntness, insensitivity, rudeness, unseemliness, intolerance, impatience, and self-righteousness are at odds with the above descriptors of respect and gentleness.  Those belligerent attitudes carry abusive bullying techniques with them.  That in my opinion is counter-productive to sharing "the reason for the hope that is within us."  If we can't get the ground rules right, then we may as well not start a discussion.

Of course, to me, the reason for the hope that is within me is Jesus Christ living in me because when He stood at the door and knocked, I was sitting inside, a virtual mess of sin-filled actions, thoughts, and moral depravation. But when I heard His voice, I opened the door. He came in and He poured out Himself to me like living water and I couldn't drink enough of Him. He fed me through His Word. That is an act of my faith but certainly not the reason for the hope.  The reason for the hope is the multiple scriptures that tell me I am a blood-bought, redeemed, sanctified, justified child of the Living God.  It's knowing the Holy Spirit has sealed me unto the day of salvation where I will be glorified in Him.  It's the promise of Philippians 1:6 that assures me Christ will continue working on me for the day of completion when I'll bow down before Him and praise His holy name for saving my wretched self-centered soul.  What a hope!  Amazing hope!  He says:

"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hears my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne." Rev 3:19-21

What I know about doctrines, Calvinism, Arminianism, and all the other "isms" would fit in a thimble.  The only "ism" I know is Him.  Jesus, the only begotten Son of God.

I heard.  I opened.  Jesus came in.  He is my hope.  And "if any man hears" His voice and opens the door, He will come in to him, too.  selahV

QUARRELING AMONGST US

IS IT POSSIBLE TO STOP IT?

I talked with someone last week who was new to blogging.  I noticed a comment he'd made in a stream where Baptists were arguing and debating theology.  He wrote that it seemed as though folks were talking past one another in order to make a point.  I asked him to email me and he related, "Our intra-mural squabblings give us a bad name.  It belies an intolerance below the surface that is neither Christ-like, nor good for the work of the kingdom."

The apostle Peter said, "In your hearts set Christ apart as holy, as Lord.  Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.  However, do this with gentleness and respect, keeping your conscience clear, so that when you are accused, those who denounce your Christian life will be put to shame.  For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil."  1 Peter 3:-15-17

What is "the hope that is within you"?  Wouldn't you think that since we should be gentle with the lost person, and to treat them with respect, that we should go even farther, and be even more diligent, in our efforts to show Christ living within us by our actions, words, and discussions when we talk with a brother or sister in Christ? When we talk about them with others?  Maybe that is why Paul told Timothy:

"Remind [the people] of these facts and [solemnly] charge them in the presence of the Lord to avoid petty controversy over words, which does no good but upsets and undermines the faith of the hearers. Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth. But avoid all empty (vain, useless, idle) talk, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness." 2 Timothy 2:14-16

Does controversy over words do anyone any good?  Do arguments undermine the faith of the hearers? Have you been party to leading others "into more and more ungodliness"?  Avoid "all" empty talk.  Not some.  But all.  Wonder what Peter would say to us...and Paul...should they venture into our blog-streams today?  selahV

POKERS, PRODDERS, AND SPURS

A poker is one of those long metal (usually iron) rods which a person uses to poke at coals and logs in a fireplace.  It enables its user to stand safely away from the heat of the flames, as the hooked end catches hold of an errant log--which is not burning as expected.  A poker, put simply, pokes.  It pokes hot coals and nearly charred logs to get the fire going, should it try to die down.  It changes the position of logs in order to get a fire blazing.  Are you a poker?

A prodder can be a shepherd's staff, an elephant trainer's stick, or even a person.  A prodder tries to urge another to move in a specific direction for a specific purpose--sheep which are dumb as dumb can be, are prodded.  A prodder can guide or provoke.  It can nudge or needle--punch or punish.  Are you a prodder?

Spurs are those pointed objects a cowboy wears on the heel of his boots.  They act to poke a horse in its side, to prod it to move in a certain way with measured urgency.  Do you spur others on?

In the world of blogging and beyond, we find pokers, prodders, and sets of spurs.  A question came to me as I have seen my words used to poke and prod others in the last few days.  We need pokers, prodders, and spurs.  We need folks willing to approach the flames and readjust the burning logs.  Some fires need to die out--others need stoking with a poke here, and a breath of fresh air now and then.  We need someone to poke the coals and shuffle them about so the best of their heat is used.  We need folks to spur one another to action.  To move forward.  To run the race as courageously, as boldly, as honorably as possible.

