SelahV Today by hariette petersen

ME, YOU, MISSIONARIES and OTHER REAL PEOPLE

Perhaps we all should adopt our very own missionary.  I had been praying for a while for the Lord to send me a missionary for whom I could begin praying for...cry with, rejoice with.  When I first met Kerri Hamilton, she didn't even leave her name on the blog I commented on.  She was just a Missionary-In-Waiting.  I can't really remember the conversation of the post at the time, I just remember reading her plea for understanding, her position on a matter close to her heart, and that she was a "missionary in waiting".  I didn't even know what that meant when I saw it.  But it intrigued me.  The Lord led me to pray for her.  I wrote the prayer out on the comment stream, posted it and went on my merry way back to my blogsite and my blog-writing.I can't recall exactly how long it was before I got an email from her thanking me for praying for her--one day or three.  Really, it doesn't matter.  We began corresponding. At the time she was pretty much unable to share much about her call to missions because she wasn't sure where she was going.  That's all in the post you can find [HERE]. I'm not going to write verbatim her blog profile because you can now read it for yourself as her blog is no longer a security issue and is public.  HooRay for us!  TAH DAH! for the Hamilton's...read that post [HERE].

Kerri and Robert are so excited about God's new call upon their lives.  They'll be missionaries in Brazil.  For anyone interested in participating in praying for these new missionaries as they walk through each step of the process, Kerri's blog will be a great place to view from afar and learn.  She has four darling children whom she homeschools and teaches lessons of life in wonderful ways.  They are going to need all the prayers we can utter as they learn a new language and sever emotional ties here in America.  They will experience joy, separation anxieties, adapting struggles and tests upon their faith as none we've ever encountered.  They will need to adjust to new government regulations, traffic guidelines, diet changes and a multitude of other things we take for granted in our prosperous America.

They need us, folks.  And the following post found HERE kind of sums up the one side of this missionary's heart.  Go over and examine her heart.  Share a part of yours.  And then take hers into yours and pray for her daily.  I'm glad God led me to her and her to me.  I know you'll be glad too when you get to know her.   selahV    

WHEN THE GIANT IS GRIEF

As I sit here writing this post to try and explain why I needed your prayers yesterday, I wonder.  Is what I'm about to say even worth sharing?  Are you as tired of me as I am?

Grief is a strange thing.  It really is.  Just when you think you're doing pretty well with life, grief grabs you by the throat and says, "Oh no you're not!"  A week ago I went to a very draining counseling session.  I started going to a Christian counselor just after my son died.  When Linda asked me why I was there, I sat for a long while with tears streaming down my face till I finally found a voice to say, "Because my daughter thinks I need to be here.  I lost my son."

Looking back I realize how revealing that statement was.  I didn't begin counseling for me.  I began counseling for my daughter.  She thought I needed someone to help me through the most devastating time I would ever endure---the loss of my son.  I probably would have been content to lie in my recliner and melt into the fabric.  That's how I felt.  Like a puddle without borders.  Everyone in my family other than my deceased son's two little girls seemed like they were handling death and life just fine.  Everyone seemed in agreement that it was me who needed help.  In reality, I did not want help.  I really didn't.  I wanted release.  I wanted to leave this place called earth that served to do nothing but deliver blow after blow after blow of unrelenting pain.

Being the marshmallow I am, I let my daughter call the Christian Counseling Center for me.  Whatever.  Whenever.  It just didn't matter to me.  She called me when I was in Tennessee telling my 85 year-old father that his grandson had died.  I had to call the counseling center back to make the appointment, she told me.  So I did.

A lot has happened since June of 2005.  I've discovered alot about myself that I didn't know.  Good stuff.  But the discovery wasn't without its own pain.  Last week I shared with Linda all the joy of all the blessings God had recently placed in my life through complete strangers.  (Anyone reading this for the first time can go back about five or six posts and read of the miracles.)  For brevity's sake I won't tell you how we came to the topic of Applebee's restaurant.  Sufficient for this writing that I did.  I told Linda that I hadn't been to Applebee's since Chad died. In fact I wished they'd tear the building down and rebuild it somewhere else.  I didn't even want to drive past it.

Our whole family had gone there to celebrate Mother's Day.  Chad was suppose to come up later, but I'd half-expected him to make it for dinner.  We'd placed our orders, were receiving our drinks and were waiting on appetizers when my husband's phone rang.  I knew everyone was there with us, so I knew it had to be my son.  But my husband shook his head no, "It's the state police."  A dozen thoughts went through my mind, but foremost was a foreboding, all-knowing void.  Speculative comments were made.  I felt violated.  My husband went outside because the officer told him to go out.  I realize now, he didn't want him falling apart in public.

I got up and followed him out.  I watched as his jaw clenched, his lips trembled, and then his legs buckle.  He dropped to the edge curb between two cars.  I knew.  I screamed.  I walked in circles.  I pulled my hair.  I lost complete control of my bladder and knew I was going to die.  Right there.  I never felt so alone in my entire life.  My husband was still talking.  The family was inside Applebee's.  I managed to walk over to a bench outside Applebee's and scream and scream and scream.  The next thing I know, I was being pushed or pulled or somehow maneuvered into the back seat of our van.  My husband was inside with me.  My son-in-law was driving.  I wanted my daughter.  I wanted her so badly.  She was with her family.

I cried and shouted and told God, "No, no, no."  I heard nothing.  "Why?  It can't be."

It was.

There was another man with my son at the time he was killed.  He was in a coma in the hospital.  "Let that be my son, Lord," I begged.  Fruitless.

The image of that day lies in a crevice of my heart.  I don't know if it will ever be cleared out and filled with something better.  Perhaps it isn't suppose to.  Perhaps that is how we are to walk on in grief.  Ever-remembering at times the pain we felt on a certain day, so we are better able to crawl inside another's heart and comfort them with the crevices so deep they cannot see the light of day.  I do not know for sure.

Every now and then in blogland, someone emails me about my writings and we develop a cyber-space friendship.  I have several of these now.  Oddly enough, they originate from the times I've shared some of the greatest depth of my pain.  I've always found it rather easy to relate to another's pain.  I've found it one of the most comfortable places to be, actually.  When I've sat with hurting people, it's as if I am a big plump sofa with lots of fluffy pillows and a box of tissues sitting atop my head.  The person in pain just crawls up into the midst of my well-worn cushions and settles in.  And I am at ease.

A week or so ago, a lovely lady contacted me after reading some of my posts on grief and we discovered we lived in neighboring counties.  She'd been going through multiple losses and she wanted to meet and talk.  I felt this to be a Divine Intervention and believed with all my heart that God was up to something. I emailed back and she set the time and place.  When I opened her email, I felt something akin to clamoring cymbals resonating above my head and inside my being.

Applebee's.  What could I say?  How shall I say it?  She wanted to treat me to lunch since she had initiated the conversation and meeting.  I needed to tell her I couldn't.  Applebee's is off limits.  All my friends know I dont "do" Applebee's.  Even my daughter can't return there.  My husband won't go there.

I just couldn't go to Applebee's.  I wrote her an email.  I put the email in my "send later" box.   I thought about it.  Would she be offended?  Would she think I was nuts and without faith because I couldn't face that demon?  I pushed it out of my mind.  I had other stuff to think about.  There was plenty of time to reword the message later.  It kept coming back to my mind.  Applebee's.  For some reason the advertisements for the restaurant and all the scrumptious meals they served kept interrupting my programs on television.  Applebee's this and Applebee's that.  It was nauseating.

Would I be able to even think clearly should I go?  Would I be a puddle on the floor?  Would I be able to swallow a morsel of food they served?  Could I hear a word this new friend said?  Would I freak out?  Of all the hundreds of restaurants in Lawton she could have chosen, why Applebee's?  She liked a chicken salad they made.  I could think of other restaurants with other chicken salads.  She was beginning to make me mad.  As if she had any idea that I was battling demons.  I had to think this through.  I had enough prayer requests on my mind that were far more pressing than where I'd eat lunch on Monday.

Later I discussed it with my husband.  "Suggest another place."  Yeah.  The simple, cut-to-the chase solution.  Men!  Ya gotta love 'em.  God was doing something here.  And I didn't like what God was doing.  And that was my real struggle.  Satan wouldn't be leading me to a place for a face off.  No.  He'd want me to cower.  To run.  To quiver and shake.  This was God for sure.

