An odd thing happened yesterday. I was sitting in my recliner reading various articles on faith. I was putting some ideas together for some blog-posts. I was studying mostly about Saul's conversion when my daughter came into my house and said, "Mom, you know you have to pick up Dad, today, don't you?"
"No I don't," I asserted, "today is Thursday."
"No, Mom. Today is Friday." I don't know why I thought it was Thursday, but I did. I don't know why I debated the day of the week with my daughter, she's the one with schedules to heed and calendars to watch. It was just one of those times I couldn't grasp which day of the week it was. Even as I rushed around to get ready to go pick up my husband from work, I had trouble digesting the fact that it was Friday. Nevertheless, I quickly did my hair, and grabbed my license, cell-phone, and prescriptions for Wal-mart (figured I may as well kill two birds with one stone), and headed out the door.
As I drove down the road I considered how odd it was that I was so certain I didn't have to get my husband that day. I was certain it was Thursday. Yet, when my daughter spoke, I believed her and got ready and went to get my husband. What I wanted to do was finish reading the commentary on Saul's conversion experience. But the interruption necessitated that I leave.
It occurred to me that Saul was certain of his mission for God. He was so certain he got orders from the high-priest to go get those Christians in Damascus. Then Jesus interrupted Saul's journey. Saul's mission was no longer a certainty. What Saul wanted to do, what Saul thought was right and righteous, was not what Jesus wanted.
I thought about several posts I have in my draft status and haven't published. I thought about a few things I want to see happen in the next few weeks. I thought about some things I want to do. Are they all what God wants?
How often have you heard someone tell you what they are doing is what God wants them to do? How often do we think we are heading in the right direction and are certain of the timing, only to discover we are wrong? Last night I read an article about someone else who got interrupted in the midst of something very important. After sharing the reason for the interruption, they proceeded to explain why they agreed to a particular request:
"I didn't want..." "I want..." "I want...."
Ever wonder how many things were done in life for all the wrong motives because of what "I-WANT" to see happen?
Lucifer wanted to be as God, so he rebelled. Eve wanted to be as wise as God so she ate of the tree of good and evil. Cain wanted God's approval, so he killed Abel. Sarah wanted a son so she had her husband, Abraham, sleep with Hagar. Esau wanted porridge so he traded his birthright to Jacob. Jacob wanted Esau's blessing, so he schemed with his mother to deceive his father, Isaac. Moses wanted justice for a fellow Hebrew slave being beaten, so he killed an Egyptian. David wanted Bathsheba so he had her husband killed. Judas wanted to force Jesus to show Himself as the Messiah, so he betrayed Jesus with a kiss, then regretted what he did and hung himself. Saul wanted orders to persecute followers of The Way, so he got orders from the high priests and headed for Damascus. Then God stepped in, to correct and mop up the messes.
What do you want? Is it what God wants? Are you sure? Will it bring Him glory? Are you like Saul, do you think you know what God wants? Do you follow Jesus, or a leader? Do you follow the Word, or the desires of your heart? Do you do what you want for God's glory or your own notoriety?
I'm still working on Saul's conversion. Still thinking about God's intervention. Still pondering the way in which He'd have me go and what He'd have me write. For now, I am trusting this is what God wants. I pray I hear Him correctly. selahV
"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." Isaiah 30:21
Great post.
Yes, we want what we want. And quite often is doesn't have anything to do with loving God, or our neighbors.
And Paul (Saul)? What was he doing when he made his "free-will" decision for Christ?
A real God doesn't come begging, hat in his hand, "please believe in me"...He acts. He grabs hold of us and turns our hearts around. Makes us believers.
Thanks.
Posted by: Steve Martin | June 17, 2012 at 12:52 AM
Hello again, Steve! What was Saul (Paul) doing? Well, depends on how far back ya wanna look at Scripture. Seeing as how Stephen preached an entire sermon and old Saul-Paul was standing there watching and hearing the message. He not only witnessed his stoning, Acts 8:1 says he approved of it. You'd think when Stephen asked God not to hold the sin against them, Saul/Paul might have had a bit of conviction going on in his heart. I'd say, he was "resisting" God's Word being preached. So when the Lord showed up on the road to Damascus, Saul's meeting in the middle of the road, was so illuminating he was blinded by the brilliance stronger than the sun and fell to the ground. (What a humbling, he must have felt)
Then God audibly convicted him of his sin and asked why he kept fighting the conviction [kicking against the goads]. So Saul/Paul called out right away, "Who are you, Lord" and Jesus told Saul exactly who He was and what He wanted Him to do. Paul was immediately convicted of his sin and did not hesitate with more questions but obeyed Christ's call upon his life. In Acts 26:19, Saul told King Agrippa, "I was not disobedient to the vision".
I had a similar conversion experience that I recall quite vividly, Steve. I sure understand a portion of what Saul/Paul went through.
Wow, do I ever! It is an amazing thing when God shakes the earth beneath your life and calls on you. Though I, like the Jews, "resisted the Holy Spirit" (Acts 7:51) many times, God was patient with me and showed me incredible mercy till I placed my faith in Him when He spoke to me through several circumstances and people and preaching. No, God did not make me follow Him, but He showed me very clearly the consequence of remaining on my "road to Damascus" or following Him in faith and obedience. He clearly showed me what He'd done for me at Calvary. I still remember the sermon and the explanation Bro. Conley shared about the crucifixion. God doesn't have to do anything anymore, He's already done all that is necessary. He died for us.
I had made a pretty rotten mess of things doing it my way, God was gracious to show me what He'd given up to save me from my sin, and offered Himself to me one more time. There was no doubt in my mind that day, that His Spirit was showing Himself to me, one last time. If I didn't believe Him, I would remain in the darkness the rest of my days. (The Spirit does not strive with us forever, you know). I did not want that. I wanted Him right then and there. And He came into my life and changed my heart and mind and entire outlook on life. It was quite an amazing time and journey from that day forward.
No, Steve, God doesn't come begging. He is GOD, the Most High and Holy God. He shows us that He is God, when we hear His voice and humbly fall on our faces, turn from our sin and to Him in faith. Then we receive Him in all His fullness. And He most certainly "acts", and changes us as we abide in Him and He abides in us. There is no describing His peace that floods a soul, His joy that explodes and releases us from the bondage of our sin forever. It is phenomenal. Simply phenomenal. I am so grateful, aren't you? selahV
Posted by: selahV-hariette | June 17, 2012 at 03:07 PM
What God Wants. It really hit me hard today as I read your blog.To be honest, I would have to say that I want my way most of the time, and want it now, not waiting for the Holy Spirit to guide me on where he would best use me for His Glory. I fall short on waiting for What God Wants in my life. Instead of me,me,me, all the time, I need to let Go of me, and Let God Have His Way.
Posted by: Peggy Scott | June 17, 2012 at 05:56 PM
Hi Peggy, in the past 7 years I have had so many portions of my life stripped from me. Much of what I want is no longer attainable. I have learned to accept most of it and let go of the rest. Each day is a test of our will against that of our Father's. I pray He scores higher more and more. selahV
Posted by: selahV-hariette | June 17, 2012 at 06:24 PM