The discerning mind, the yielded spirit, and open heart have the wisdom to see the difference between a prodder of unity and a provoker of divisiveness and animosity.  May you find yourself among the discerning, the yielded, and the open.  May I be counted among those who enrich, create comfort, instill warmth--where others may separate, and inflame to destroy or quench the Spirit of God.  Lord knows I fail so often to tend the fires He calls me to light.  It's not from lack of desire--some things need to burn--and burn like a bonfire.  Other things need to be kept under control--a little shifting here, a bit of prodding there.  When one sees a fire in need of another log, they must be very mindful of offering to add the wood.  It could very well come slamming down on a foot you've left too close to the fire.  selahV 

ANALYZING MY PRAYER LIFE

I always wonder about my prayer life when I have a week like I had this past week.

Let me tell you a few of the oddities that occurred this week.  Then I'll tell you what I had prayed at the beginning of last week.

First day out of the gate my husband got a ticket.  Seems the motorcycle police officer wasn't happy with how long my husband sat at a stop sign.  We both chuckled over the rare fact that my husband got a ticket.  The second day my husband went to inspect a vacant house and make a property report and got stung several times by huge wasps. (So glad he isn't allergic to bee stings.)  His ear was two times the size of normal.

Well, one of hubby's part-time jobs, is custodian of a Christian elementary school, for those of you who do not know.  So after being stung, he went to work that day, and the principal tells him they'd had the plumber come and clear out the lines of a small bathroom in one of the rooms so they could use it as a new school room.  All was good, except when the plumber blew out the line and cleared the years-old plugged toilet, all the junk blew out into the kitchen sink of the room next to it.  The sewage was all over the cabinets, the kitchen sink, the countertops and floor.  And guess who got to clean up all that mess?  Yeah.  I'm glad I am married to a saint.  Otherwise he might have been in a really grumpy mood when I told him what had happened to me that day.

I went to the Water-park with my granddaughters and after making several rounds around the lazy river with my inner tube, I discovered I'd taken my cell-phone swimming with me.  The cell-phone did not enjoy the swim--even though I'd given it a break from the 107-degree temperatures.  It didn't work to take it apart and blow-dry the phone.  It's dead.  I drowned it.

So I go to AT&T to get a new one.  They don't sell mine anymore.  I hate the new ones.  (Then again, I don't much like change of any kind.)  So, I didn't get a new phone.  But my daughter had an old one that didn't have a back on it that I could use till I made up my mind what I wanted, (or, if I wanted anything at all).  I'm contented to just have a phone I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for.  So I took my sim-card out of my old phone so I could have my address book with my own numbers.  Well, who knew that a person must save the numbers to the sim-card as well as the phone or you don't have any numbers?  So, I've lost dozens of telephone numbers I had stored in my phone.  Who writes them down on paper, anymore?  Annoying?  Not nearly as annoying as going swimming the next day and drowning my daughter's phone, too.  Yep.  I'm serious.  I had tucked it into my bathing suit pocket and forgotten it--Again.  So I took it for a dip in the lazy-river, too.  Cannot believe I am that dumb and forgetful.  But....well, I am.

It reminds me of how forgetful I can be with my commitments to the Lord, too.  I seek His help to become less aggravated with circumstances, then I get aggravated.

I won't bother telling you the rest of the stuff that went on this week.  Totally mind-boggling.  But I will share what I prayed at the beginning of the week:  I asked the Lord to make me more sensitive to Him, to what He wanted for my life as His child.  I committed myself to a deeper walk with Him.  I didn't want to get all caught up in the mundane, little aggravations of life and miss out on the most valuable opportunities He had for me to be a witness of His love, patience and steadfastness.  I committed myself to a better attitude in the midst of trials.  I told Him I wanted to experience the contentment found only in Him.  I committed myself to complaining less and praising more.

Well, here I am. I recognize that my life is full of junk--just like that toilet that was plugged.  Sometimes God has to clean out all the junk in our lives to get us to recognize He is in control--and the habits we've formed must be changed to be the light He wants us to be.  To have patience, I must learn to be patience and less frustrated in the annoyances of life.  To be content, I need to relax and allow God to work out His will as I let go of my own.  To be calm in the midst of chaos happens only as I let go of my expectations, my pre-conceived ideas of what I deserve in life.  Life is not about me.  It's about a God so holy, so gracious, so magnificent than everything pales in comparison to walking with Him.  My faith in Christ calls for a kinder, gentler nature in the pathways of disruptive situations.  Living contentedly requires a total surrender of my comfort to His sovereign control.  Stuff in life is just stuff.  How I react to all that stuff is what God is concerned about.  Looking back, I see how little that much of the annoyances affected my attitude toward others.  I didn't get upset.  I didnt' allow it to carry over into conversations with others.  God was at work in me.  Then...

I got a quick lesson in this when my laptop that came back from servicing quit working.  Yeah.  It worked for two days, then stopped connecting to the internet.  So I am back to limited use of the computer.  At first I was so ticked off I couldn't even reply to emails from people I care about.  Then I calmed down and realized--this is the lesson--the real lesson God wanted me to learn this week.