I recalled my conversation with Linda earlier that week in counseling.  She'd suggested I return to Applebee's and sit in that bench.  Is she nuts?  Without a cyber-second of thought, I shook my head, "No!  Absolutely not!  I can't.  I won't.  I don't want to.  I've faced enough painful memories."  To face pain helps us overcome it and move on.  Enough is enough.  It made absolutely no sense to me.  I've stood toe-to-toe with demons from hell in dealing with the grief and loss of my precious son.  I've forgiven what others call unforgiveable.  I've embraced what others could never embrace.  But I simply could not see an ounce of good that could come of me standing in the same spot, sitting in that bench where I wailed and screamed and cried out to God to make it not be true.  "No, a thousand times no!"

In her soft, gentle reassuring voice, Linda said, "You pray about it."

"No; you pray about it, Linda.  I don't want to pray about it."  So I didn't.  But I guess Linda did.  Because here I am telling you about how God placed a perfect stranger into my life just a few days prior to my counseling session with Linda.  A perfect stranger who had never even mentioned anything to me about eating, much less eating at Applebee's.  I'm sharing with you how the odds of me having anyone, nevermind a stranger, offering to take me to lunch at Applebee's are beyond the realms of coincidence.  Since Mother's Day 2005, I have avoided that place as though its very existence exuded poisonous vapors.

This past week I'd been writing daily devotions about trusting in God.  Resting in God.  I've written for over a year about the healing power of God.  The strength He provides in my weakness.  The shelter He is in every storm. 

God has blessed me beyond measure the past few years and more particularly in the past few weeks.  All one need do is take a bit of time and scan a few of my previous posts to see how He daily works in my life.  You'd soon see what I mean.  But Applebee's was a tremendous Giant in my life.  I cannot adequately share how I felt about it.  And some of you are probably reading this and saying, what?  what's the big deal?  Others of you are still praying for me.

Since you began praying for me yesterday morning after I requested it of you without sharing details, I've met the Giant.  And God knocked it in the head with one shot from His sling of protection.  I had so many things go through my mind while I sat waiting for my new-blogfriend to arrive.  I had a bevy of thoughts race around like rats cornered in an alley as I sat eating and talking with her.  But you know what?  My heart was at peace.  I felt as though a thousand angels were sitting next to me.  I felt like I was ushered in and ushered out without any effort on my part.  I thoroughly and completely rejoice in the new friend He has given me who He used to bring me to face a Giant in my life.

God did something for me yesterday.  He flung a stone.  He knocked that Giant on his keester.  I walked by that bench outside the restaurant.  I didn't sit down.  I know God didn't plan for me to do that just yet.  I don't know why.  But I feel just fine about it.  Grief is a strange thing.  And so is the prayer of God's people.

Linda's prayers are pretty powerful.  And I think yours are too.  Thank you so much.  So very, very much.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]   

A GIANT STEP...A LEAP OF FAITH

Today I'm about to take a step I do not want to take.  I've been counseled to take it.  I don't want to take it.  And perhaps I won't take it entirely.  I do not know.

I've been led of God by another's words before.  I've been led of God by circumstances and what man would call coincidence.  I have prayed.  I am walking.  I will share later with you how it goes.  For now...I need your prayers and I know you will pray without the full details.  To be honest, I cannot see the screen any longer to write.  And I must go, for grief awaits me.  selahV

FROM GOD'S CALL TO GOD'S SANCTIFICATION

The following post was entirely too long to print in one blog.  So I edited it down with this being the portion of God's call on me as a minister's wife.  Yeah.  God calls us, too.  The rest of this story is at sbcIMPACT today and I'll post the link later.  I've included a portion of IMPACT's post here for clarity of my "call":

It made no sense.  I'd been born-again all of 8 months.  I sat in an auditorium in Ridgecrest, North Carolina listening to Bertha Smith challenge us all to pray for the Lord to bring forth laborers for His harvest.  That tiny gray-haired lady charged us to pray that people hear and heed the call to missions, to ministry, to evangelism.  She exhorted us with Isaiah's words: "Here am I, send me".

I prayed for others.  I asked God to call men to ministry.  Then I heard a voice say, "You."  I'm hearing things.  Bertha Smith must have said that. 

But it wasn't her.  Everyone was praying.  I peeked.  I resumed praying for God to call men to missions and ministry and evangelism.  Again, I heard, "You."   I questioned, "Is that You, God?"  In my heart I heard what made no sense to my mind:  the Lord is speaking to me.  And it wasn't just about the everyday service I was already doing as a Christian.  It wasn't about going to Sunday School, taking parts in WMU (women's missions') programs or Training Union (discipleship training in Southern Baptist doctrines).  It wasn't serving in VBS recreation.  No.  And it wasn't visiting the sick with my preacher's wife and taking meals to homebound members.  It wasn't attending this Ridgecrest conference on missions, either.

God was calling me into full-time ministry.  And it was ludicrous!  I'm having an emotional high.  I can't be in ministry without my husband!

I decided I had to be hearing what I wished were possible if I were good enough, smart enough, wise enough.  If my husband was educated enough, experienced enough and bold enough.  Otherwise, it made not one iota of sense to me.  My husband was a precision gagemaker.  He honed and polished metal gages the size of a human hair which measured spaces and sizes for high-tech aircraft parts.  He hadn't even been to college--much less seminary.  Furthermore, our lifestyles prior to our recent faith in Jesus as Savior were so far the opposite of Christianity, it bordered on insanity to think we'd be fit to serve God in such a way.

It was simply impossible.

Months and months lapsed before I shared my prayer experience with anyone.  Even though my minister's wife had become my best friend, I considered what she did as something far beyond what I could ever do.  In fact, I didn't like what she did.  It called for tremendous tolerance of which I had little. It called for sacrifice of which I was not at all willing to give.  And it called for my husband to talk.  To people.  Lots of them.  When I finally shared it, she smiled, "Oh, but with God all things are possible.  I've known for a long time that God has set Bob apart for something special."  What did she know that I didn't?

When my husband first went to Sunday School, the teacher instructed them to open to the book of John.  He was totally disheartened.  He had only purchased a Bible.  He didn't know he needed another book.  That is how little understanding my dear hubby had of all things Christian.  He had no traditions nor theology from which to draw upon.  He'd been baptized Catholic because his paternal grandmother was Catholic.  He'd never gone to church at all.

I, on the other hand, had gone to church all during my childhood.  Even though I stopped when I became a teenager, I did know that the Bible had multiple books inside it---John being one of them.  My knowledge of what they all instructed was another story entirely.

However, from the moment I heard the Voice say, "You", I buried myself in Bible studies, and books by Oswald Chambers, Watchman Nee, Manley Beasley, and Clyde Francisco.  I devoured books by missionaries.  And I waited.  And I prayed.  I waited on God to change me and work in both our lives.   I became restless and impatient.  I wanted to see God move faster.  I often questioned the validity of that Voice.   But God kept working on me, sanding down the edges, humbling me.  Cleansing me, establishing my walk.

He tested my obedience.  He put unlovely people in my path who I learned to love without condition.  He placed burdens upon our family which added strength to my faith.  He placed mountains and walls and seas beyond my control to bring me to Him for His sufficiency.  He repeatedly showed me everyday mini-miracles and manifested Himself in ways I found difficult to explain.  Years passed and my husband was still a gage-maker.  He did not have any desire to go to college.  He was thirty-three.  We had two children and he was the sole supporter of our family.

I finally concluded that the call had not been real.  We were extremely happy serving Christ, teaching, leading and following wherever He led us in our lives in East Hartford, Connecticut.   My husband was an ordained deacon working a Deacon's Family Ministry plan.  We were co-directors of Children's Worship.  I was speaking throughout New England with WMU.  We were part of lay-led revivals in various churches.   I actually gave up the thought of full-time ministry.  Then unbelievable things began happening to us.  Too many to share in one post.

Three years after I'd heard Bertha Smith's challenge, my husband surrendered to the call of God to go to Boyce Bible School in Louisville, Kentucky.  He was scared to death.  The intimidation and fear of studying books, writing papers, and passing tests were only surpassed by the terror he held at the thought of standing in front of people to speak any words worthy of a pure and Holy God.  Suffice it to say, my quiet husband's entire month's worth of conversational communication could be written double-spaced on two sheets of paper.  He just didn't talk that much.  He still doesn't.

Our lives are pretty much a miracle when we look back on them.  In fact, every time I watch my husband preach, I see a miracle of God.  Every time I think about my role as his wife, I am overwhelmed.  God has taken us through many valleys and led us up many mountains.  For more of this story, follow the link to sbcIMPACT.   selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

CALL TO PRAYER

[UPDATE: Trish called this evening and her mother has improved a bit.  They didn't find an aneurysym but the blood will have to dissolve on its own.  There is a high probability of another stroke.  Her mom is in pain but they don't want to give her anything for it.  Communicating is near impossible.  But her mom does understand when questioned.  Everyone is holding up.  She is so appreciative of our prayers and thanks you from the bottom of her heart.]

