I am by no means an authority on how to safeguard oneself against temptation to sin. I am far from able to give the greatest counsel. But because I am so very concerned and burdened for ministers, their wives, their family and ministries, I've requested from other saints what they have found helpful in their lives. Some of the ideas below are ones that some have found worked for others. Some are their own safeguards. Some were identical from one person to another. Because I do not want any one person to misconstrue the safeguards or warnings that I've collected from others as something that may be going on in any particular ministry, I am not publishing from whom I received the suggestions. I contacted over 35 people from new pastors, to older pastors and ministers' wives. I didn't pick anyone for any particular doctrinal persuasion. And I believe these will prove neutral to that kind of debate. I hope they can help someone. Somewhere. If you have some that are not listed, feel free to comment anonymously. Because of the incredible response to this, I will only list the "Warnings" today, and the "Safeguards" in my next post.
WARNINGS: Understand that a warning is something that pricks your conscience. It is also an intuition, a gut feeling, a sensitive discernment. Not all people have an active radar system within their minds. Some situations we find ourselves in may blindside us. They come from some place we had no idea they'd come from. So some of the things that I offer below are things you may already know. Or things you never ever thought would matter all that much. These deal with marital protection.
- You sense something is wrong, but you ignore the feeling. You pass it off as innocent, inconsequential. A hug. A brush with another person that lingered longer than a second.
- You notice that this "something" occurs more than once and a pattern develops.
- A person seeks you out for more and more questions. Attention. Problems.
- You feel flattered, rather than encouraged. You feel manly, rather than godly. More feminine, than godly.
- You receive a personal email. A letter which you wonder if your spouse would be hurt if they read it...if they'd think something were going on with you and the sender of the email or letter. (Show it to her or him. Tell them about it.)
- Your spouse points out to you a problem with someone's attention. (Do not ignore this. Your spouse often senses things that you may not even suspect.)
- Your emotional state is weak. i.e. You are angry at your spouse, your church. Maybe even God. You are discouraged. You are tired. You are over-worked and feel unappreciated or misunderstood. (These things can be the slope on which you slip when confronted with someone who "understands" you or appreciates you.)
- Your ego is riding high. You feel untouchable. You see yourself as invincible.
- You do not want to spend time alone with your spouse. You lose interest in simple pleasures--holding hands. Helping with chores. Sharing interests. Discussing your day. You don't pray for your spouse. You don't pray together.
- You find yourself thinking how things would be if your spouse was more like so and so. You begin to compare your spouse to another you find more appealing.
- You bicker. You pick at one another. You make snide remarks. You are more sarcastic. You laugh at jokes which demean the opposite sex.
- You find you are interested in movies, books, magazines, and sites that push the envelope of sensuality. You allow yourself to believe it is research. You rationalize you need to know what the culture is doing, reading, seeing. You don't see all that wrong with the immodest dress of women (that's for you guys.)
- You find so many ministry things to do that you don't set aside time to be alone with God. To read to know Him and fellowship for the pure love of His Word. To pray out of sheer desire to praise Jesus for all He is to you.
WARNINGS. All of the above are things which are warning signs that you need to be aware of to keep yourself from falling prey to temptation. These are not exhaustive. They are only to serve as helps to understand how easy it is to find yourself in a situation which could be prevented if you simply remain vigilant. Tomorrow I will offer a few safeguards that were offered to me. I 'm still receiving input. So we may be adding to these, too. But for a great read on what to do until I post the SAFEGUARDS, click on over to GULF COAST PASTOR and read what he has to say. selahV
FOR MY PREVIOUS POSTS ON VULNERABILITY: