To be sure, as ministers [or even Christians in secular work], we can often have a myopic view when it comes to the thing that claims the greatest amount of our time. We not only see ministry as "doing" what God has called us to do, but also His provision by which we supply our family's needs. Recognizing the weight of responsibility a minister feels for not only his family but the flock the Lord has given him to tend, he can be overwhelmed with the details of carrying out his responsibilities. It's not easy to balance time between family and ministry obligations, especially if the minister has the gift of servanthood. All too often he will find himself giving of himself so intensely that he fails to even recognize the needs of his family. And the family, in an attempt to share him because he is called of God is torn. They have difficulty dealing with their need to have him with them and knowing that he is "serving" God. Who wouldn't want to set themselves aside for so noble a calling? What child wouldn't feel selfish to expect him to attend their ball-game when Dad needs to be with church members going through a family crisis?
Pitfalls begin when the balance weighs heavier on one side than the other. When this happens, we can find ourselves dealing with underlying feelings of resentment. The minister resents the position he finds himself in due to the demands of his church and the needs of his family. The wife or children resents the church for demanding so much of their minister that all they get is leftovers. If allowed to build, this resentment turns upward towards God because, after all, He is the one Who has called the minister to what he is doing.
Other pitfalls:
~~When a pastor is a micro-manager of every detail and cannot find the humility to relinquish tasks, to delegate to others to make more time available.
~~When lack of time (due to micro-managing every detail of church work), robs him of quality personal devotion time, and sermon preparation time.
~~When poor time management makes it difficult to schedule vacations or family time off.
~~When the pastor allows his church to abuse his schedule and interrupt his plans for anything they choose. (One pastor always took the phone off the hook during dinner.)
~~When a pastor allows members to dictate what role his wife has in the church rather than God.
~~When a pastor feels it is necessary to know everything. (One pastor shares: I have absolutely nothing to do with the handling of the money. As pastor, I serve as an ex officio member of the finance committee. I do not count offerings, handle deposits, write checks, etc. I always provide full accountability for any budgeted funds I may spend in the way of supplies, travel expenses, etc. I do not know what each church member gives.)
~~Fails to keep a confidence, or shares complaints about members with one particular member in the church. (One minister shares, "I am as transparent as possible with the people in my church as well as my peers in the ministry. But I do not go from meeting to meeting sharing all the details of every problem, slight I may have with a member. Some areas of my life are intensely personal, but for the most part I don't exclude others from my life in general.)
~~Fails to recognize limitations. (There are some things I cannot do. I refer membership to professionals for counseling in finances or psychology when it is clear that their problems are beyond my scope of expertise or Spiritual gifts.)
~~Minor on the details...some details should not be ignored. (I try to maintain integrity with people. I try to be punctual with appointments, return phone calls, etc. I strive to present ideas, agendas and plans within the established framework of the church's polity.)
Other suggestions offered:
~~Christians maintain a spirit of reconciliation at all times (remember that our spouses only choice was to marry a sinner too), likewise--our churches' only choice is to call a sinner, too.
~~Keep a reality check on expectations of yourself, your church, your family and community. (Some things need time to pursue or implement...be patient; allow God to work in His time.) Resentment often arises from unmet expectations.
~~As for God, expect He will act with surprising, and sometimes confusing,
sovereignty. Usually we will not understand His ways. Guard yourself from discouragement because things don't go your way.
~~As for detecting spots of vulnerability. Christians need to consider
everything a vulnerable spot. Never believe you are strong in any area of holiness. 1 Cor. 10:12. Warning signs of impending struggle include anxiety, self-pity (I deserve more
than I am receiving), harshness, anger. Temptation to blame others.
Ministry for Christ is always met with trials, tribulations and attacks. Always. That is Satan's job to impede, curtail, confound, confuse and destroy the forward motion of any Christian progress. His job is to create an atmosphere of discouragement, fear, and weariness. It is vital for ministers to understand that any church they serve will have problems and face problems. But God is in the details and "faithful is He Who has called you Who will also do it." There is nothing God is calling you to do that He will not provide a way for it to be accomplished. Remember, not all ministries within the church are necessary...and any ministry that is necessary, God will provide a person to lead it and the means by which to do so. It's not all on your shoulders...let go and let God. Practice what you preach and trust God...He is trustworthy. And when ministry seems overwhelming and you wonder why you are doing what you are doing, remember He is worthy. Very worthy, indeed. selahV
