Constantly complain about your life.
Continually point out the flaws in others.
Harp about anything and everything that is wrong with other Christians.
Verbally share every problem you see in your church and all other churches.
Never say thank you.
If you are offended, get angry and hold a grudge. Do not forgive.
Emphasize the failures of every ministry that have not shown immediate success.
Never ever say you are sorry or wrong about anything.
Don't sing during worship, but grumble about the music that is chosen for the services. Gee, just stop going to church altogether, you're saved aren't you?
Always see the flipside of every positive.
Never do more than you absolutely have to.
If you see something good going on, don't tell anyone you saw it.
If you realize someone has a gift and is sharing it and bringing glory to God through it, don't magnify it by praising God for their abilities.
Never give God any credit for anything you accomplish yourself.
When people need your help, point them to someone else.
If someone helps you, do not let them know you appreciate them.
When the church needs volunteers, let someone else do it.
When you could be merciful or generous, don't be.
When other Christians denounce sin as sin, accuse them of being judgmental and stand up for tolerance.
Make sure you refer to God as "the man upstairs" and spiritual people as "holier-than-thou" self-righteous Pharisees.
Don't worry about doing things that give the appearance of evil. People aren't interested in appearances anyway. They only care about sincerity and purity.
And if these don't work, simply sit around all day and wonder why God is so good to others and not you. selahV
[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]
