One morning my daughter asked my 4-year-old granddaughter if she'd eaten her breakfast. Rather than tell the whole truth, Kinsey showed her empty plate. Her mom knew something was not quite right and upon investigating, found part of Kinsey's breakfast in the trash. Busted! "Don't try to fool Mommy, like that again. You understand?" Kinsey thought if she didn't give all the facts, that the truth would not be revealed.
Ever give a half-answer to a question? I know a few folks like that. Rather than risk some unknown presumed reaction from a questioner, they give veiled responses. This kind of conversation does little to aid communication or strengthen a bond. It gives both parties only a portion of what another needs to determine how to develop relationships. They may not want to deceive anyone. They may just reply in a way that doesn't reveal anything hurtful, offensive, or "telling". They want to hide the whole truth. That is frustrating. Truth we can deal with. There is no substitute for truth. A half-truth lacks clarity and surrounding gaps are filled with guile, even if it isn't intentional.
A world bent on deceit thrives on withholding all pertinent information. Some contracts are written in teensey, tiny print so we miss critical stipulations. Others are so vaguely worded, they lead people away from the actual truth. "Trust me," famous last words. I cannot begin to tell you how many half-truthes fractured my life. Used cars, new cars, hidden costs, verbal agreements, favors, other purchases. Oh my. Then there are the baseless friendships and betrayals. Half-truth yields half-trust. Even if a person is unaware of our hidden truth; it still gives only a portion of the truth and keeps another in the dark.
In some cultures, the bride is never seen until after the marriage ceremony. I wonder if the man cares when the veil is removed. I wonder if the bride is anxious about her husband's reaction when, at last, the veil is lifted. I dare say, there is a lot of half-truths that follow them beyond the altar.
Such is true with any relationship we have where we hide behind a mask of insincerity, cloaked truth, half-answers, partial honesty. For relationships to thrive, truth must be at the center of them. Games are for those who do not want the truth. They want to hide behind a mask and pretend.
Ever worn a mask? Ever wondered why? Are you afraid of the consequences? The reaction others may have if they see the person you've been hiding? Is it your security blanket? a protective maneuver?
Risk it. Let go and take a risk. Risk what you don't have to gain what you may have. Refuse to accept veiled responses from those you seek to know better. Resolve not to give veiled responses in answer to anothers question.
