Ever have someone's rude unsolicited input so floor you that you wonder if it really matters at all if you answer them? Ever wonder how in the world to reply to that person who directs you to forgive them if they have been rude for calling you "arrogant", in presuming they know what you are thinking inside your brain? Ever answer that person, only to have that person continue to imply that your answer doesn't meet their belief of what you profess (in other words, you're lying)? Ever realize that no matter what you reply, communication is futile? Ever wonder what in the world a person is thinking when they unload insults and accusations without provocation as rapidly as kernels popping in a microwave popcorn bag?
Proverbs has a lot to say about that kind of situation:
1...Don't feel that an accusation deserves an immediate response, if any. You see, "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge [sifting it from the grain]; not so the minds and hearts of the self-confident and foolish." Proverbs 15:7. When a person disperses accusations, they are not wise and are not dispersing knowledge. They are dispersing presumption, assumptions, and imagination. They have the mind and heart of the "self-confident and foolish". A person who admonishes you with a scornful attitude is not looking for answers. They only seek to belittle to make a self-serving point. "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts--it is folly and shame to him." Proverbs 18:13. "A [self-confident] fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to himself." {vs.6) To answer him catches you in his snare. Avoid the snare.
2..."Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you." Proverbs 9:8. Scorners look to themselves for wisdom. Their thoughts and deductions are the only opinion that matters--how they perceive something, how they analyze something, how they determine it to be. They do not need to inquire of another if they have made a wrongful judgment before jumping to conclusions; they believe they are omnipotent in a situation. If you are confronted by someone like this, it is best to not answer them. "The mind of him who has understanding seeks knowledge and inquires after and craves it, but the mouth of the [self-confident] fool feeds on folly." Proverbs 15:13.
3..."Go from the presence of a foolish and self-confident man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips." Proverbs 14:7. You're better off to walk away from this encounter, than to try and communicate. For the self-confident man already has his answers; his mind has already been made up, conclusions formed. Nothing you say will change that fact.
4...So, "Answer not a [self-confident] fool according to his folly, lest you be like him." Proverbs 26:4. When you try to communicate with someone who already thinks they have all the answers, and has no desire to inquire into your motives or thoughts before accusing you, then it is best not to answer him according to his words. It's futile. You'll become just like him. He didn't accuse you to resolve a situation, but to inflame it and bring about contention where there is none.
5..."Answer a [self-confident] fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes and conceit." Proverbs 26:5. When we try to answer someone who already presupposes he knows our hearts and minds, then we answer him according to his own snares of intimidations and then he becomes even more conceited, and thinks he is even more wise in his own eyes. Therefore, it is best to follow the way of Jesus...do not answer such bunk. [see Matthew 21:24-27].
Recently I answered a person according to his folly. It resolved nothing. It proved nothing. It reconciled nothing. It edified no one. It benefited no one. It brought no glory to God. It satisfied only the self-confident fool. But I am wiser for it...and may God gain glory in knowing I have sought His counsel for future encounters. And may God be gratified that I join His Son in saying, "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do." selahV
[copyrighted, 2009, selahVToday, hariette petersen]
