The absolute most devastating moment in my life was the day I learned my 33 year-old son was dead. A massive explosion of pain struck me in the gut. My mind was a billion pieces of shrapnel whirling through space:
Denial. Shock. Questions. Anger. Memories. Scripture passages.
Inevitably, memories and promises from God won the battle for my sanity.
The single most gripping passage that came to mind was "My grace is sufficient." I argued with God a lot in the following hours, days, weeks, months and years about the sufficiency of His grace.
I asked, will I ever feel peace again? Will peace ever be a reality? How can I be at peace when my heart is so very broken...when every shred of confidence in God's watchcare and omnipotent protection had been ripped from my soul? Each time I struggled against harsh reality, pain returned. It wasn't until I rested in His promises that peace became the new reality.
Days followed that I felt numb. Numbness is not peace. Even in numbness turmoil hovers like a thick cloud of despair. Writing about this brings the monster of sadness to the forefront of my mind. However...
I know that this is not where God wants to meet me. I know this because peace is not found in despair. It's not found in turbulence. Peace is found in Him. I must look beyond the turmoil and visualize that God is a like a gigantic magnet-- He holds the turmoil at bay. He shields it from my spirit and soul. I am in the palm of His hand and nothing can take me from it. Nothing-- not heartache, not rejection, not turmoil, not brokenness, nor death.
Life is not just this space--this time--this glimpse in eternity. I learned this truth.
I learned to look to my Father for joy. The joy of the LORD is my strength. He alone can give me peace. The world offers inadequate substitutions, distractions, diversions. Christ gives peace. Here is the key--the roadmap to peace:
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
5 Let your moderation [consideration, graciousness, reasonableness, gentleness] be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice. Public consideration--gentle, thoughtful behavior. Don't worry--instead pray with thanksgiving and let God know what you want. Then...
...then the peace of God comes through Christ Jesus. He keeps my heart and mind at peace when I rejoice in Him. Rejoice...repeatedly rejoice. "Do not mourn as those without hope." My hope is in Christ-- not temporary situations, relationships, or worldly comforts. His grace is indeed sufficient. He is enough. "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want." He will keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on--focused and resting on-- Him.
So, "Come all ye who are weary, take my yoke upon you, I will give you rest."~Jesus
O, LORD... give peace, comfort and joy to those who stumble upon this post today. Let them know the all-sufficient grace that can be theirs when they turn their eyes and attention to You. Give them strength and courage to meet the tasks before them, to make the decisions they need to make to leave the world's cares behind them and walk with You. Amen. selahVtoday by hariettepetersen
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