SelahV Today by hariette petersen

LESSONS OF LOSS

With tears of empathy for the family who loses a loved-one, I write:

The excruciating pain you feel today is beyond explanation.  To say you "will feel better in time" is like adding salt to an open wound.  Time?  What is time?  It is now.  Now is the only time you know.  This moment seems like an eternity.  You ask, "Can I survive it?"  It feels as though you won't.  Even after your loved one has been lain to rest, your heart feels as though it may explode with the agony filling the void within you.

My heart cries out for God's unfailing mercy and grace to be upon you in your grief.  You will need His comfort to sustain you to simply breathe...to take another step...to drink and eat with normalcy.  For what are those things in this, so seemingly senseless loss?  Normal no longer exists.  It's gone.  Few who have loved deeply and lost can feel anything but the void of the loss.  Loss sucks the life out of you; it drains you.

There is a quiet place in the heart of God to rest for those who suffer much in this life. And only those who suffer much find entrance to that room in God's heart. It is the way of things. I would not seek to give anyone that key. But God in His infinite wisdom and grace, knows who best can benefit from the resting place and offer comfort to others from the strength and comfort they gain in that room.
 
I learned since my son's death, that many of his prayers have been fulfilled. I've watched as God worked and works in the hearts of those my son loved and cared for. I've found a peace in God only He could impart. I wish that I hadn't had to learn so many of life lessons as a result of my son's death. I wish my son could be here to see the breadth of my growth, the depth my trust, the abundance of joy in his children. But that was not in God's plan.

I do not understand if my son died to bring about these things or if my son's dying brought about the things that would have eventually happened.  I struggled with those whys for years. Today I am able to simply rest in God's sovereignty and know He brought my son home for His reasons and mine is not to wonder why any longer.

God bless you if you are suffering today.  God bless you if you find yourself inside that room and have no idea why you've entered.  My sincere love goes out to you.  selahV

DO "SOMETHING VISIBLE"

We do things every day.  Today I ate, I drank coffee, I wrote a couple of posts for my blogs.  I twittered.  Toyed with my "paint" program.  And went shopping for an outfit to wear to a wedding next week.  I was really friendly with everyone I ran into at the store.  Later tonite my grand-daughters are coming for their very first sleepover at Grama's house.  This will be so exciting for everyone.  But truly.  So far today, I didn't do much worth writing about.  Especially in light of hearing this song on my way home from shopping.  How about you?  What did you do today?

WHO WILL REACH THEM?

I read an interesting tidbit from One News:

"A new report finds that American adults who claim no religious affiliation increased from 14 million in 1990 to 34 million in 2008.

The new profile of America's "No Religion Population" takes a deeper look at data collected for the American Religious Identification Survey 2008, which was released by Trinity College.  The new report says those who don't claim any religious affiliation are more likely to be male, young, living in the West and politically independent.

It says most of the religiously unaffiliated in the U.S. are not atheists, but "embrace philosophical and theological beliefs that reflect skepticism rather than overt antagonism toward religion."

So where are these young American men?  Note that the report didn't give a race but a geographical location.  They live in the "West".  I can venture a guess that the West is like Nevada, Idaho, Montana, Colorado, California, Washington, Oregon, New Mexico and places like the Dakotas.  But where do they congregate?  Starbucks?  College campuses?  The internet--Facebook and Twitter?

Why are they skeptical?  Could it be linked to inconsistent lifestyles of Christians?  Could it be inadequate preaching?  Could it be their search for relevance in a post-modern society? What do you think?  Who can reach them?  The pastor who is just as theologically inquisitive and argumentative over religious matters?  The young women who are being raised to love their husbands and stand by their man, or the ones who follow the way of The View and Oprah?  The grandma and grandpa who still love Jesus and see His awesome grace permeate every portion of their life?  Me?  You?  I wonder.  I pray.

May the Lord of the harvest bring forth more laborers.  May hearts be united in prayer to lift high the banner of Christ...to uncover their lights so dimly burning beneath the baskets of faithless living.  May salt not lose its flavor and be thrown to the ground leading to paths in destructive self-saturation, success and self-aggrandizing.  May God raise up someone to stand in the gap and point to The Way, The Truth and The Life before skepticism gives way to antagonism and rejection.  selahV  

PASSIONS VERSUS PASSION

I read my friend Vicki's post in my reader today.  This lady makes so much sense.  She's a breath of fresh air.