Trish of sbYankee contacted me today with an urgent request for prayer.  Her mother, Anne, who lives in Chesapeake, Virginia, has had a stroke and they are not expecting her to survive the night.  Trish and her daughters are flying out of Dallas this morning at 9 a.m. for Virginia to be at her mother's side.

She asks, "Please pray for travel safety, peace and calm for my family. This has not sunk in yet, pray that I be strong for my family, that I and my other Christian sisters be witnesses in this difficult time. Please pray that my mom knows the Lord, that her faith be saving faith."   selahV 

EYES TO SEE

I CAN SEE!   TRULY SEE!

Yes, I know I'm yelling!  I'm shouting hallejuhah!  This is by far one of the greatest experiences I've had in the last few years!  Before me is readable print.  I didn't have to enlarge the letters.  I didn't have to copy and paste to see other bloggers' sites and their comments.  It is a miracle!  All the while I struggled to read the various script before me, it was not I that had the problem, but my poor dementia-plagued computer.  Technology was so far advanced beyond its capabilities, it simply could not properly function in the world of cyberspace.

It saddens me somewhat.  For in the midst of my joyful experience, I realize many folks in blogland are just like I had been till thirty minutes ago.  Unable to read the scribbles before them for lack of technological eyeglasses.

It brings to mind the joy I have in my salvation.  Salvation in Christ opened my eyes to a totally different world.  I once was blind--living in darkness, and then Jesus entered my spirit and soul.  Then I could see where once I saw nothing but scribblings without meaning.  Not only could I see my past with greater clarity, but my present with defined possibilities.  Not only could I see my present, but my faith envisioned a future filled with God's love and presence forever and ever.

Had I kept clinging to the old computer that now sits without connection to power, I would never be able to see the possibilities before me at this moment.  I admit I had problems letting go of the comfort I felt in familiarity with my old PC.  We've been together for a long time.  It was the first I'd ever owned that brought me into the cyberworld.  Isn't that like our lives as Christians?  We must leave behind the habits of our former life.  We must let go of that which we thought we needed and loved.  And we move into a daily experience of adventure with our Lord.    

From behind the screen of my brand new monitor, I come boldly before you!  With a keyboard so very different to my touch, I am typing letters that cling to the end of one word before going on to make half of the next word.  Do I type too fast?  Hardly.

My fingers must adapt.  My brain must adapt.  It will.  In time.  For now, I must tap more cautiously and with a bit more focused approach.  Practice will make perfect, they say.

It's not nearly enough space on this page for me to thank those blessed benefactors who gave so generously to me with this computer and the one for my husband.  There are no words to sufficiently describe the joy we have knowing I can continue my writing ministry.  So blessed am I; so blessed are we.  May all folks everywhere be as blessed as I am at this moment.  May they see the Lord in all His glory as clearly as I see the words before me and the manifestation of His sovereign provision.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]   

 

HIP, HIP, HOORAY!

We did it!

Thanks to a very computer savvy blogging bud, Byron---better known in the sphere of cyberoptic web as Byroniac---I uploaded my entire computer's data without a hitch into AOL's free storage space.  I'm ever grateful for AOL's little deposit site.  I'm even more grateful for Byron who graciously took time to email me and answer my ignorant technological questions.  I need to send him some of my famous Preacher Cookies.

By the way, I would never have thought to reboot my computer and clear it of all the sites and gatherings I'd collected at those sites, if it hadn't been for my friend Ramblin' Rose.  When I told her what Byron had told me, she advised that I reboot before I started the procedure, given the history of my computer to shut down in the midst of emails, etc.   I should send her some cookies too, but she bakes better cookies than I do, so I'll have to think of something more fitting for her.

Okay.  Today, after an appointment with my grief-counselor (who God placed in my life to save me from myself), I am going to unplug the old PC and plug-in the new.  I'm so excited, I'm about to pop like a 4th of July fire cracker!  Then my most challenging moments will be unlearning all I've learned in navigating this Windows system and learning how to navigate VISTA.  Such challenges await me!  Such fun!

Hey!  DON'T FORGET to visit dailyIMPACT for my devotional thought today which was inspired by Colin McGahey's comment on yesterday's post.  He's a wise young man.    selahV

WALKING IN THE DARK

I've been busy the past few days.  Had my granddaughters for the weekend.  Blogging took a back seat.  Oh what a wonderful time we had!  Hugs, hugs and more hugs.  I am a very blessed grama!  I played referee to a few squabbles and cheerleader in a few rounds of checkers.  Life is great other than a bit of a bug I've picked up from somewhere or the other that wants to hang around far more than it is welcome.

I'm about to close down this computer and try some things to collect and save data from it.  Oh my!  It's like walking in the dark.  At any rate, if you don't hear from me in the next few hours or days, whichever the case may be, know I'm still here.  I'm sure it won't be more than a few hours.  At least I am as sure as I can be sure of anything that is unsure in life.  How's that for transparency?

Don't forget to drop in at dailyIMPACT for my daily devotional thoughts.  Also, there is a great series of posts on our Christian forefathers' theological stand on alcohol over at Peter Lumpkins site you might want to read through.  I advise everyone to read the posts (all of them) before reading any comments.  Makes for better continuity of thought, as I see it.  But that's just me.

THOUGHT FOR THE MOMENT:

"When the storm is passed, the brightness for which He is preparing us will shine out unclouded, and it will be Himself." Morrow Coffey Graham

Chat with you later.  selahV

   

MORE OF THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT

THERE'S A MIRACLE IN THIS POST...read on:

Still working on getting these computers up.  Yesterday, after going to Wal-Mart to get the router thingy and ethernet plugs and a new power-surge strip to make everything go together, I came home and got sick.

Literally.  My intestines rebelled against all my plans to disconnect and connect computers.  I sat down in my recliner at 1:00 and fell asleep till the doorbell rang at 4:30 that afternoon.  It was my friend Scott who has been a lifesaver in more ways than one since my husband's heart attack.  He'd come for a teacher's guide and when I gave it to him we got into a conversation about all the computer boxes in my living room.  Lo, and behold, I discover that Scott knows exactly how to connect these little babies.  He also told me I needed something different than the equipment I'd purchased at Wal-Mart that morning.  Hmmmmn.

Scott's gonna go get what I really need.  Scott's gonna help me connect these little darlings and maybe even help me figure out how to get some of the other stuff off my old computer.

Do you believe it?  Think about this folks.  I'm basically illiterate when it comes to technology.  Truly.  What I do with computers, designing banners, websites, etc., I do by playing--guessing, hit-or-miss in punching icons.  I absolutely abhor all those wires and plugs and discs that we insert in our machines that tell us what to do to make things work.  Drives me nuts.  However, as batty as it makes me, it tests the patience of my husband and makes him feel all but stupid to try and put them together.

So what does God do?  I get sick.  I take a nap--albeit a long nap.  My hubby takes a nap then goes to his little part-time job.  We don't even open the first box to get my computers set up.  Then God sends our friend, Scott, to the door at the precise time I need to tell someone, who has more than a cricket's brains worth of knowledge about computers.  I hadn't realized how much my friend knew about computers.  It had been his job before he retired.  He says he's not all that up on new stuff today.  Technology has surpassed his knowledge almost as much as it has my old computer.  Still, he knows and understands much much more than us.   AND, he's willing to help my husband and me.

We are blown away again by the sufficiency of God and the perfection of his timing.  I'm so relaxed about it all now.  It's so good to know how blessed I am that my Father cares enough about me that He takes care of every little detail.  Who says God ain't watching over us?  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

TODAY IS A BIG DAY!

I'm rather excited, yet a bit concerned.  I liken it to giving birth.  I could hardly wait.  I wanted to hold that baby and play with its little fingers and toes.  I'd wanted that little stinker to be born so I could lay on my stomach again.  I was a bit weary of the pressure on my inward parts.  I was sore from the little elbows and knees poking my stomach.  I was anxious to see what gender I'd been carrying (that was before today's technology). 

Yet at the same time I could hardly wait, I was worried about the pain I'd endure bringing that child into the world.  I was worried about all the little details of mothering I had yet to learn.  Babies don't come with instructions.  And to be honest, if they did, I sure wouldn't have read the instruction manual.  I'm a learn-as-I-go kind of person.  It's a wonder my children survived.  But they did.

Will I?  Will I survive shutting down this computer and connecting all the stuff to the new ones?  Will the new Vista drive me mad?  Will I be able to retrieve my emails?  Will I actually be able to type a post tonite?  Oh my, the pangs of letting go and going forward.  I've been told that what I already have become comfortable with in my Windows will be all new in Vista (whatever that is).  See what I mean?  Vista is something like Windows but not.  Boggles my mind!  Anyway, I'm excited.  It may take me a month or so to get the hang of things.  And probably by the time I do, Vista will be obsolete, too.  I'm a slow learner.

