SelahV Today

HUMOR IS...

IN THE EYES AND EARS OF THE BEHOLDER....I suppose.

It's difficult to joke around with some folks.  Then at times, with the very same person, it's easy.  I think it has to do with a particular person's circumstances at the time they receive what another tries to convey as humorous.  Other times, receipt of another's offering of humor is circumvented by some preconceived notion of the practicing comediene.  Humor is relative only to the point of what another's perpective is.  For instance...

Funniest Home Videos can be hilarious with one situation, or painfully bizarre.  I never quite got the slapstick humor of the three stooges.  I've tried my hand at the Don Rickles kind and had it virtually slapped at times.  Invariably it is when I try to be one of the crowd and find out I never was or never will be one of the crowd.

Whatever.  I've found that when I'm in a jovial mood, I tend to think everyone is feeling my funny.  Other times, I am quite sensitive to the possibility that someone will not find my offerings of humor very funny at all.  Folks who know me well, know I am one who likes to join in the frivolity of others.  Yet, even so, I hold back quite often because I do not feel safe in environments beyond my very tiny world.  Occasionally I step out of my comfort zone and find I would be far more comfortable back in my home-zone.  If you get my drift.

Ever think you're being funny and find that others do not appreciate your sense of humor?  Ever wish you'd never even tried?  Ever think that because you are connected in a tenuous thread of communication that seems rather binding--that you assumed was binding--as a Christian, a family member, fellow church member and thread unravels without a hint of warning?  Ever think that you have the liberty to kid around..., only to discover you have no liberty...that you've overstepped your boundaries as a fellow--, uh, well, anything...sister, brother?

I have.  As recent as today.

Sometimes I get a bit weary of always being serious.  I like to kid around like everyone else.  I like to goof off and join in the frivolity I see in the internet connections we have.  However...

(there's always however with me, remember?)

...however...times are tough right now.  People's lives are a hanging by threads of discord and suspicion.  One cannot always judge the timing of a punchline or the difference between a poke in the ribs, or a punch in the nose by another's virtual fist.

I think, for me, I shall crawl back into my shell of silence and simply stick to the serious side of life.  It seems to be better received.  And should I be tempted to take my fingers into another's territory of gay-merry-making, I shall bite my nails and paint them with pepper instead.  I'm sure the taste of hot pepper will generate less heat than my ill-timed piece of humor, anyway.

All things being equal, not all things are equally funny.  To some folks anyway.  selahV

HOW TO WIN BLUE-COLLAR BLOG MADNESS by Anonymous Guest Writer

1: Agree with as many people in the world as you can in three weeks and follow instructions in #5.

2: Compliment all the people who write on the reformed blogs.

3: Support the other reformed bloggers and link to their posts.

4: Write for any of the reformed blogs.

5: Beg everyone you know to vote for you.

6: "Friend" and "Follow" all the commenters at Founders, SBC Voices, and every other person you can.  Be very very nice and heed #4 and 5.

7: Be pro-nickname passage.

8: Write articles dissing Peter Lumpkins, and praising Mark Driscoll, Jonathan Merritt & the YRR and Dr. Al Mohler.  (Just kidding)

9: With any leftover time, try and write something that someone wants to read.

10:  And for pete's sake...be a man! 

[Disclaimer: I'm just kidding! selahV]

"The Donald" Trumps OBAMA 2012 Announcement

That's right!  Word is out that "The Donald" plans to stand on the steps of Barack Hussein Obama's birthplace to announce his candidacy for 2012.  Supposedly his announcement will coincide with a groundbreaking ceremony to restore the homeplace.

The Donald foresees a fantastic tourist attraction, complete with condos encircling the vacation paradise.  He is certain it will be a huge return on his investment as he places on display the original "birth certificate" purchased in a private auction bid against the Smithsonian Museum for 8.5 million dollars.

"The Donald" further plans to give all proceeds from the attraction to finance his lakefront condos for all who are displaced due to the massive restoration project.  Nestled beneath a giant cypress tree, the one-room Kenyan hut was crane-lifted to the second floor of the newly built museum which will house the well-guarded and much debated birth certificate.

Need I say it?

No?

Well, shucks, I should have known you'd know it's just

APRIL FOOL'S! 