I remember when I had my newspaper that I loved writing positive stories about things people did in the community.  My paper focused on family, faith, community and country (and, occasionally, apple pie).  Over time, several organizations (good ones mind you), all wanted coverage.  I found myself trying to champion their causes and ended up having difficulty writing the kind of stories from which my paper had become "known".   As a one-woman-publisher-editor-writer-in-chief, I couldn't keep up with the advertisement needs, the stories, and the demands from cause-oriented organizations.  My passion submitted to the passions of others.

As Vicki describes in her post, we can do this with our faith.  We can get so bogged down with all the "right" and righteous causes in life that we lose our focus (Oh how guilty I am of that).  We can so easily be caught up in the winds of politics, the breezes of community involvement and world causes, that our passion for Jesus wanes.

We can become so engrossed in counseling couples in troubled marriages, dissecting their problems, that we fail to point them to the Problem Solver--Christ himself.  We can allow the couple, the friend, the family member, to become dependent upon us and our answers rather than Jesus.

We can be so consumed by the injustice, cruelty and sin in the world, that we fight battles with rules and legislation, petitions and marches, then fail to remember the victory has been won.  The real war is within each and every soul.  We can be so enamored with the plight of man, we miss opportunities to share the peace of Christ.  We can be so involved in the battles of others, we forget to put on the whole armor of God ourselves.  We can be so enamored with the sound of our own voice, opinion and belief that we cannot hear His voice, seek His truth, or trust in His precepts.  We listen to the strategies of man.  We follow men, rather than Jesus.  No wonder we get disappointed and discouraged.  No wonder we get weary.  "Apart from God we can do nothing."  Yet we think we must be strong in our own strength, and certain in our own intellect.  We get ideas and do not take time to discern the origin of those ideas.  Are they really from God?

We can debate points.  We can argue.  And we can strive.  But until we rest in Jesus and allow His Spirit to flow through ours, we achieve nothing.  Our work is in vain--and often becomes vainglorious.  And our passion loses its fuel, its power--Jesus Christ.  When we see discord, strife, deceit and confusion--we know Christ is not present.  We know this because God is not the author of confusion.  God does not lie.  And all my busyness should magnify Him--not me.  Not some organization or "cause".  Often we reverse the order which creates disorder.  Christ doesn't magnify the organization, the cause or us.  He magnifies Himself through us and in us as we seek His face and focus our attention upon Him.

May we all seek the fullness of His Spirit and wallow in His glory each new day.  selahV

[Visit my friend Victoria Gaines at WINDOWS TO MY SOUL.  She's a precious woman of God who seeks Him in all she is and all she writes.]

DON'T IT JUST AMAZE YOU WHEN GOD SHOWS UP AND...

MANIFESTS HIMSELF IN YOUR LIFE?

Whew--ee!  The power of the Lord and His Spirit blows my mind.  I'm driving back from Texas today and my 5-year-old granddaughter is preaching to me from the back seat.  "Keep my commandments, and follow them. I am the Lord.  Leviticus 22:31."

HayJae and I had talked all the way back from visiting her two cousins.  We'd discussed all kinds of things.  What to buy her little sister for her birthday this weekend.  What she wanted for her own birthday next July.  How many days till Fall began.  How many days would Fall have.  How many days did Winter have.  How many days did Spring have.  What we'd do the next time we went to visit her cousins in Texas.  What we'd do when they came to visit us.  Could we go back tomorrow?  The car was dark.  Every now and then the sky would light up and she asked why it did that.  I shared the way lightning works.  How thunder rolls.  How God controlled it all.