But I am determined.  And I am so grateful to my dear blogging friends who have provided these miracles of technology for me.  I am so grateful for Sagemont Church in Houston that is making it possible for me to continue this ministry.  Just as God gave me the opportunity and privilege to carry His gifts of life and then raise them to minister in His name, God has given me the opportunity to use these machines to carry His gifts of love, encouragement, comfort and inspiration to minister to you.  We're going to have such fun, aren't we?  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

HEY!  DON'T FORGET to drop in on my daily devotional at Daily IMPACT entitled WHEN GOD TARRIES.

FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW

I've been writing as long as I can remember.  I recall the first time I took a big fat pencil and wrote my first letter "A" on a piece of paper.  It was a magical moment.  From that leaded stick came the marked evidence of an image within my mind.  It was amazing.

Since then I have written a few award-winning essays, articles, and published the same.  I've owned my own newspaper that reached a readership estimated at 25,000 on a monthly basis.  I've wondered through the years why the Lord gave me so much inside my heart and mind that I had to pour it out on paper.  I've wondered what I could possibly say to compare with the volumes of wisdom and humor and edification of others I read.  I've wondered.

When my friend Peter Lumpkins insisted I begin writing on a blog he created for me when I was in the deepest of depression and grief from the loss of my 33-year-old son, I again wondered what in the world I could offer.  I was so broken.  So empty.  What could come from my pain-ridden heart, my short-circuited brain?  And how could I write again?  I hadn't written in over ten years.  Hardly had I even journaled a thought.  But when my son died, I began by writing letters of encouragement to others going through little struggles.  I began writing thank-yous to folks for the blessing they were in my life during my loss and struggle to survive it.

I was so computer illiterate to cyberspace that I was extremely intimidated.  So much information from so many educated people.  I sought answers from them with rather naive questions which at times were considered baiting, ignorant and downright stupid.  I retreated to the only place I knew I had a friend.  Peter and his blog.  In time I made some friends.  But theological debates, doctrinal apologetics, and political ramblings were simply not my cup of tea.  There was no balm in Gilead there for my broken spirit and grieving soul.

I began a blog called GRIEF MATTERS.  And in it I shared the way I was experiencing grief and thoughts of my son.  That blog spoke to numerous people.  Just this week I received an email sharing how much it has helped her with processing her own grief.  It helped others who were also suffering the loss of my son in their lives.

Since 2006 I've written well over 500 posts in one place of another on the blog-circuits of Blogtown.  Yet, as I said in recent posts on this blog, I had reached a point where financial strain was shutting down my little influence within a world of millions of blogging people.  I shared that struggle with my readers and the next thing I know I'd received the amount I needed to continue for one more month.  Then I received two computers to replace those which were totally obsolete in this new age of technological progress.  Today I want to tell you of another miracle.

The person who was led of the Lord and yielded to His voice and sent me the 60.00 I needed, asked if he could share my struggles with some other people.  I was elated to have the prayer support.  For to me, nothing in life can do more to accomplish the Lord's will than the prayers of His people.  Intercessory prayer is the most valuable privilege we have as Believers in Jesus Christ.  Through prayer we move mountains, destroy the enemies stronghold of hatred and bitterness.  Through prayer we call down the blessings from above that only rest in the hands of God and can be directed by His holy voice.

On the day I came home from receiving a computer with a printer, flatscreen monitor and was elated to show it to my husband, we received a letter.  Bob handed it to me and said, "Before you float away about that, you need to read this."  The thought raced through my mind that we were getting another disappointing notice from the Social Security that negated the hope we'd been given by our representative.  Another thought of a debtor whom we owed would no longer accept the pittance we were forced to offer for their services rendered.  Then I said, "No.  I will not let satan rob me of the joy I am experiencing at this moment from the generosity of a virtual stranger!"  I read the letter.

In the letter from a well-known church in Houston, Texas, of which we had absolutely no affiliation other than being a fellow Southern Baptist, was enclosed a check.  The pastor of that Houston church shared how my first benafactor of 60.00 had contacted them and lovingly shared how our finances had caused real challenges in our life.  He further shared how they wanted to help with my husband and my ministry of devotional writing and along with the ecnlosed check was a promise to send a like amount on the first of each month from now on.

Can you comprehend what I am saying?  Let this soak in.

God in His divine plan for me and my writing took a basically unknown author, used a caring compassionate friend, a stranger who'd enjoyed reading my comments and writing on the blog circuits, two other virtual blogging strangers with a desire to keep my ministry going, and a church who'd never read a word of my writing and blessed me with the ability to continue writing.  This is an awesome responsibility to say the least.  God has so supplied my needs with His riches through His convicting Spirit and response of His people that I am honor-bound to write words to glorify Him in every sentence.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

When I have the permission of the church who so generously has given this blessing to us, I will write an entire post sharing their ministry and purpose.  It is a church we in the SBC could and should model ourselves around.  I will look forward to sharing their story.   selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

WHEN OTHERS PRAY

I don't know why God leads me to pray specifically for someone I do not know.  I just know when I'm being led to do so.  I've prayed for all kinds of folks on blogs when I read a particular comment.  I actually go so far as to type it in as I feel led.  And sometimes we wind up talking and finding out a bit about one another, then develop a friendship via cyber-space.

Such is the case of one blogger who was virtually a stranger to me until about a month or so ago.  I've prayed multiple times for this person and am amazed at how God has answered.  This blogger has also prayed for me.  As have many many others.

One of the bloggers who prays for me has been doing so for a very long time.  It's her ministry.  When she read of my difficulties regarding my computer, she wrote how much she wished she could help me, but instead she was praying.  Almost every day she contacted me and told me she was praying.  Another blogging friend of mine said she was praying.  She knew my computer was shutting down several times a day in the middle of every operation I tried to do.  I was losing entire posts as I wrote them, emails, and research information.

Well, friends one of those bloggers out there who knows me from nothing other than a few writings, who doesn't want to lose my contribution to the blogosphere felt led of God to give me a new computer.  Yep.  An email came into my box one day and I was told that I was getting a brand new computer and flat-screen monitor.  I was absolutely floored.  Beyond words.  I didn't want to say anything to anyone until I was sitting in front of the monitor staring at the new screen.  But God has led me to write this post anyway.

Can God bless me any more?   Yes, He can.

I was talking with another blogger and in the middle of the conversation was asked if I'd done anything about getting a new computer yet.  I hesitated to share the great news because I wanted to post it first, but I told this blogger that another blogger was sending me one.  My second blogger friend told me to tell them I already had one, because it had been purchased already and they had it with them and so I had to let the other person keep their computer.  So much went through my mind.  I was elated that this blogger was giving me a new computer but felt sad that I'd have to tell the other blogger that I wouldn't be accepting their generous gift.

It reminded me of a time long ago when I was in our first pastorate.  Harvest time would come and we'd be inundated with baskets of tomatoes, green beans and cukes.  People would show up at the door at various times and share their bounty with us.  I never turned anything away because they were always overjoyed to give.  We just ate the food like manna.

When I emailed my first benefactor, they told me they were sending the computer anyway because they knew we needed a second one for my husband and his Bible software and materials.  "It is our joy to give it to you," they wrote.  Amazing.  God be praised!  I am so humbled and honored by the precious love extended through these bloggers.  Does anyone lack faith in the brother-sisterhood of the Southern Baptist today?  Send them over here to me.

We have 3 outdated, obsolete, nearly useless computers.  And I had no idea how much longer I could go on writing because my computer was in such bad shape.  And because people were praying for me, two virtual strangers other than about a month's worth of blogging dialog, believed so strongly that God wanted my writing ministry to continue that they both gave me a computer.

Now, let me tell you one of the major pluses of this whole blessing from God.  My husband has really been discouraged lately because he knew how much I loved being able to converse with Christian bloggers and share my faith.  He knew we had absolutely no way to get a new computer and knew we'd probably need to cut off our phone service and internet service, and his newspaper delivery.  Fixed incomes impose greater frugality than personal commitment.  Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  So when not one, but two virtual strangers gave me computers and one was for him, it lifted his spirit in such a way that you would have thought he had a new heart.  Wouldn't you think this was the greatest news in all the earth for me given all the stuff you've read about me recently?

Prayer.  The prayer of God's people for God's people.  Direct intervention from God.  The leading of the Holy Spirit.  Yielding to the Holy Spirit.  Can it get any better than this?  Yes it can.