 

CLUNKER SHOPPING

Not really.  The U.S. Government bought all the clunkers and crushed them...which drove the cost of used cars to sky-rocket.

However, I just had to tell ya what happened when hubby and I went shopping to see what I can get with the $9,007 Allstate wants us to accept for our 2007 Malibu.  I called a dealer on Thursday and the lady told me she definitely had the 2007 Malibu I'd seen on their website.  Her 2007 Malibu was listed for $11,995.  Uh...that's about $3,000 more than Allstate is offering me.

THAT isn't even the funny part.  I go inside the dealership and we asked to see the car they have and he says he can't show it to us because it is in the body shop.  I asked, "What happened?"  I called on Thursday and told the salesgal that I'd be in to see it.

"It had a little accident," he explained.

"What kind of accident?"

"Don't know. But it's been in the bodyshop for 3 weeks."

Now I ask you folks...what in the world can a person do when the comparable vehicles are in worse shape than my car and they are asking more for it than I am being given? 

But that ain't all.

We went to another dealership and checked on other cars and they didn't have any 2007 Malibus.  They only had 2010s.  However, they had a 2004 Malibu (Yes, that is a "4", I didn't mis-type it), Malibu with 82,000 miles on it and it was selling for only $1,000 dollars more ($9,999), than what Allstate is offering us for our 2007 Malibu with only 64,000 miles on it.

Friends...we are living in a very very strange world.  I'm thinking about buying a horse.  selahV

SPRING FORWARD!

That's right.  Saturday night, we have to turn back set our clocks forward, reset our watches, reset the microwaves, ovens, and anything else that has a time-controlled start and stop.  An email came today from one of my radically funny friends who reminded me again that I was going to lose an hour's sleep on Saturday:

"Daylight savings time is also near; I wish that every politician who voted for it would have to reset every clock of every registered voter in his/her district!  Don’t you appreciate the government demanding that you get up, and go to bed an hour earlier for most of the year?"

As I read my friend's bi-monthly newsletter, I had to laugh.  Kindred spirit, he is.  However, I don't think I can cozy up to the idea of having a bunch of strange politicians come to my house for anything.  Just saying... selahV 

CAPTION THIS... for Friday-Fun

 

YES, THEY CAN!!!

FUNNY LITTLE STORY

There were a couple of city workers being observed one day.  One would dig a hole.  The other would fill it.  Over and over again these two workers diligently repeated their efforts.  One would dig a hole; the other would fill it.  This continued all morning.  The observer finally went over to the workers and queried.  "I've been watching you all day.  You have been working diligently and with great effort expended.  However, I was wondering if you could explain to me exactly why every time you dig a hole, your co-worker immediately fills it?"

"Sure, there are usually three of us.  But the one who plants the trees called in sick today."

This story reminds me of some of the blogs we read.  Someone writes a post.  And someone comes along and digs it up.  Then commenters come along and fill it up again.  Then someone observes the digging and filling and writes another post on their own blog property.  And some of the same folks go over and start digging and filling.   I wonder.

Don't you think it's wonderful when we see some folks come along and plant trees?   selahV

GENTLEMEN, PROTECT YOURSELVES!

SOMEONE is out to get you.  SOMEONE does not like what you say.  SOMEONE does not like what you think.  SOMEONE does not like what you do.  SOMEONE sits in wait and hopes to retaliate, avenge themselves or a friend of their own.

Gentlemen (and perhaps ladies), protect yourselves.

This is a "must-have" for all men and boys for Christmas!  Go HERE to find out how to order for that one person in your life you hope to spare embarassment, shame and humiliation.  Not to mention a sore hiney.  This is a must-have for all men and boys for Christmas!

WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO GIVE A WEDGIE?

• Santa Claus for all the times he failed to answer your letters?
• The mail-man for all the junkmail and bills he brings you?
• Telemarkers that won't leave you alone?
• Volfan, Peter Lumpkins, Ben Cole or another blogger who gets under your skin?
• Tom Brady, Peyton Manning?
• Les Miles?
• Other_______

   SelahV

PICTURE THIS HANGING ABOVE YOUR FIREPLACE THIS CHRISTMAS MORNING.  Have you been good enough for Santa to deliver it with the other packages?

thanks for the photo Peter.