leave you with so much baggage...maybe it would be easier to get over. But each time I'm disappointed, I have this thing about remembering all the other stuff that's broken my heart and hurt me in life. Emotions are fragile things. Expectations are like rainbow colored bubbles. Wouldn't it be nice if when something or someone bursts your bubble, that all the expectations incased within it would be swept away...so there is no residue of disappointment?
People will always fall short. Life will always disappoint. Should I not have expectations? Should I not care? Should whatever happens be just hunky dory? Sometimes I think I must need to think that way so disappointment has no hold on me...no power to make me frustrated, sad or angry. Hmmmn. Just when I think I've learned to be content in whatsoever state I am in, God throws me a curve-ball. I need to take myself out of the equation. I need to think about this differently.
Seriously. When I consider those things which break my heart, upset my day, or burst my bubbles, it's all because I take my eyes off God. It's all because I look at anything temporal as more important than those things which are above.
It does make me wonder if God ever gets as disappointed with us as I get with stuff in my life. If so, He sure wouldn't feel very good right now. If I were to take all my disappointment of my nearly 63 years and pile it in the middle of the floor, it couldn't begin to touch the disappointment God must have stacked up from all the self-centered lives He has created since the beginning of time as we know it.
As much as my disappointment feels at this moment, and it is pretty weighty, how in the world does God carry the weight of His? Maybe, His was lifted up upon the cross as He hung in perfect sacrifice for the sin of all mankind. For in heaven there is no sorrow, no pain, no disappointment. That's all the more reason to remember when I set my sights on things above, I am assured there will be no more disappointment.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Temporal things have a way of crowding out eternal things of God. Perhaps He wants me to see the world a little less appealing, a little less satisfying. Otherwise, I may want these things with greater desire than Him...His glory...His purpose. Yes, I must guard my heart and mind...for if everything within my heart flows from it--my attitude, my witness, my example. I must guard what I trust, who I trust--my emotions must be guarded. If not, I'm going to be disappointed not just with life--but myself. selahV