Earlier that evening she sang a Fruit of the Spirit song she'd learned in church.  She had no qualms about the fact we were in the middle of IHOP restaurant.  She shared with her cousins about how Jesus got mad in the Temple and turned over the tables.  She explained to her cousins how Jesus died on the cross to take away all our sins.  And people who didn't love Him would go to Hades.  And when they went to Hades they'd burn in the fires.  (Fortunately for her cousins, they're both Christians.)  She talked about her little pink Bible and how her brother Jordy wouldn't let her use his.  "I'll have to use Mommy's."  She explained to them how Jesus went to the Temple, but we go to church...but they are the same thing.  It filled my spirit with joy unspeakable to listen to her.  I can't explain it.  THEN...we're almost home and she begins reciting scripture.    

I have no idea how many times she said that before it knocked me upside the head.  But finally I heard her.  "What are you saying, HayJae?"

"Keep my commandments, and follow them.  I am the Lord.  Leviticus 22:31"  She repeated it.  I tried to say it.  And I got it wrong.  She said, "No, Grama.  You've got to practice." She took her time and repeated:  "Keep my commandments."  She waited for me to repeat it.  I did.  "Follow them."  She waited again.  I repeated it.  "I am the Lord."  I repeated that.  "Leviticus 22:31"  I reversed the numbers.  "No, Grama.  Try again.  Levitcus 22:31"

I repeated the verse until I finally said it.  "You've got it!  Now keep practicing, Grama."  Again and again we repeated it.  But I knew it would take some time for me to truly have it memorized.  I'm really slow at that.  Yet, it was such an encouragement.  My heart filled up with incredible peace.  The world is good.  Life is good.

So much in life today is disturbing--so black--so full of sin and cruelty.  But somehow in the darkness of my Chevy Malibu, life took on freshness and Light.     

Now, folks...you tell me.  Is that not the dearest thing?  Five years old.  Teaching her grama.  Think God might be using this child?  I do.  Do you think she knows it?  I doubt it.  selahV

["And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: Acts 2:17]  

MAKING UP FOR YESTERDAY

If you read my post yesterday, [here] you know that my husband said that our pastor said I should get up and cook a big breakfast and prepare a yummy lunch for him [hub] to take to work.  Hubby was kidding of course.  Yesterday I was sick.  He got leftover chicken soup for lunch. 

This a.m. I got up at 6:15 and beat him to the coffee pot.  However...our pot is broken.  All I managed to do before he popped out of the bedroom was to put the teapot on to boil the water.  He took over from there, pouring the boiling water slowly into the coffee-filled filter till the pot filled up.  What can I say?  He's a bit pushy when it comes to taking care of me.  He loves to do things for me.  It's the way he expresses his love--acts of service.

Me, on the otherhand, I am the verbal affirmation person.  I tell him how much I love him and praise him all the time, in private and in public.

We've learned that the way we express love to one another is also what seems to be the "love language" we find most appealing when we're on the receiving end.  Even so, I've learned not to hold my breath for all the compliments and flowery phrases; he doesn't hold his breath waiting for me to polish his boots.  Yet we deeply appreciate the way the other says "I love you."  It doesn't mean I shouldn't do more, or he shouldn't tell more.  But after being with one another over 44 years, we are happy.  We're comfortable in our relationship.  It works for us.

Today, he's gone to work--he's making available the cash-flow for us.  I'm not even gonna be here when he gets home tonite.  I'm going to Texas to see our granddaughters and take them out to eat.  So, I can't make up for yesterday with a big supper for him today.  He's quite self-sufficient.  He'll heat up some hotdogs and pork'n'beans.  However, I made him chocolate oatmeal cookies this morning to eat while watching his Monday night football game.  He'll be tickled pink.  Tomorrow I'll make up for today.  I'm feeling his love just thinking about the casserole he likes best.

How 'bout you?  What makes you feel the love of others?  Words?  Actions?  Gifts?  Quality time?   selahV   

ONE DANGEROUS THING LEADS TO ANOTHER

1.) So I skipped church today.  Hubby is now quoting the sermon to me... (LINK).

2.) I ignored technology and Twitter.  Led to someone taking my moniker to sign up for Twitter and that kinda bugs me.  I had to sign up under SelahV Today instead of SelahV.

3.) I already have some followers on my new Twitter.  Leads to anxiety of not being able to speaking in short sentences--not my strong suit. 

4.) Procrastination:  Leads to a toddler wetting her pants and me not getting my newspaper column ready...which leads to stinky writing sometimes.   

