I wonder. Sometimes I look at my life and recall days when I was healthy, young, and so involved in every aspect of the church. I recall the laundry-mat conversations with strangers. I think of the joy in teaching children that Jesus was born and died and was resurrected. I remember the love of God and conversations I had with children who had lost a puppy, found a frog, were moving away--the fears, the joys, the sadness. I remember all-night camp experiences with youth, and teaching them how to love one another beyond themselves. I consider days when volleyball was an activity that stretched muscles out of place, but brought youth together to show how to love one another--despite the fact that not all were athletic. I remember teaching them to look to Jesus as their point of reference when making decisions that effect their lives--everything from who they dated, to which college they attended. I remember writing and directing dramas that exemplified the Life of Christ. I remember visiting, providing meals for the ill, comforting others during the loss of family members. But what about today?
As I have aged, I realize how little I actively, physically, live for God today. How little I do beyond the walls of my home. How few people I influence for Christ. It saddens me. I think about this writing thing I have going on. I know I am given this opportunity--but often find myself flailing about without direction. Am I writing for God or myself? Am I writing for God or others? Does what I have to say matter? Really? Not always. Yet, every single solitary thing my Lord did with His life on earth was ever mindful of His Father's will. Can I do less?
I'm studying 1 Peter 4 right now. I see how my emotional and physical sufferings are simply pinpricks of trial to glorify God. I know there are others in far worse shape than I. I am ashamed I even consider my own pain in light of what I witness in others. To speak of it seems like whining to me. I see how others are able to do much more than I.
May the Lord give them strength, boldness, and love to use their health, their youth, their gifts and talents in a way that glorify God? Let me see ways I may undergird them with whatever assistance I can to fulfill the will of God in their lives.
"Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God." 1 Peter 4:1-2.
