She's my husband's mom. She's 89. She didn't want to go to a nursing home or an assisted living community. She said, "I'm not ready to give up family". In truth, she'd lived by herself with her husband for decades. Her children had lived on their own, too. Even though her youngest son had taken her in a few years back, he'd pretty much had his own home with his own wife, also. Her daughter, also lived alone in her own home. So, it's not like mom was giving up any family to live in an assisted living situation. She just refused to make that transition. So her adult children, set aside their own interests, lifestyles and futures to make room for her in their homes.
With my husband and I, we let go of our retirement situation and offered to purchase a home to accommodate her needs. Unfortunately, that meant a drastic change for everyone. She had to move from Florida to Oklahoma. And we had to give up our financially secure situation and invest in a less secure situation that more than tripled our cost of living. It meant letting go of the dream I had of my husband finally quitting his full-time job and staying home with me. We'd need everything we were making and more to be able to provide a home for his mom so she didn't have to go to an assisted living facility.
I wanted her to have as pretty, happy, and colorful space we could find. We bought a house that met most of our needs but would have to be drastically renovated for her limitations.
We enlarged the 24-inch bathroom door opening to 32 inches to make room for a walker. We took out the tub, changed the drain, and put in new fixtures to make it more accessible to her.
She wanted turquoise for her bedroom, so we painted her bedroom in turquoise and aqua. I carried that color into her bathroom as an accent so she'd feel happy in every way I knew to help ascetically.
As we looked for a home to purchase, I spent a lot of time looking for one that had a flat driveway with as few steps as possible into the front entrance. I wanted a treed lot with a fenced backyard so she could go outside and walk her dog. We looked for one with a porch so she could sit outside and enjoy fresh air and watch the birds and squirrels at play. It took some doing, but we found one.
Below is the bedroom I decorated for her in hopes of making her latter years as happy and comfortable as possible.
I bought mom a digital clock with huge numbers so she'd be able to see the time without having to ask. Her Macular degeneration limits her sight. We purchased a full-size adjustable bed so she could move it up and down and also accommodate her little Chihuahua that she insists must sleep with her. We got her a 50-inch television set so she could see it as best as she can (mostly she listens to it).
Mom has been quite homesick for Florida and her daughter. But we are doing our best to try and make a comfortable situation for her. I left most of her walls blank in case she wanted to choose some things for herself to decorate with. Transitions are not easy. But I'm learning. Each day has its own challenges and changes and adjustments. For everyone.
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