5.) An ill-written Bill (HR-3200):  Leads to higher taxes, fines, and cloaked provisions for public financing of abortion.

6.) Dis-interested citizens:  Lead to Health Care bills being passed with camoflauged public options, unfunded mandates to states and businesses, higher taxes, and inflation.

7.) Apathetic Christians:  lead to lost souls missing the abundant life in Jesus and eternal life in heaven.  

What dangerous things have you noticed lately that lead to another?  selahV

CAN'T FORGET

I can't forget.  God won't let me.  I didn't know him.  But the moment I read this month about this young pastor's tragic death on AOL, I published a post asking folks to remember his wife Abby and their unborn child.  At the time of my post, I didn't know all the details of the situation that led to his death and which appeared to be a drug sting gone horribly bad.  From what I could tell from the video showing him being confronted by two men brandishing guns, I couldn't believe her husband was wrong in trying to get away from that scene as soon as possible.  Especially when I read his website.

He loved Jesus.  His number one goal in life was to let his entire town know about Jesus and the eternal life He offers.  Ironically, this horrible "mistake" by police officers may have provided that opportunity.  Nevertheless, my heart aches for his wife, their unborn baby, and their church who need our prayers.

Jonathan Paul Ayers, pastored Shoal Creek Baptist Church in Lavonia, Georgia.  His young wife was 16 weeks pregnant at the time he was killed.  A young pastor...who'd led several people to Jesus in the last year of his life at Shoal Creek, is gone from this earth to meet his Savior and Lord.  I have been trying to keep up with what happened in this case.  I'm so surprised that the news media has not brought more attention to it.

Abby has written two very poignant posts at her husband's website NEW BEGINNINGS--one about how she misses him, another announcing her baby is going to be a boy.  Please go by and read them and pray for her.  selahV

[From an updated post I read on the internet, this young man asked the paramedics who attended him before he died, if they knew who shot him.  This is all I can find on this situation.] 

WHAT MORE CAN I DO?

Sometimes I have no clue what more I can do.  I want to fix a situation.  I can't.  I want to change--but I cannot.  I long to make things better.  It gets worse.  I want to know what more I can do.  I feel as though I disappoint more than I please.  I pray more.  Yet, the struggle to take the next step seems so difficult.  To breathe takes so much effort.

My heart cries, "Higher; climb higher.  See?  The crest is just a bit higher."

My mind whispers, "Don't grow weary."

My body screams, "I can't go on."

And then the Spirit within me calls, "Come.  Come here and rest."  But even rest is hard.  It's hard to sit still when so much needs doing...so much needs fixing...so many need encouraging.  Then I remember.  I am a branch, I'm not the roots in search of sustaining power.  I am not the Vine--the strength, the support.  I am merely a branch.  I do not even hold on to the Vine.  It holds me.  And from the Vine flows sustaining life to produce the fruit the Vine so desires.  I have nothing more to do than to dwell in Him.  selahV

WHY I AM WRITING ABOUT HEALTH CARE REFORM SO MUCH

I am a product of stupidity.  I am a product of mis-information.  I am a product of having no clue what Medicare was, or what it would cover in the event my husband became ill.  I am a product of having no clue about what it meant to have or not have supplemental insurance.  I am a product of thinking VA would take care of all my husband's needs in addition to the Medicare we paid into all these years and also what we now have deducted from our Social Security check.  (It is not free, friends.)

I am a product of not caring about the warnings.  I was so overcome with how to pay the thousands of dollars in bills from my husband's heart surgery at age 64 before the Medicare was even an option, that I could not understand all the calls coming in from insurance telemarketers I had never called.  How did they get our phone number?  Who are all these people?  I am guilty of putting them off and not talking to them all.  We received on the average of twelve calls a day about this situation before and after my husband turned 65.  We listened to some and they never made it clear what they were trying to sell us or why it was so important that we listen and decide on a plan.  I have no clue what a plan would have cost us each month.  I'm guessing between $150 to $300 a month for just my husband's supplement.  We can't get an insurance policy now for my husband.  He's got that nasty little pre-existing condition called heart disease that we didn't know about eight months before he became eligible for supplemental insurance (that we didn't understand nor could we have paid for at the time, anyway).