The communication I need to think about is what God wants me to have with Him.  When I communicate with Him, He opens the lines of communicating with others.  Laptops, cell-phones, computers--they are a means, but my attitude is what God cares about--otherwise, any message I convey is worthless.  He wants my attention.  "He will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is stayed on Him."   Prayer is a dangerous thing sometimes.

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (Part two)

When words are not enough in this world, very often they are too much.  Our attempts to build a better bridge, fix a troubled life, and mend a ravaged heart with imperfect words and sentences, often fail to meet another's needs.  What we intend to encourage may only discourage, to comfort, further discomforts.  Words are less than a dandelion's seed blown in the wind, until they find a resting place to die.  In their death, they sprout, then dig roots and grow into another of its kind, on another day.

Have you ever tried to wipe out the dandelions sprouting in your lawn?  Mowing them only chops them down for a day.  Their roots dig deeper and the stem replenishes and sprouts anew.  Words are hard to uproot, once sown.  Sometimes words cannot be retracted simply because someone writes a retraction in The New York Times.  Once written or spoken, words take on a life of their own. They are powerful enough to change the course of things.  And often the original author or speaker is powerless to change the action or reaction they first put in motion.

Declarations of war.  Orders to execute.  The judge's sentence.  The President's pardon.  Gossip.  Slander.  Innuendo.  Whispers of the unsubstantiated.  Such words produce actions and reactions which incite, provoke emotions, create anger--actions that harm, malign, destroy.  Yet, it is further written:

"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." Proverbs 14:29.

Much could be said about a person who is slow to anger.  He is one who takes time to evaluate words, decipher intent, confirm intent and motives of another's words.  He is one who doesn't go off half-cocked, ready to spout the first thing that comes to his own mind at the hearing or reading of another's words.  He is one who is self-controlled, is filled with the Spirit of God and prone to show mercy, exhibit generosity, forgiveness, tolerance, kindness.  He tends to speak with humility and patience.  Foremost, he desires peace between the brethren of Christ.  When he finally speaks, he brings with him reason, wisdom, logic, and grace.

The latter person--one with a hasty temper--in Solomon's view, is one who is not able to control his emotions.  He is one who spews and sputters whatever comes to mind.  He's one who lacks understanding and does not take time to weigh his own words; he judges quickly.  He often errs.  He does not use discernment.  He is blinded by the board in his own eyes as he seeks to remove the specs from another's.  Therefore, his haste brings about all kinds of folly--misinterpretations, mistakes, unseemliness, rudeness and impatience.  None of this is love.  It's but clanging cymbals.

What can one do then with words of regret, impulsiveness, and judgment?  What can one do with words of sarcasm, condescension, or rudeness?  Words most often in my mind would probably better be left unspoken.  Unfortunately for those in my 6-foot sphere of space, or access to my sphere, I have, at times, released the thoughts within my mind with a haste too quick to retrieve.  Other times, I've been blessed to hold my tongue.  To think through my words.  To measure my thoughts and how they can be construed or interpreted by another.

When words are too much, sometimes all we can do is say, "I am sorry.  Please forgive me." selahV

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (PART ONE)

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (Part One)

When words are not enough, they search the very soul of man to say a simple thing.  They may float around inside one's mind for days and still find nothing worthy to share with another.  To reassure.  To comfort.  To encourage.  To edify.  To right a wrong.  To wipe away the hurt inside another's heart--their shame, their discouragement, their loss.  Worthy and wise words seek a way to explain.  To protect.  To caution.  To mend.  To defend.  To make a point with grace.  There's a space within God's mind where all hearts can join with Him.  If we pause long enough in that space, and calmly wait for Him to speak, we find God's grace sufficient enough to give us words clear enough to voice I am sorry, ask forgiveness, and fill the gaps of a broken trust.  Indeed, to reason and reconcile.  It is written:

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" James 1:19.

Listening is of utmost importance to James.  Perhaps he knew this particular statement would alert the twelve tribes to pay greater attention to the message God had laid on his heart.  Perhaps he knew they would be prone to whine when they had problems.  He knew they'd succumb to pride.  He knew they would flit from faithful to faithless.  He knew they'd speak rashly, and quickly anger.  He knew they'd speak before they thought and judge before they reasoned.  "Swift to hear." Pause.  Think before we speak.  Listen to the heart, discern the spirit in which another speaks. Pray for wisdom before we respond.  Speak as we'd want to be spoken to.  Challenge, admonish and reprove as we would want to be challenged, admonished or reproved--as we'd want a stranger to treat our child.  Calmly think on these things.  selahV

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH (PART TWO)

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE, NOT WORDS (/link)