There's more.  God has much more going on.  Much much more.  God owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  I am His child.  He loves me and He has a purpose for me.  And He is validating my writing ministry and I am awed by His call upon me.  Each word I write must be a testimony to Him.  Each sentence I construct must bring Him honor and glory.  What an awesome responsibility!  What a blessing to be given!  Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you more.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

 

TRIBUTE WORTH READING

I find myself in a place only God in His most providential hand could have placed me.

For all of my faithful readers, I have to thank you for your encouragement, words of wisdom, edification and comfort regarding my writing.  For a long time now I have been struggling with the impact my writing ministry had in this unbelievable venue of cyber-communications.  I've second-guessed myself.  I've criticized myself.  I've agonized over my inept delivery of the depth of my heart.  I've often lain myself bare before you in my weaknesses and inadequacies.  I've never claimed my opinion to be anything but my own biased thinking based on my own experiences, knowledge of subject matter and discernment given me by God.

Lately, I have experienced challenging circumstances which you have prayed over as I tried to reason my way through.   I'd come to the conclusion that our circumstances meant God was removing His call for me to write.  That part of my ministry in this venue was over.  I was weary anyway over the sad indictments of Christians against Christians I saw waged within the little sphere of influence we held in the Land of Blog.  One could attack another, then when folks came to his/her defense they were accused of attacking rather than defending.  Back and forth it went till blood was spilled, tears were shed, and things died down till another breach of opinion was raised and another group of folks razed the opinion.  All this led me to believe I had no place here.  I did not belong in Blogville.  When I shared my forthcoming departure with readers so as not to just cut and run, I received emails saying they were praying for me.  That my words were needed, that my voice filled a void within the community of bloggers.

While I was heartened by those responses, I knew the lines had been drawn for me and I had reached the Red Sea's shore.   Lo and behold, God showed up.

He laid it on one blogger's heart to send me the exact amount of money I needed to keep my phone connected and my site up one more month.  I was thrilled because I really didn't want to say good-bye to some of my blogging buds just yet.  I've experienced so many losses of late, not the least was my son, that it was painful for me to consider leaving them all behind.  But the miracle in that blogger's gift was how little I knew him.  He said he'd read comments I've written and he enjoyed my writing and felt led of God to help with my situation.  With the money, he penned a note, "Keep writing, Psalm 37."  Have you ever sat, read and meditated upon that chapter?  It spoke fresh volumes to me.  And the tiny two words:  "keep writing."

My brain began to buzz with joy and gratitude.  One more month.  If God so chose to lay it upon a virtual stranger's heart to send me the money to keep going without feeling guilty for taking food off our table, then surely He might provide again---some way, perhaps a job for me.

There is much much more to this story to come.  But for today, this is what I consider a "tribute worth reading" to be.  A "tribute" is one in which someone pays honor and glory to a person for being used of God.  Its one in which words are used to express accolades and attach positive things toward that other person.  I love this brother in Christ.  He has set in motion some wonderful blessings which I will share in days to come.  Suffice it to say today that since my blogging friend yielded to His Spirit's leading a virtual firestorm of divine things have happened to me and my husband.

I will praise the Lord!  All blessings flow from His divine direction.  All good things come from Him.  May the words you read be a balm of Gilead to you.  May you know without a doubt that not only is God able, but He is willing.  And He deserves the glory.  He and He alone.  No greater tribute could be made than that.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

DON'T FORGET---to read my daily devotional made possible by the Lord at DailyIMPACT. 

SUFFICIENCY AND MORE, My God is so Worthy of Praise

I've often wondered, had I been a woman in the days of Moses, what I would have thought when a giant body of water parted and winds so forceful held back its walls so I could walk across the sea on dry (not muddy) land to the other side.  I've wondered how one could experience something so miraculous and God-delivered that I could participate in dancing to calf idols molded from melted gold just a few days later.

But I have been there.  I've had the Lord part waters for me and then when faced with later difficulties found myself seeking other things to get me through the circumstances of life.  Have you?

Less than two weeks ago I wrote a post sharing a great "Sea-shore" at which I'd found myself standing.  I truly felt the Lord would give me the peace I needed to meet the hour and the provision I needed should the "Egyptians" reach me before the waters parted.  However, I had no shred of an idea how He would accomplish such a feat.

It's strange now, looking back.  How great a God we serve.  How patient, loving and steadfast.  Over and over and over again, He has proved Himself faithful to meet my needs.  And then at times, I find myself fretting over this or that.  How silly of me.  How beyond the worthiness of my Lord.  What contempt my doubt offers my Father for His promises and the fulfillment of so many in my life.

In the above post, I requested prayer for what appeared to be an impasse beyond any control my husband and I had.  The Lord answered your prayers and the dilemma was miraculously met with God's intervening hand.  The facts we'd been presented were true, but when we got to the prayer-prepared appointment, they were over-ridden by another person who worked magic with the numbers and our situation.  We rejoiced in this with so many of you readers who were praying for us.

On the heels of that post I wrote another post sharing what I believed the Lord was leading me to do to help with our financial burdens.

I am now writing this post to share the glory of the Lord!  He has supplied and supplied abundantly.  This has occurred through bloggers (who are virtual strangers to me other than a few times I've interacted with them on blogs and a few emails).

Listen, folks.  Please listen.

God so spoke through His Holy Spirit in their hearts that a series of things happened to me that has blessed my husband and I in such a way I am able to stay home and continue writing on the internet.  I now have the means beyond all expectations I could even have dreamed.

I pray as I share the details of the numerous blessings in the next few posts that you will see the glory of the Lord so manifested in the lives and hearts of my fellow Southern Baptist brothers and sisters in Christ that you will be encouraged, strengthened and lifted to new heights of praise.  I pray that you will see the power of prayer so clearly that you will be moved to pray unceasingly for your brothers and sisters in Christ and the lost in this world which God so longs to include in the Wedding Feast of our Lord and His Bride.  I pray that you will rejoice with me and place stones of rememberance to share with your children and their children.

And may the Lord of Hosts, the Son of God, my Lord and Savior gain all glory honor and praise for all He has given me, His servant of significance whom He knew before I was born and knitted me tightly in my mother's womb.  She tried unsuccessfully to abort me.  God had a plan.  And this is part of it.  Praise the Lord from Whom all blessings flow.  He is Worthy to be praised!  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

I've never understood racism.

My mother abandoned my two elder brothers and me when I was just 3 years old.  Fortunately I was blessed with a wonderful nanny who cared for me like I was her very own--Trisha.  She happened to be black.  In those days, she was called a negro.  The first time I ever really noticed she was black was when I saw her shaving her legs.  I must have been about five.   She was all lathered up with white soap.  As she drew the razor up her leg, the black was stark against the background of white.  I recall as if yesterday, asking, "Trisha, how come you are black?"

"Oh, child, the Lord made me this way."

I didn't know much about the Lord at the time, but I knew the Lord was someone who was suppose to be good and if He made her black then it was a good thing.  Then I wondered, why am I white?  If black was good, then is white bad?  Trisha assured me that white wasn't bad either.  That the Lord made both black and white and both were exactly what He wanted them to be.

Through the years, I listened as my father called negroes "niggers".  Daddy thought the absolute world of Trisha.  I never heard him call her by that term.  But I heard him refer to other black people that way.  I never understood it.  Not then.  Today I do.  Daddy was prejudiced.  He was prejudiced by his own culture.  His upbringing.  By our country's disdain for black people.  I didn't know much about the politics of it all as a child.  I only observed the treatment of blacks.  I heard the names they were called.  I saw the way they were considered second-class (or worse) people.  It was confusing to me, especially since I loved Trisha as a mother and saw absolutely nothing wrong with being black.

When I was a freshman in highschool in Virginia, the first black girl was admitted to our all-white school.  I'd heard she was coming for days.  It was like some disease was on its way, that we should all be prepared.  I'm a bit surprised that they didn't have us vaccinated prior to her arrival.  Joyce Phillips was her name.  I'll never forget going to her and introducing myself.  She barely spoke to me.  I was trying to be nice.  But she came close to totally rebuffing my extension of friendship.  Then, I didn't know why.  Today I do.

Joyce was scared to death.  Lord only knows what she'd been through.  She'd lived her entire life knowing white people viewed her as trash.  She had to use a different drinking fountain.  She couldn't go into white restaurants.  She had to use a different restroom.  There's no doubt in my mind, she knew firsthand the racial bigotry that caused fellow members of her race to be hanged for less reasons than drinking at a white water fountain.  And now she was entering the white world with no other black person at her side.  I know I was not patronizing her.  In my heart, I didn't understand why others considered her any less a person than they did white people.  Trisha had taught me that as a little child.  But Joyce couldn't know what I'd been taught.  She only knew what she had experienced.

Today, over 45 years later, the divide between black and white is still here.  Much progress has been made on the part of blacks.  Much progress has been made on the part of whites.  But we still face the same suspicions, judgemental attitudes and prejudice that we faced back then.  Every time we get a bridge built, someone comes along and either blows it up, or rams the support beneath it.

