Think with me for a minute, okay? When you think about yourself and your accomplishments, do think you are worth about the same as a "Dum-dum" lollipop wrapper? Do you relate more to the butterscotch sweetness of the solid ball of sugar once blanketed by that paper wrapper? Or do you feel more like a tiny square of useless litter that belongs in the trash? I've often felt like the latter--the "litter". Basically, that comes from a lifetime of being told I was that "wrapper". This brings me to Number 5 of my little series on "Wrong Thinking that causes us problems".
DISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE: (DtP).
If you are afflicted with "DtP", you insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities "don't count". You discount any positive someone points out about you. You find it extremely difficult to accept compliments. You find it tremendously guilty accepting validation for anything you do.
I love my stepmother (hold that thought). She came to live at our house when I was five-and-a-half. When my father unloaded the U-haul (or whatever kind of truck it was), with all her belongings, her three-year-old and seventeen-year-old sons, I felt like we'd been invaded. The number one thing I remember being unloaded was a metal horse that moved up and down and rolled forward when you stood on the metal stirrups. Excitement bubbled up inside my heart as I moved toward it. With one fell swoop, my exuberance was slapped away when my new step-brother pushed me aside and was validated for doing so. "That's not yours, honey. That is Thomas's." That was the beginning of being told or shown that love, praise, and goodies belonged to her youngest son--not me.
I tell you that little story, not for sympathy. No, I tell you to shed a glimpse of understanding into what caused a rather timid child, who'd been abandoned by her birth mother at age 3, to grow up with low self-esteem. Abandonment coupled with favoritism for another--neglect coupled with verbal abuse, can warp the mind of a child and cause them to grow up thinking they "don't count". But still, I loved my stepmother. I came to understand her mental illness that went untreated and undiagnosed for her lifetime. I also came to realize that what she was, and how she treated me, did not determine my ability or my worth.
The joy in discovering that God loved me and sent His Son to die for me, long before I was ever born, exploded within my heart with an intensity that I cannot begin to express with words equal to its splendor. Growing in Christ showed me more and more of the mystery of God's love, the sovereignty of His love, the abundance of His love, and the watchcare of His love, the provision of His love, the mercy of His love, the forgiveness in His love and the acceptance of His love.
There are many times since I learned these things that I have wrestled with the DtP thinking. I have fallen prey to the evil one who has nothing good to say about me. I have listened to his accusations (and sometimes truly believed them), that I do anything I do, not because I love my Savior and Lord, but because I want the praise of man. The hardest battle to fight is this one--especially when, along with the negative whisperings of Satan, I audibly hear the voices of people who agree with the Accuser of accusers.
However...
God is faithful. He forever reminds me I am His child. I belong to Him. I am an heir. I own, through the riches of Christ's glory, my Creator's approval through the blood of Christ which took all my sin away, and blanketed me with His grace.
I often wonder what good my writing does. I often wonder if what I do makes any difference at all in the kingdom to encourage, edify or bring glory to my Lord. Every now and then God sends me a visible, tangible validation that what I am doing matters to Him and to others. It's kind of like getting that "smiley face" on your English essay. God does that for us, not to puff us up, but to validate us, and to encourage us to keep doing what we are doing, despite the odds against us, despite the whispers of the evil one.
Just yesterday, a precious gal from India--a Hindu transformed by the blood and life of Jesus, "facebooked" me and told me she'd been blessed by some of my devotionals. She wanted to "friend" me. What a blessing! What an honor! But the greater blessing is that the Lord allows me to now pray for her family to come to Christ, too. Blessedly for her, her family did not cause her problems with her conversion. Folks, that is amazing. Many missionaries have been killed for sharing the gospel in India. Pastors have had their churches torched, and watched their families and members of their churches slaughtered for daring to profess Christ as Lord. My new friend reaffirmed something for me yesterday and today.
I am not a wrapper. Neither are you. God is working all things together for good to those who are called according to His purpose. Give your life to Him. Let Him show you the sweetness He can bring forth from your yielded life. Don't let Satan, or anyone else, discount your value in this world. selahV
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