OKAY. We walked today.
SOME MIGHT SAY IT'S NO BIG DEAL. But to me it was huge. Come tomorrow it will have been thirty days since my husband's heart attack. Doctors wanted him up and walking 18 minutes a day the first week home from the hospital. Didn't happen. Too weak. He couldn't get any breath at all when he stood up. Gasped for air. It was scary.
The second week he was suffering from fatigue, and of all things, excruciating hemorrhoids. No walking was done.
Yesterday we spent the day trying to figure out why his blood pressure hovered around 75/53. After consulting the doctor, we took him off BP meds, his blood pressure went up to 114/78. That was good. I didn't take it this morning. I waited till we got home from the outpatient clinic. I had to take him for an echocardiogram today and so we decided to go to the mall afterwards. His pain was finally manageable and his breathing easier. He just had to walk slowly. We made two trips around our mall and I think that it measures about one mile all the way round.
The second trip was a bit slower than the first but he made it all the way around. When we got to the exit door, we stopped to chat with a lady we knew and I looked up and my husband's nose was bleeding. That in itself might not have been a big deal if not for the blood I saw when he upchucked his pills the day before. Two and two made trouble in my mind. So we get home from walking the mall and I take his blood pressure, fully expecting it to be at least what it was last night. Nope. 98/73. What does it all mean? I don't know. Do I keep calling the doctors? Or just let it go?
I think about letting it go, but you know what? We ignored his fatigue and tiredness for over five years. We ignored his lack of energy and occasional pain in his back between his shoulder blades. And then one early morning in May, he had a major heart attack which ended with 5 by-pass open-heart surgery. We discovered not only was his heart a mess, but his thyroid was non-existent on the low end of the chart. So maybe we shouldn't take little things for granted. Maybe the little things will point us to the bigger things.
I think we should be vigilant in our Christian lives too. It's not the big things that come into our lives that destroy us. It's not the crises of life. It's the little things we neglect to monitor in our lives. A little white lie. (are any white or little?) A bad attitude. (does a person cutting you off in traffic count?) A longer wait than necessary in the doctor's office, the cafeteria line, the restaurant? (is patience really a virtue?)
What is God doing with all these little inconveniences in our lives? I think He's building up our muscles of self-control, trust in Him, reliance upon Him, love and temperance. If not for those things, we won't be ready for the big crisis. And if we aren't ready, the crisis can be daunting...overwhelming and incredibly difficult to endure.
Well, I've gotta go call the doctor and see if nose bleed after walking is something to be concerned about. Let's hope not. selahV
[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2007]
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