So here I am...trying to help others realize how little the government's systems do for you.  How little they care about monitoring thyroid disease, heart conditions, high PSA scores, etc.  I'm trying to share the importance of how pro-active we must be in understanding what they (the government) are trying to do to us for the future...How important it is that you understand.  No, you aren't all seniors.  But someone you know and love is.  And no, not everyone will be stupid like me.

How much do you know about Medicare and what it will do for you?  How much will the 500 plus billion-dollar cuts in Medicare affect you when you turn 65?  What does our President consider wasteful?  How much will you have to pay for supplemental insurance to ensure you can get a life-saving treatment should you be broadsided by a castastrophe such as prostate cancer, leukemia, breast cancer or heart disease?  Folks, it sounds like you need to start burying some gold in your backyard alongside your poodle's soupbone.

Or, you can be like me.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and...Fear not..."  selahV

WE HAVE THIS IN COMMON...

September 11, 2001.  9-11.  Tragedy.  Grief.  Memories.  Today is for remembering.  Shall we?  Shall we teach our children and grandchildren that in that horrific day, while fear gripped our hearts and shock filled our minds, that we determined not to let it control us?  Will we remind our children that courage faces fear head-on?  Will we remind them of the unity of Americans that came from the belly of destruction?  Will we teach our children to pray for our nation?  Our military?  Our civil servants--policemen, firemen, EMTs, nurses and doctors who are often first responders to a crisis we face?

Will we teach them that not all people love God--not all know Jesus--and we need to pray for our missionaries to reach the world?  Will we teach them to pray for us so we can be better witnesses as we go about our daily life?

We have a lot in common...and we must remember that "what unites us is stronger than what divides."  Prayer.  Faith.  Jesus.

INTERESTED IN HEALTH CARE DEBATE?

More meat worth chewing on in this congressman's few minutes than many politicians say in their entire careers.  This former FBI man doesn't mince words.

PRAYER REQUEST...#1

Some people like me sit in America with my nice little house, watching my nice big flatscreen television.  Although the water coming out of my faucet tastes like Clorox these days because of drought in Oklahoma, it works fine for showers.  I have access to great health-care (today).  I have all my family around me for the most part.  I have a wonderful church with a great fellowship of friends.  I don't live in a strange country with strange customs, or strange languages.  Not so, for the missionaries in Brazil.  While they travel throughout that country, their daily struggle is not with what kind of cereal to buy at the grocery aisles ladened with choices.  They struggle with dialects, cultural differences and loneliness.  They've left everything behind for Christ.  They depend on us to pray for them.

I just received an email from the Hamiltons who recently went to Brazil.  On her website is a list of 30 prayer requests.  I thought it might be a good idea to post one each day for you to pray for on their behalf.  For those of you who'd like to have the whole list right off the bat, you can visit HAMILTONS IN BRAZIL.  selahV

FIRST REQUEST:  (this is actually the 5th request on Kerri's list of 30.  But I wanted you to see her family's first)

"5. Pray for Robert and Kerri Hamilton and their children Katharine, Joseph, Elizabeth, and Samuel as they prepare to begin the work to reach the Italians in Rio Grande do Sul. They are presently studying the language and culture of Brazil in Riberão Preto. They will finish their course there in December and be moving to the mountain region of the state. Pray for them to continue to have a strong walk with the Lord and be given the insight into bringing down the barriers that have limited the response to the Gospel by this people group."

WORTHLESS WORDS...

Some of you may remember when I wrote a devotional every single day.  Some folks still log on and read Daily Impact.  Tonight I was browsing through my old posts and one reached out and struck me in the heart.  When I read through that post...the passage from Isaiah seared my soul and quickened my spirit.  I questioned the value of what I write.  I questioned the "impact" my words have on a "daily" basis.  I thought of how lazy I've been in writing what God lays on my heart from His Word...how much more I need to be an ambassador for Christ in all I say.  Otherwise, all I post is really worthless words.  selahV

WITHOUT WEARINESS

Packed schedules.  Demands of others.  Everyday mundane matters.  Illness.  They can take a toll on the human body, mind and spirit.  A good night's rest can do a lot.  So can a vacation.  But the ministering servant of God needs more.  A servant of God is continually being spent--using up energy, resources and strength for others.

