She's a very pensive child. Thinks deep like her daddy. Always asking questions. Hard questions.
This time she asked if I'd ever heard her daddy say he wanted to die at age 32. I told her no. Her daddy wanted to live and had lots he wanted to do.
Her daddy was excited about what God was doing in his life at the time of his death. I'd received an email from him just 4 days before that said so many things were happening he didn't even know how to begin telling me. He was happy about life. He wasn't happy with the time he was allowed to see his daughters~~he wanted more time~~but he was content with the Lord's provision and grace.
No. Her daddy didn't want to die. It was not part of his thinking. But obviously it was part of hers.
Someone had told her that her daddy had wanted to die at age 32--that he didn't want to live to be old. I asked her how she felt about that. She said, "It makes me feel like Daddy didn't love me. If he didn't want to live, then he didn't want to be around me."
I assured her that her daddy loved her beyond comprehension. We talked about the times they shared before he died. The joy she felt.
Why would someone tell a 9 year-old girl her deceased father, who died in a tragic accident, wanted to die? What sense does this make? What good does it do? What harm will it produce in her emotional development and stability? Unanswerable questions.
Grief produces enough questions, enough whys. Why add to the confusion, the heartache and pain with things which do not help to heal, comfort or strengthen?
Pastors, counselors, friends and family, I implore you to tell your congregations, your friends and family to swallow such information. Even if it is true. If you love someone, you won't want to hurt them with minuetia that harms them. selahV
[copyrighted, SelahV Today, 2007]