There is an elephant in the room and I believe we all need to begin talking about that elephant or that elephant will trample us all to death--white and black.

I for one, have a great deal of difficulty trying to talk to blacks because of fear.  I fear I'm going to offend them.  I do not have to measure every word with anyone else--of any other race--as I do my black brothers and sisters.  I don't live in fear of reprisal.  I live in fear of not being understood:  Of being considered a racist for using a word or phrase in a way they understand it to be a slur.  Of being judged by an invisible standard set by the history of men and women I never knew or even cared to know.

Black folks don't like being lumped into a stereotypical description of ghetto-mentality and I don't like being lumped into a stereotypical description of slaveownership-mentality.  When I say a person--be he white or black--is articulate, I am giving a compliment.  I have black friends who are married to white friends.  I have sisters who are married to black men, and they have bi-racial children.

I love to hear black preachers preach.  I love the color they add to their messages.  I love the way they preach in cadence.  I love the fervor with which they preach.  I love the way they use a repetitive poetic statement and expound upon it and plant the Truth in my memory.  I do not like all black preachers--no matter how they preach.  I do not like all white preachers either.

I want to be understood as much as my fellow black brothers and sisters want to be understood.  I'm just as tired of being considered a racist because I happen to be born white, as a black person is of being considered less than human because he/she is born black.  I am sickened to death at the sound of the word racist and repulsed by the actions of one who has the repulsive attitude.

We are living in an age where finally two black coaches can take two integrated teams to the Superbowl and win.  Neither of them lost that game this year.  We are living in a time when a man born to a black father and white mother can run for President of the United States.  Where men and women of every color and every age stand behind that man in primary elections.  It is sad to see the first woman running for President feel she must be black in order to beat that candidate for her party.  It's awful to hear the media continually beat the race drum regarding voters.  Rather than getting the votes...each candidate targets specific votes...according to race, gender, and faith.  What happened to equality and not discriminating?

I pray we can all begin to dialog regarding our different views without hiding beneath white sheets or pulling out ropes to make a point.  God is no respecter of color, but we are.  And until we admit we are, we are no better than the person we are accusing of the same racism.  I have one criteria by which I judge a man, a woman or a candidate for anything.  What fruit do they produce?  I want to be judged likewise.

I have no idea what is going on in the minds of people.  Unless a person is clothed in my skin and lived in my life, they don't either.  And unless each individual with an opinion can read the minds, hearts and motives behind every word and action of another, we are not in any place to judge.

And as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are accountable to God to correct, exhort and reprove.  But we are commanded to do so in love, gentleness and with a spirit of reconciliation.  Less than that is just as ungodly as any act an offending brother or sister has committed.

Oh, dear Lord, that we all be blind to the color of our skin.  Oh, dear Lord, that we could all view others with Your eyes, through the crimson blood of the Lamb rather than through the history of others' discrimination.  Let us "purge out the old leaven" that we "may be fresh dough, still uncontaminated, for Christ, our Passover".  "Let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with leaven of vice and malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened [bread] of purity (nobility, honor) and sincerity and (unadulterated) truth." (I Cor.5:7,8. Amplified)   Let this moment be significant, Lord.  Let it be significant for Your glory and not ours.   Let our need to be right be brought into Your Light and exposed for the wrong that it is.  selahV

[copyrighted, selahVtoday, 2007]

Note: This is edited and reprinted from an article I wrote last year.

DON'T TAKE OFFENSE, NOW...

But some of us are a bit touchy.  We are so easily offended by others that folks have to walk on eggshells around us.  Then there are those we know who are so touchy we have to walk on eggshells around them.  Ask any daughter-in-law how she feels when her husband's mother comes to visit.  Ask any mother-in-law how she feels when she goes home.

In a world of political correctness that has taken things from the word articulate (which I'd consider a compliment if someone said I was articulate) to Christmas, it's hard not to offend someone somewhere with something we say or do.  Ask the media, they'll tell you.

There are battles to wage, to be sure.  There are issues to raise, to be sure.  But there are some things to be ignored too.  There are times we must give one another the benefit of the doubt and think the best of them before talking about the worst of them.

And the same is true when we consider taking on another's banner of persecution or offense.  For a great post on this, go (HERE) and read an excellent article by Chris Gilliam.  It's not for the weak of heart.  Nor is it to be glanced over.  It is a piece worth thinking about.  selahV

DON'T FORGET:

A Call to prayer for CB Scott and his family tomorrow at 5:00 a.m. if at all possible.  If not anytime from now on through Wednesday.  See HERE for particulars.

And DailyIMPACT for my daily devotional thoughts.  See HERE.

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

URGENT CALL TO PRAYER

PRAY NOW, PRAY TONITE, PRAY TOMORROW, PRAY UNCEASINGLY.

Recently I contacted a blogger I hadn't seen around the blogging circuits for quite some time.  I was concerned.  And while that blogger was okay, he had a heartfelt request of me. Most of you know I am honored to pray for you and your needs. It is part of my ministry. It is a command of God to pray for one another.  We are told to share our burdens with one another.  Praying is not a burden for us, but we should be burdened to do it.  And we should count ourselves privileged to pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Please read the request below and join me in intercession for CB Scott and his family.  To add fuel to your prayers, commit yourself to fasting for two hours prior to praying for him and his request.  Along with this continual, intermittent praying through Wednesday, I ask everyone who reads this to pray specifically for these needs at 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning.

I have just learned that CB and his wife, Karen, have four children he'd like to permanently have in his family. They go back to court Wednesday morning.  Pray that this is the last time they have to go through this.  Pray that the children will be able to stay with them permanently.

Since July 29th, 2006, these children, CB and Karen have suffered a great deal of heartbreak, uncertainty and financial pressures.  Lawyers aren't cheap.  Karen and CB love those children and have had to fight for them in several arenas.  CB says, "The story is long and somewhat painful as to what these children have gone through in their lives.  It may be over Wednesday one way or another.  Pray for us that God may move with great finality. I thank you for doing so."

They need prayer cover as they go to court.

"Our goal is to give them a home where they will be loved, taught of the grace of God and given a chance to grow up and break away from the life they came from, becoming productive adults in the Kingdom of God, to their families, community and nation.

I want them to grow up:

Spiritually Strong
Emotionally Strong
Mentally Strong
Physically Strong"

These are their goals.  They are wonderful goals--all of which are in complete agreement with the Word of God.  We are charged to take care of the widows and orphans.  Some children are orphaned even when they have living parents.  I was.  My mother abandoned me when I was three years old. What CB and Karen are doing is beyond the second-mile our Lord Jesus calls them to do. We can do no less than aid them in this steadfast-loving hope by praying and praying fervently.

Set your alarm clocks for 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning. Enter the holy of holies.  Bow before the throne of God and intercede on behalf of these children who need stability, comfort, guidance and love.

May God richly bless you and return to you 100-fold as your prayers bless CB's family as you petition El Elyon on their behalf.

Most gracious Father in Heaven.  Hallowed be Thy name.  Cleanse my from all iniquity and prepare my heart to seek Your holy face.  I come today asking that you hear my prayer.  I seek your mercy be upon this dear family.  Let your convicting Spirit pierce the hearts of those who will make the decisions that affect the lives of these children.  You, Lord, are the one who searches the mind, tries the heart, and wants to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.  Give to the faithful hearts of CB and Karen and more.  Bless them Lord beyond their deepest yearnings.  Move in a mighty way showing Yourself as all-powerful and righteous in judgement. 

Let all who pray for CB, Karen and these children be rewarded with the miracle of Your grace.  Amen.   selahV

YESTERDAY'S GONE, SIEZE THE DAY!

"Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." – Isaiah 43:18-19

Sometimes we get so caught up in yesterday, we fail to see the opportunities of today.

Sometimes we spend so much time reliving what we could have done, should have done, or would have done, that we waste the time we have at the moment.

Let us let go of every weight---bitterness, discord, strife, failures, neglect, misunderstandings, anger, presumptions and assumptions.

Let us forgive.  Let us forget.

See?  No, we cannot for the dust in our eyes from yesterday.

Open the eyes of our hearts Lord.  Open the eyes of our hearts.  Help us to see the new thing You are doing.  Help us perceive it.  Let us comprehend the greatness of Your sovereign control.  Let us grab hold of the faith within our hearts, and visualize the "way" You are "making in the desert and streams in the wasteland" of our lives.  selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

Be sure and visit daily-IMPACT where I write my daily thoughts.

