Ever jump to a conclusion? Ever think you know the motives in another's heart? Do you find yourself thinking the worst of another?
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:
This (JtC) can be quite problematic. (Mind Readers: We assume people are reacting negatively toward us even when there is not indication of that. Fortune Tellers: We arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly).
Okay, been there, done that. Don't like doing that, don't like folks who think they know who I am and what I am by some snippet I've written or said, or someone else has told them about me. Don't find it fun to be followed around blogland and have every single thing I say in a comment stream, undermined, attacked, and belittled. I have a boatload of emails from one said person, who has finally stopped doing that with me. Blessed I am, I tell you.
How did I manage to shed myself of someone who continually "jumped to a negative conclusion" about me? I stopped addressing them. I also stayed clear of the areas where this person might show up in blogland. Worked well for me. Ignoring such lily-pad jumpers in the midst of streams is a good way to deal with this "problematic" kind of thinking.
I have a few people I know whose names cannot be typed out in a stream with other bloggers attaching a presupposed opinion of what the writer is "really thinking, saying, or speculating". It can be wearing on one's self-control button. If you understand what I am saying here, then you also have an idea of the difficulty one has in graciously responding to them.
What do you do if you live with someone who has this kind of thinking?
"JtC" thinking often brings out the worst in individuals. If you say something, or do something without one iota of ulterior motive, and someone jumps to the conclusion that you mean something you didn't mean, or are "really" saying something you aren't saying, it can squash the "kind" right out of your kindness, and the "gentle" right out of your gentleness. It can flatten your normally gracious spirit so low, you respond in the same manner in which you are addressed, rather than in the fullness of the Spirit residing inside your heart. (It's not okay, but it is part of living in a fallen world.) Praise the Lord that He loves you anyway, even if others wag their judgmental finger of hypocrisy in your face as their three fingers point back at themselves. Problematic thinking. Let it go. If you are a recipient of this kind of nonsensical, negative thinking from another, you must hold your head up high, look unto the hills from whence cometh your help, and walk on in faith.
Faith? Yes. Faith in your Lord who knows your heart. Faith in yourself, because we are prone to allow fingers in our face to strike a match of ire that quickly burns out of control. When you don't understand, trust God.
When a person jumps to conclusions believing the absolute worst of another, without a shred of knowledge, or evidence, that they are correct, then you must not engage them in kind. It's a futile thing. Folks like this usually have a trust issue; they are unable to trust others as genuine, or real. Somewhere in their lifetime, they've been burned--betrayed, hurt deeply. Have mercy upon them.
What if it's you who habitually jumps to conclusions? Think long and hard about why you seem prone to this kind of thinking. Examine yourself by asking God to show you if there is some area of your life where trust was broken. Where betrayal hit you from out of the blue. Forgive them. Unforgiveness chains you to the situation that once hurt you. Forgiveness is the key to the lock that keeps you chained to negativity and distrust. Try to follow Paul's instructions to "dwell on that which is pure". Practice giving others the benefit of the doubt. "Think of others as better than yourself." Pray for purer thinking.
It's not easy to do these things when another smears your thoughts, twists your words, impugns your character, or questions your integrity. But those occasions are so few and far between to the vast majority of us. "Put on the whole armor of God"--lean on Him to shield you and give you power to bring glory to His name. selahV
