AN OKLAHOMA HIGHWAY PATROLMAN BEHIND ME TODAY.
I didn't think he planned on stopping me. I was wrong. I saw the flashing lights just as I ended the road construction and moved into the righthand lane. "Oh, my gosh. Was it when I sped up after I saw him behind me so close. When I was trying to fix the cruise?" I pulled over and got out my driver's license. I knew what was coming. Sorta.
He appeared at the window and I opened the one behind me. It was my daughter's car and I didn't know which was which. The officer looked at me like I was drunk. "I stopped you for several reasons."
Several reasons? "What? What did I do?"
"For starters, changing lanes without a blinker." Now I thought he was drunk. There was only one lane. The other was blocked off by orange and white barrels. Why would I need to signal when there was only one lane?
"What do you mean?"
"When you pulled over to the right you didn't signal. Then when you stopped you didn't signal." What was he talking about. There was no one behind me but him. And the lane was closed on the other side. I was confused.
"You mean I should have signaled that I was moving out of your way and onto the side of the road?" I thought, this is wacko, but then he's the boss. He's the authority, not me.
"Yes, anytime you change lanes you have to signal." I knew that but this was a futile argument. "And you also almost hit one of those barrels back there. And when you sped up, I clocked you at 71 miles an hour." Okay. Wait a minute. This is nuts. I just fell off a turnip truck.
"No way!" He looked at me like I'd smacked his face. Time to back off. "Look, this is my daughter's car. I'm not familiar with all the gadgets on it. I was trying to set the cruise when I saw you behind me. I didn't even know you were a police officer. I can't figure it out. I looked up and saw the barrel. I'm on my way to Texas to have lunch with my granddaughters and now I'm going to be late." I started to cry. Real, genuine, frustrated, sincere tears. "Look, officer. I'm sorry. No excuses. Whatever you said I did, I'm sure I did. I'm sorry." I sniffed my nose which was now dripping. "I need to go."
"I need your license and proof of insurance." I handed him the license.
"I have no idea where the insurance card is. This is my daughter's car."
"I'm gonna go back to my car with this and you look for the insurance card."
He left and I looked for a tissue. My nose was running. I looked at my watch. I was going to be late and miss my youngest granddaughter's lunchtime. Tears came stronger. Silly, I know. But I hadn't seen her in over a month and she was going to be really disappointed if I showed up to see her elder sister for lunch and didn't come eat with her, too. My mind raced. Maybe I'll just turn around and go home. I'm over 45 minutes away and right now I have exactly 51 minutes to get there.
The officer came back to the window. I gave him the insurance card I found in the console. He handed it back and gruffed, "This is expired." Great! Just what I needed. An expired card. "Tell your daughter she needs to put the new one in the car."
Tell my daughter? Is he kidding? I'm not going to tell my daughter I got pulled over by the police and he said I was going 71 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone and I almost hit a barrel!!! Is he nuts?!!
"Oh, and you need to tell your daughter that she has a commercial tag on her vehicle." Well, duh. Of course it's a commercial tag. They use it for my son's-in-law construction business. I got to use it today because my van is a dilapitated piece of junk with no exhaust system, no airconditioning, a bad battery and leaking shocks. Right at that moment, I wished I was sitting in my 1994 Chevy Astro in all its dilapitated glory. This wouldn't have happened had I been in it. I KNOW my car. "Yes, it's a commercial tag, so it needs the name of the business on the side or bold black identification lettering." Whatever; just give me the ticket, I looked at my watch.
He must have read my mind. "I need you to sign here. I'm giving you a warning." How in the world did I get a warning? With all the laws I'd broken, he should have been hauling me off to the pokey. I didn't argue.
"Thank you, officer. I'm sorry. I know the majority of accidents are caused by inattention."
"And speed, and failure to signal, or stop and alcohol."
"Well, at least I don't drink." He smiled.
"Have a nice day, maam. And drive safely." I looked at my watch. I now had 40 minutes to travel 45 minutes. I've never been so tempted in all my life to set the cruise for 6 miles above the speed limit. But I didn't.
As I cruised along Highway 44 on my way to Texas, I pondered what had just occurred. Unknowingly, I had broken laws. I may have had some good excuses--but they weren't good reasons. I did it and I deserved a ticket. I still can't believe I sped up to 71 mph while trying to figure out how to set the cruise at 55 mph. But isn't that funny? I'm so conscientious of going the speed limit that I speed trying to ensure I stay within the limit? Only me. My tears began to dry. I was going to be late. I would miss over half of Abby's lunch time, but I would at least be able to see her.
I took a deep breath. Bright green rolling plains begged my vision. New mown hay lay in orderly yellow piles where it had been freshly cut. I could smell it. 
A brilliant display of blue flowers lined the highway and seemed to climb the embankments. Oklahoma's vivid orange Indian Blanket patched the ground in between the blue. Three-foot sprays of yellow flowers swayed in the ditch and along barbwired fencelines. A herd of cattle dotted pastures resembling mixed nuts all sprinkled on the green grass. A group of palaminos grazed with little foals. Peace cleared the cobwebs of frustration from my mind.
"Thank you, Lord. It could have been worse. I could have hit another car. I could have totaled my daughter's vehicle. The officer could have given me a ticket I couldn't afford. Thank you, for his mercy and Yours, Lord." [copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2007]