ANOTHER CALL TO PRAYER

Somehow the following call to prayer I wrote yesterday missed the mark in some folks minds as sincere.  While I have never had my prayer requests questioned for their sincerity, I guess when the wiles of satan are in play, there should be no surprise that somewhere along the line, someone would do so.  May I offer it again in the most generic sense I can possibly present it?

Today I call all of you Prayer Warriors to seek the face of God.   Pray that word-games designed to destroy brothers and sisters in Christ cease.  Pray that the self-righteous be brought to shame and repentance.  Pray that the Lord expose their inward sin and evil intentions for what they are.  Pray that they either change or are silenced.  Pray that the intervening Lord so use the righteous that they give Light in the darkness.  Pray that Believers add enough salt to the blogging community that every infectious cancerous word of bitterness burn through the writer's soul.  Pray that God break the bonds of sin so apparent to this world of ego-driven mania that all are humbled and seek His face.

Pray that Christ's discernment and wisdom be mine and apparent in all I write.  Pray that my words manifest the Lord and His goodness, mercy, patience, steadfast loving-kindness and gentleness.  Pray that my words pierce the darkness wherever it needs Light and shed light on whatever is impure.  Pray my friends.  Pray.

IN ADDITION:

Pray that your enemies and all those who find fault with you or a friend, for whatever reason, are blessed of God.  Pray that His glory be manifested in their lives.  Pray that they begin to hear the words of loving admonition towards them and are not blinded by pride, prejudice or presumptions.  Pray that no matter what they do or say that does not bring glory to God, will be transformed by God's Sovereign Hand and used for His divine plan to bring honor to His Holy Son's name.  Pray that folks who are seeking are not turned away by bitterness or sinfulness seen in the people who are called by God's name.  Pray that for every stumbling block there be two hands to lift up those who need Jesus.  Pray that for every word of discouragement and bitterness you read, five words of encouragement and love will follow. 

Today I praise the Lord for the most glorious time in His place of worship.  I will post later on all the miracles I witnessed and the blessings I saw manifested through the provision of God's Holy hand.  Wow!   selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008]

WORDS WORTH READING

Yesterday I went to my friend's website and found a rather long post in which he explained his off-handed, completely innocent remark about Cornbread and Buttermilk in another site's comment stream.  When I began reading his post, I thought to myself how in the world does Cornbread and Buttermilk fit with the title of his post as he being accused of racism by another pastor.

My friend wove a personal experience of a man with a fond memory with an alcoholic father of whom he'd rarely had a fond memory.  He shared some poignant moments of his childhood and detailed a bit of he and his wife's New Year's food choices.  So, unsuspecting me, I thought this was going to be one of those food analogies he so often uses to make a point.  Low and behold, as I read on, I discovered that his words were used to paint him as a racist.  My heart sunk into the innermost parts of my being as I went to my friend's accuser's site and read what he had posted and the comment stream that followed.

I am writing this to let all my readers (some of you know the folks in question, some do not)know that the post written to smear my friend is pitiful.  It is sickening.  It goes beyond the realms of reason in a Christian community.  It does nothing to uplift Christ.  It adds to the swarm of flies seeking sustenance on rotting garbage.  I do not give you the sites for a reason.  It is not worth reading.  It is not worth the time anyone would take to read.

Since my son died, I've come to count time as the most valuable thing we are given on earth besides our relationship with Christ.  Time is what we use to benefit others, to so light the world with our Savior's light within us that He is manifested in all we do and say.  And words worth reading is all that we as Christians should be filling our minds.  We are charged to put on the whole armor of God.  We are charged to guard ourselves from what could lead us into a pathway designed by satan and marked by his evil intentions to destroy us and our witness in this world.

Since becoming a part of the blogging community I have witnessed repeated attempts to smear fellow Christians.  I have spoken out about this time and time again on the respective blogs as I've seen it occur.  Most of the time my words of admonishment and exhortation have been rebuked.  Indeed, I've been accused of being self-righteous, judgemental and ignorant.  I've also been on the receiving end of subtle carefully worded condescending remarks written to persuade folks to think I am unsincere, and in need of their correcting instruction.  Much of this the Lord has led me to treat as that of fools.

Today I am writing this to call all of you Prayer Warriors to seek the face of God.   Pray that these word-games designed to destroy brothers and sisters in Christ cease.  Pray that the self-righteous be brought to shame and repentance.  Pray that the Lord expose their inward sin and evil intentions for what it is.  Pray that they either change or are silenced.  Pray that the intervening Lord so use the righteous that they give Light in the darkness.  Pray that Believers add enough salt to the blogging community that every infectious cancerous word of bitterness burn through the writer's soul.  Pray that God break the bonds of sin so apparent to this world of ego-driven mania that all are humbled and seek His face.

Pray that Christ's discernment and wisdom be mine and apparent in all I write.  Pray that my words manifest the Lord and His goodness, mercy, patience, steadfast loving-kindness and gentleness.  Pray that my words pierce the darkness wherever it needs Light and shed light on whatever is impure.  Pray my friends.  Pray.   selahV

[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2008] 

ANOTHER WEATHER LESSON

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.  :)

(I POSTED THIS THE OTHER DAY.  BUT RECENT READINGS OF SOME POSTS ON OTHER BLOGSITES LED ME TO REPOST THIS with a few tweaks here and there):

"All of us should take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism." (unknown)

We can say what we want.  We can challenge a person's ideas and we can judge another's character by their positions in ideology, philosphy, theology and morality.  We can belittle, accuse, malign or nit-pick others to pieces.  But criticism has only the power we allow it over us.

How did Jesus receive criticism, rejection and accusations?  He never got rattled.  He didn't defend Himself to His accusers.  He was fearless.

He repeatedly assumed the authority by which He'd been granted by the Father in Heaven.  He knew who He was and why He was here.  He never questioned the treatment He received; nor did he whine and cry about it.  He was God. He took on every aspect of humanity, yet remained obedient, perfect and holy.  He was tempted, but He never succumbed to the temptations.

Unlike we humans today, Jesus had no pride.  He left His ego in Heaven before being born in a stable and being placed in an animal's feeding trough.  He never wavered from the Divine plan for His life.

When He was questioned, He had an answer.  Many times He answered with a question.  He didn't have to assume what they were thinking when they asked the question--he knew their hearts.  When He was accused of blasphemy and ridiculed, He exposed His accusers for what they were--hypocrites.  When others sought mercy, He gave mercy.  When the Pharisees conceived and devised plans to trap Him, He had a ready answer.  Though He had the power to call down legions of angels to protect Himself, He did not.

How about us?  Why do we think we must defend ourselves?  Why do we argue and feel it necessary to call in the troops and surround ourselves with the validation and praise of our peers?  I think it is because we know we have guile in our hearts.  We know we are not perfect.  We know without Christ, we are nothing.  We search our brains to excuse our actions and soften our words.  We are full of pride.  We want to ensure that people think well of us.  We hate criticism and balk at honest critiques of our words.

Some folks accept criticism and seek to learn from it.  Others are offended by it and go so far as to get angry over it.  Criticism is simply another person's perspective of what they see in our words, tone, and actions.  Just because someone says it, doesn't make it true.  Just as the weather in the quote above...we should pay no attention to it.  Give it as much thought as the storm clouds do when they bring us rain.  Someone is not going to want rain, no matter how much they need it.    selahV

OLD AND NEW THINGS

A few months ago, my husband chipped away at several layers of paint on this hundred-year-old church bench.   I'd left it weathering through 16 seasons before I started chipping at the peeling white, aqua and mustard yellow.  He took over and prepared it for painting.

Then one weekend my granddaughters came to visit and, together, the girls and I painted it.

They were in a giggle-spasm when I took this photo and I wish today I could remember why.  To be honest, I think they were laughing "just-because".   You know?  Just because they felt like it at the time.  That's what I love about old photographs.  We may not be able to remember every word that was said, but we can look at the picture and remember the feelings we had at the time by the expressions we show on our faces.  This was a fun time we spent together.  We took something very old and made it look new.

The difference between that bench and we Believers in Christ, is that Jesus makes all things new.  As we grow as Christians, our lives can be similar to this old bench---weathered by time and difficulty, layered by unconfessed sin and unresolved conflicts.  And God has to chip away our habits, and correct our self-absorbed nature.  He continually is making us new from the inside out so that we no longer desire what we once desired.

I do hope we can all look back on the times we found ourselves with a fresh touch of His Spirit and can remember Him for the mercy and patience He gives us.   I know I am at the moment.  selahV

[copyrighted, selahV Today, 2008]

KEYBOARDS, PRAYERS AND DOORS

Things went extremely well at the Social Security appointment, my friends.  While what we were told by their representative was true as I wrote it in my earlier post, the expert we met with yesterday was able to redirect the situation completely.  We will not lose our income.  HALLELUHAH!  Nor will it be taken away due to the hours my husband already worked.  We still have limitations but they are better due to this new representative we were assigned.  On top of that, because my husband has finally been classified as disabled, he will not lose his full retirement as he was originally told he would because he was forced to begin collecting Social Security before he reached his retirement age of 66.