Apostle Paul said, "...I labor [unto weariness], striving with all the superhuman energy which He so mightily enkindles and works within me."  (Col. 1:29)  Even Paul labored unto weariness, and he knew full well from Where his strength came.

How much more I need the power that only God can give.  I so covet the prayers of God's people.  When I consider the little I do, and the little I am able to do, I realize afresh how much more I must pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ who labor tirelessly in His name.  Paul knew this when he wrote to the Colossians after Epaphras reported the news of their faith.  He wrote:

"[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forebearance) with joy.  Giving thanks to the Father, Who has qualified and made us fit to share the portion which is the inheritance of the saints in the Light." Colossians 1:11-12.

I find it is easier to relate to the weariness of others when I am in need of refreshment.  I find it expedient to pray for the well-being of others when I am sick and without strength to go on another hour.  I do pray you find joy in all your labor today.  I pray God invigorates you and empowers you to endure the attacks of evil you face.  I pray you are able to pace yourself in the race you have before you.  May you sense God's presence and see evidence of Him manifested in all you do today.  May His grace be sufficient and meet the need of your heartache and void this very hour.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]      

PRESIDENT THINKS CONSTITUTION IS FLAWED

I always had a great respect for the Constitution of the United States.  I especially like the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence.  Of course, that may be because I studied about them as a child and was taught to respect the founders of our country and stuff like the Pledge of Alliegiance, The American Flag, The National Anthem, and The Ten Commandments.  What amazes me at this moment is that we have a president who thinks that he needs to fundamentally transform the United States, and that our Constitution is flawed.  He thinks the "framers" of the Constitution had an enormous "blind spot" that carries on to this day.  How can he have meant what he said when he took the oath of office to uphold the Constitution if he thinks it is flawed?  And he now wants to speak to the children in classrooms around America and have kids share how they can "help" Obama?  I think the only thing flawed is our President's views of America.  That's what I think.

I'D RUN TOO

A young pastor, Jonathan Paul Ayers, was killed this week by drug enforcement agents dressed in plainclothes.  Allegedly the young 28 year-old Baptist pastor from Lavonia, Georgia had just dropped off a lady at the convenience store.  She was allegedly under investigation for cocaine dealing.  Pastor Ayers wasn't under suspicion of anything.  Don't know about the validity of the situation, but do know after I watched the video of the incident, I don't see how I would have done much differently than the pastor if I'd been accosted by two men with guns at a gas station.  I think, had I seen two strange men coming at my car with guns drawn, I'd have gunned my gas pedal and run too.

This is the account by ABPnews.

Please pray for this young pastor's wife, Abby Ayers, please remember her name.  She is 16 weeks into her pregnancy with their first child--a child who will never know his/her daddy.

[UPDATE...by the account and by the video, this is a drug-sting gone horribly wrong.  I'd only seen the video and the AOL account of the story when I posted this.  Then I read the story from Baptist Press.  Pastor Ayers will be sorely missed by his congregation.  The community has lost a man who wanted to love them and share Jesus with them all.  Please pray for Lavonia, Georgia in this terrible time.  May God touch this community with an outpouring of His Spirit].

TESTING IT ALL...by SelahV

Some things just don't pass the smell test.  You know the minute a suggestion is made...within seconds of hearing someone's opinion or commentary.  You quickly know what is good and what isn't.

Many things don't have to be tested.  The Word of God is clear on many issues.  And what is not directly written in black and white can be determined by the principles of God's word.  My husband once told the youth in our church that "what they never do, they never have to ask forgiveness for."  A friend of mine once told me, "When in doubt leave it out."

There are so many folks condoning so many things these days.  Ministers disagree with ministers.  Fewer and fewer people preach purity and holiness.  Fewer teach to present ourselves as living sacrifices or consecrate ourselves to live lives "without wax" [in sincerity and truth].    

What about you?  Do you test the words you hear from others?  Do you take what a person says as truth simply because you know them or you think you know them?  Or do you search the scriptures and pray, study and test "all things"? Do you seek godly counselors?   selahV