I was lying in my hammock looking at the tiny leaves unfolding on the pecan trees. I lay there for quite a while thinking about all kinds of things. Mother's Day. My lousy health. My wonderful grandchildren. My phenomenal daughter. My life in general. My writing aspirations. My uselessness. My significance. A billion thoughts flitted through my brain--much like the tiny bugs racing about the air. I thought how great it was to have that hammock and the joy I've had in it the past three years since Chad's been gone.
The girls and I have laughed so much in it. Sang song after song. I even fell asleep in it one evening when sleep alluded me. I remember how brilliant the full moon had been that night. I awoke to birds singing and the sun rising.
No more.
When I got up from the hammock, it broke. It now has a huge gaping hole in it. Rotted. Sometimes that's how I feel. Like there is this great gaping hole inside of me that has eaten straight through to my soul. But in time, the Lord, He fills it back up again and repairs the damage done by heartache and time. selahV
This moved me deeply. I hope you'll get a new hammock in time. So glad we have the Lord. Can't imagine the grief and pain without Him to bear us up during those times we feel that gaping hole. Love you.
Vicki
Posted by: Vicki | May 06, 2008 at 11:23 PM
thanks Vicki. I hope I can get another one soon, too. they are ridiculously priced. This one is the one my son bought Abby for her third birthday (the last he celebrated with her).
I'm glad God sends me folks like you in these times to fill that gaping hole. selahV
Posted by: selahV | May 06, 2008 at 11:29 PM