All this may seem confusing.  And if not for what we have been through, I'd join anyone in saying the same.  But we went through each step of the maze and hopefully we have come to the end of it.  It is also now okay for me to try and find a job.  I haven't looked for employment for a few reasons:

1. My husband needed me almost 24/7.
2. My health limits what kind of job I could take.
3. My husband didn't want me to work. (I'm a complimentarian by choice.)
4. I thought I couldn't work due to the government regulations. (which are still there, but based on other variables, which we must ever bear in mind.)

So we are excited.  Our income doesn't meet our needs specifically at this time, but we are taking steps to eliminate some of the things we presently find extravagant.  One of those things is this internet service.  In actuality, my internet is not a necessity.  It is a convenience.  It gives me opportunity to connect with the outside world in a way I've been unable to do since my husband's heart-attack in May.  It has afforded me tremendous comfort and encouragement from so many of you, my readers.  I am truly uncertain of the complete direction in which the Lord is leading here.

I have shared with some of you via email that my computer is archaic.  I purchased it in 1990 and upgraded it in 1998.  Today it is nearly 10 years or more behind the system requirements needed to operate in our present technological world.  It constantly shuts down in the middle of emails, web-searches, and post compositions.  (Can't tell you how many times I've had to rewrite what this old computer ate in the middle of my writing something.) I do not have a bunch of programs on it like most folks--just my photo-shop for my pictures.  I am getting a bit leary of the fact that it may crash and I would forever lose those photos and all the writing I've done.  Therefore, I'm tempted to stop using it altogether till I am able to figure out how to save everything externally or "back it up" as one person told me I need to do.  I'm technologically challenged and nearly illiterate when it comes to what I could do.

So, since you were all such a blessing in the intervention of our social security situation, may I impose on you again to pray for me as I decide what course I need to take in this situation?  I've contacted some tech-friends in blogworld that helped me discern the problems I'm having with the computer to be because it is an obsolete system fraught with multiple impasses.  But perhaps someone out there has some suggestions I haven't considered.

In my Bible reading yesterday, I came across this passage that has given me pause:  "For a wide door of opportunity for effectual [service] has opened to me [there, a great and promising one], and [there are] many adversaries." 1 Corinthians 16:9.

Paul was in Ephesus and, though he wanted to travel to Corinth to help them, the Lord opened doors of opportunity in which he was led to stay with the Ephesian Believers.  Even with the wide door of opportunity, Paul had his adversaries.  I have adversaries, too.  Bad health.  Financial strains.  Obsolete system.  I am praying about what the Lord is telling me here.

I personally want to see that the Lord is telling me to stay here in the blogworld with my ministry of writing.  But circumstances are leading me to believe He may be telling me He is opening another door of opportunity for me to minister here in Lawton that I have not known exists at all.  I am considering the possibilities of me entering the workforce again.  I've found a couple of positions that appeal to me which could help take the stress and pressure off my husband to provide for us.  (Although, I won't know if those are valid doors till I apply.) So, if there are any wise counselors out there--and you do know I highly regard many of you as wise and reasonable folks--leave your footprint here or send me an email with your thoughts.

Thanks so very much for all your prayers.  I really felt them in miraculous ways.  And I pray God blesses you as much as you have blessed me with your intercessions on my behalf.  selahV

WEATHER LESSON

"All of us should take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism." unknown)

We can say what we want.  We can challenge a person's ideas and we can judge another's character by their positions in ideology, philosphy, theology and morality.  We can belittle, accuse, malign or nit-pick others to pieces.  But criticism has only the power over the person who is criticized unless he or she allows it power. 

One of my favorite characteristics regarding the example Jesus exemplifies through the reading of God's Word, is how He received criticism, rejection and accusations.  He never got rattled.  He didn't defend Himself to His accusers.  He was fearless.

He repeatedly assumed the authority by which He'd been granted by the Father in Heaven.  He knew who He was and why He was here.  He never questioned the treatment He received; nor did he whine and cry about it.  He was God. He took on every aspect of humanity, yet remained obedient, perfect and holy.  He was tempted, but He never succumbed to the temptations.

Unlike we humans today, Jesus had no pride.  He left His ego in Heaven before being born in a stable and being placed in an animal's feeding trough.  He never wavered from the Divine plan for His life.

When He was questioned, He had an answer.  Many times He answered with a question.  He didn't have to assume what they were thinking when they asked the question--he knew their hearts.  When He was accused of blasphemy and ridiculed, He didn't defend Himself---He reasoned with the accusers.  When others sought mercy, He gave mercy.  When the Pharisees conceived and devised plans to trap Him, He had a ready answer.  Though He had the power to call down legions of angels to protect Himself, He did not.

How about us?  Why do we think we must defend ourselves?  Why do we argue and feel it necessary to call in the troops and surround ourselves with the validation and praise of our peers?  I think it is because we know we have guile in our hearts.  We know we are not perfect.  We know without Christ, we are nothing.  We search our brains to excuse our actions and soften our words.  We are full of pride.  We want to ensure that people think well of us.  We hate criticism and balk at honest critiques of our words.

Some folks accept criticism and seek to learn from it.  Others are offended by it and go so far as to get angry over it.  Criticism is simply another persons perspective of what they see in our words, tone, and actions.  Just because someone says it, doesn't make it true.  Just as the weather in the quote above...we should pay no attention to it.  Give it as much thought as the storm clouds do when they bring us rain.  Someone is not going to want rain, no matter how much they need it.    selahV

(I KNOW I POSTED THIS THE OTHER DAY.  BUT RECENT READINGS OF SOME POSTS ON OTHER BLOGSITES LED ME TO REPOST THIS).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow!  It's hard to believe another year has passed.  So much has happened this year.

Some of my joy has come from the several lunches I got to have with my granddaughters at their school.  This photo shares some of that joy.

My 39-year-old daughter became a grandmother--making me a great-grandmother.  Isn't that something?

My husband survived a heart attack that should have killed him, given the fact he had 100% blockage in a main artery to the largest area of his heart,  2 arteries 95% blocked and two other arteries 75% blocked.  Isn't that amazing?  We were so blessed to have a surgeon who overrided the cardiologist who wanted to send him home with a pinched nerve as a diagnosis.  Isn't God good to have intervened?

My 16-year-old grandson survived a motorcycle accident that left him with a broken neck, and broken back.  And not only that but the Lord protected him from permanent injury.  He healed in less than the 4 months predicted.

Somehow the Lord miraculously provided for our physical and financial needs during my husband's unemployment due to his congestive heart failure.  We witnessed His love through His people all over the United States.

My deceased son's wife was remarried this year.  7-7-07.  Many feelings crowded my heart with that event.  My granddaughters have a stepfather.  I have opened my heart to him and receive him as my own.  I am so grateful for him.  I truly love the young man and pray for his love to grow for my granddaughters, their mother and the Lord.  I pray their love with grow for him. 

I've met dozens of new brothers and sisters in Christ through this venue of communication.  I am so very very grateful for all of you.  I cannot begin to tell you how much you have ministered to me in my hours of grief over the loss of my son, the days of uncertainty with the health of my husband, and myself, the struggles of life due to all of this.  Words are inadequate to describe the needs you have filled with words of comfort, laughter, giggles, chuckles and encouragement.  You have blessed my heart beyond comprehension.  Truly, you have.  I've felt your prayers and know much of what has happened is a result of your intercessory prayers on my behalf.  Thank you.

I started blogging a 15 months ago and had a couple of people who read my blog for months.  Then the Lord began bringing more and more of you my way.  Needless to say I am graced with the presence of far more than a couple of people these days.   I pray it continues to increase in number in proportion to the blessing I can be to others.

I made a few resolutions last year.  One in particular was to eat healthier.  I strayed from that when I started eating more bread than bananas and more cookies than carrots.  I resolve to reverse that this year.

This year I resolve to memorize one verse each week from scripture.  I have numerous verses I already have memorized that have served me so well in my life as a Christian.  I seek to hide more of His Word in my heart this year.  I want to have a ready answer to be a balm of Gilead to those in need.

I also resolve to be more sensitive to the needs of others.  I want to hear God's voice clearer and heed the direction of His Spirit in my life.  I want greater discernment.

I am praying for opportunities to share Jesus with the lost in the world.  And already the Lord is bringing people into my pathway.  Pray that my words will bring them ever closer to receiving God's grace.  I'm quite excited about that.

What are you excited about?  selahV