As ministers of the Gospel, and as Christians, we do not simply guard ourselves from sin and the results of sin's destruction. We guard our flock, and the other parties who may be involved with our sin. If we follow the evil desires within us, they naturally affect more than us. We do "hurt" someone other than "ourselves". We can cause others to stumble when we do not resist the devil and flee. We have absolutely no idea how our sin influences others who are watching--new converts, people who may be under conviction, people in our congregation. So perhaps we should begin this post with "It's not about me." Abstain from even the appearance of wrong doing.
Several folks contributed to the following Safeguards against temptation's lure and snares. I was not surprised to see duplicates in addressing safeguards as I garnered the input. Some were very similar, though not worded exactly the same. I thought about which to list first, but I think in this case the first will be last so we recognize that it should, indeed, be first. To begin, I need to list another Warning. I purposefully left this one out yesterday to see if anyone would pick up on it from my previous post. The greatest warnings we could ever have are given to us in Scripture. Over and over we are warned what to avoid and what to include in our lives to avoid sin. These warnings we have in the Word are for our benefit, our betterment--to ensure a life of abundance and longevity. The warnings are not there to make us miserable; they're there to make us blessed of God.
1...It is imperative that we memorize Scripture. And it is imperative that we read God's Word regularly. There is power in the Word of God and the Holy Spirit uses it to help us fight off our adversaries--the powers of darkness, the realms of evil. With Scripture we recognize our need for Christ every minute of the day. We realize we cannot do battle without Him in our lives. We are completely dependent upon Him.
2...Always be mindful that it could happen to you. Please don't assume it only happens to others. There's a reason Scripture warns us. It warns us because we need warning. "Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall [into sin]." 1 Cor.10:12
3...Be as visible as possible in all situations with a person with the opposite sex. Leave doors ajar when counseling, blinds open, and make sure someone is within close proximity to you. Counsel with your wife present. Wives counsel with your husband present. Refer sexual counseling to professionals. Give articles and books to those who need counseling in this area.
4...Be prepared for conversations to go where you do not want them to go. Be ready to interrupt with a suggestion that they bring in their spouse. Have scripture prepared to offer them to read.
5...Remain unemotional. Empathetic but not sympathetic. If alone, never fall into a trap of consoling with hugs or touching. When another's emotions are vulnerable, the situation is more vulnerable to be misconstrued. Men do not visit women alone. Women do not visit men alone. Do not ride with another alone. Do not meet for lunch alone. Take a deacon with you...(there may be another reason Jesus sent disciples out two by two). Do not engage in sensual sexual discussions. Do not joke about these things.
6...Do not keep secrets. Give each other your passwords to email accounts, Facebook, Voicemail, banking accounts, computer access. When you receive emails from another gender, share them with your spouse. Quickly confront any and all unseemly advances by another with your spouse by your side. One minister even gives his wife full access to personal correspondence, "She has the keys to the church and can get into my office any time she wishes. I have no privacy from [my wife], and that is important, I think. It gives my wife a greater sense peace and security." {Bart Barber)
7...Have accountability partners or groups. Some ministers shared they have several men in whom they trust. Others shared they meet regularly with a partner. Others shared they talk each day with their spouse about the vulnerabilities either might have, i.e. feeling discouraged, needing validation.
8...As much as it is possible, take your spouse with you on conferences. If she cannot come, take a deacon.
9...Guard your mind. What you put into it can cause seeds of evil to grow. Avoid all movies and television programs with sexuality--yeah, that includes Miss USA contests. One minister says he tapes his Discovery shows so he can even fast-forward through ungodly commercials. How refreshing to read that. (No Victoria Secret for him.) Stay away from Soap Operas, Romance novels and the like. They do not feed your mind with that which is pure and good.
10...Do not neglect one another...Emotionally or physically. Hug one another alot. Especially in the morning before you part and in the evening when you come home. Sit next to one another on the sofa occasionally--avoid the recliner. Take time to talk about one another's day. Do not unload all your problems the moment you get together. Take care of the kids and help with the chores. Go shopping together. Watch the Home and Garden channel with her even though you hate it (yes, a man suggested that). Watch his favorite sports event with him even though you have no interest. Cultivate one. (yes, a woman suggested that.) Support one another. Encourage one another. Compliment one another. Point out at least one positive about one another every day. Call one another when you're going to be late (respect one another). Do not put down one another. EVER. Not even in jest. Offer to wash her hair or paint her toenails. (Hey, Ed Young gave his wife a permanent one time!)
11...Support one another Spiritually and Mentally: Pray with one another for one another every day. Share your needs with one another through a prayer request. Wives ask your husbands questions about spiritual matters, the Bible, politics, the economy--be interested. Husbands, ask your wife how she needs you to pray for her today. Run some illustrations by her and ask her if something happened in her day where she saw God at work with the children, or in her life. Read her something from a book you are reading and ask her opinion on it. Have a time of scripture reading together often...even if all you do is read through the Psalms. Take walks and talk about God. Count your blessings.
12...Don't be afraid to seek outside counseling: "An unwillingness to seek counseling on a minister's part is unwise and foolish when in fact, it can be extremely beneficial to his own blind spots." See your spouse as more important than self. Don't use intimacy as a weapon; it can breed temptation.
13...Those are some of the more practical things we can come up with to safeguard your marriage. But the one most important in everyone's eyes was to love Jesus and put your spouse above ministry. We need to really and truly love Jesus. To desire to be with Him and follow Him in all our ways. To hunger after righteousness. To feed on His Word and be sensitive to His Spirit.
GREAT QUOTES I GLEANED:
"I must act as a beggar from the Lord, depending on His omnipotent hand, knowing that if He were to leave me to myself, I would fail terribly as a husband/father." Chadwick Ivester [MORE FROM CHADWICK TOMORROW]
"The greatest safeguard I know is to stay close to God, follow Jesus personally, seek to express the fruit of the Spirit starting at home, repent daily of anything not of God, and be simply devoted to Christ. If I am not loving my wife and children first, I have little to share with others, so I try to focus on my home life before ministry. If my spirit is strong and my soul is satisfied with God, other things do not enter in and any temptation in this area is more easily defanged. If Christ is my focus really, all else flows from there. Jesus really does have power...He is sufficient." Alan Cross"Living for Christ is so simple - it is simple Faith and obedience. So many
times we make it complicated and hard when Jesus wants us to just come and rest in Him. I have found the more I love Jesus and memorize His word, and spend time with Him--the more I love my wife." Brad Reynolds
In my next post I will seek to give some helps for family and ministry. Until then: Chadwick Ivester offers this cautionary post regarding FACEBOOK TEMPTATION.
FOR MY PREVIOUS POSTS ON VULNERABILITY:
PART ONE...CAN THE DEVIL GET TO YOU?
