SelahV Today

SO, I'M THINKING OUT LOUD HERE...

And I just wonder what advice you folks might have for me.  You remember my car accident last December 9th that totaled my Chevy Malibu, don't you?  (How could you forget if you've been reading my blogs?)  Anyway, after two months of insanity with them over my car, they finally saw the light, realized how ridiculous they'd been in compensating me for their client's error, and paid me for my car.  However...

Allstate still hasn't settled with me on my medical bills.  I had to pay the stupid bills that they are responsible for because they won't pay the medical bills until I stop seeing the chiropractor. That's dumb.  The chiropractor didn't cause the accident and make me have to go to the emergency room and get x-rays, etcetera.  But because I am still seeing a chiropractor--they still won't pay them...no offense, nothing personal...just standard pressure procedure.

Every so often Allstate calls me (different person every time), and asks me if I am still seeing the chiro.  I say yes, and they say they can't pay me anything or pay the bills until I settle.  I say, Okay, and wonder if I will ever see a dime of what I've paid out. Feel the pressure?  I do.

Meanwhile, I began to feel quite a bit better, and was able to blowdry my hair without taking 5-minute breaks, so I decided to tell my chiropractor to just go ahead and send in his bill to the insurance company. (Yeah, I caved.)  But he shouldn't have to wait for his money and they aren't going to settle with me until I stop going to him.  Well, he sent in his paperwork but I'm still going to see him. It helps alleviate the pain.

Remember a few weeks ago when I simply reached for a piece of paper on a shelf at waist level and pain erupted again in my back? I wondered then, if I spoke too soon in letting the chiro send in his bill.  I can't remember when I felt that bad, other than the days following my accident.  I had really felt much much better from my treatments, and was able to finally dry my hair, roll it and not have any pain.  I still had lower back discomfort but chalked that up to old age (yeah, I know...I'm not old) and degenerative disc.  I just don't want to be so limited with my neck.  But there I was again from simply picking up a piece of paper.  Pain in my neck and shoulders.  Yep.  Started the first part of May. (Shhh, don't tell Allstate.)  I started paying up front for chiropractor treatments because we sent the final bill into the insurance company on the accident.

Now I'm having second thoughts. I'm still seeing my chiropractor but only scheduled once a month.  Dagnabbit! It helps the pain.  But I couldn't keep waiting on Allstate to get my money back for the other services.  I need my money.  I shouldn't have had to pay those bills in the first place.  That 2,000 dollars will go a long way in paying the chiropractor for treatments now.  He can't keep seeing me for nothing.  Allstate has had his bill for a bit over a month now, and they still haven't paid me back for any of my medical bills.

I suppose I was stupid to settle without knowing if there is something going on in my neck that was overlooked with a regular xray.  I hate to put out more money that the insurance company won't give back to me to have an MRI.  Sigh...such a quandry.  Always a quandry.  Praying I make the right decision.  Praying, praying, praying.  With my luck, Allstate will finally settle with me, then I'll find out I need some kind of surgery that will cost a fortune.  Double sigh.  Oh...yeah...I forgot.  (The Holy Spirit just reminded me of something).  "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me."  Psalm 138:8a  He keeps me looking up every time I begin to look down.

[P.S. I'm beginning to see why people get attorneys when they get into accidents.]

Recovered and Walking

Well, since my last post, I have recovered my mobility.  Hooray!  Turns out the chiro was right.  My alignment was off in my lower back and hips.  Am now walking without pain in the knee and back.  I told a fib in my last post because I said I'd give recovery tips the following day.  Then I didn't post till now.  Busy week.

Basically, all I did was ice my back every two hours for one day.  I walked very very carefully and avoided all bending and twisting motions.  Am grateful that now I am fine.  No limp.  No cane.  While I give credit to the chiro and the careful attention to his instructions, I also give the greatest credit to the Great Physician and the prayers I've received from all of you.  Thanks so much.

No MRI necessary.  No more pain meds.  That is a big plus.  Now if the weather would cool down a bit so I could begin walking to lose some weight.  If not, there's hope.  I can do laps around the lazy river and create my own water-park marathon.  Either way, I'm determined.  Staying under 1,500 calories a day is helping.    However, being sedentary since last December 9th, added far more weight to my waist than I've been able to diet off.  Keep me in your prayers as I battle the giants within. Keep me accountable, friends.  Keep reminding me that "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me." 2 pounds down and 98 to go.  selahV 

THIS TIME IT'S MY...

KNEE.  And I'm glad that's all it is.

I was really excited about getting back to church for the first time in 4 weeks this past Sunday.  I still had to go slow and be careful not to make any odd twists or turns.  It's beyond me what I did to my back to whack it out of shape.  But it was beginning to feel a lot better after treatments and rest.  I love watching Adrian Rogers, Charles Stanley and a few of the other preachers when I can't make it to church.  But nothing replaces the time amid the Bride to stir the soul with deeper love for the brethren.  You just have to be there.  So when I stood up to sing praises after sitting a while, I was a bit miffed when my knee gave way and felt like a hot poker stabbed me.  Later when I tried to walk, my knee couldn't bear the weight.

I iced it Sunday afternoon, and took some pain pills; I was determined to go watch Haylee sing in the children's Spring concert at church.  Then I came home and hoped it would get better on Monday so I could visit my Iraqi friend, Linda, on Tuesday.  She called last week; it's been so long since I've been able to go see her.  I've missed seeing her.  I was grateful it was my left knee that hurt. 

It could have been my right one.  Then I wouldn't be able to drive.  As it was, I hobbled to the car with my dad's cane so I could go visit her today.  She'd been missing me, too.

I looked up possibilities for the cause of my knee pain.  One cause could be referred pain from lower back.  Made sense.  I decided to go to my chiro today.  Sure enough, my back was out of kilter again.  I'd done something to it that pulled it out of alignment.  He adjusted me and I was able to actually bear enough weight on my knee to walk without my father's cane.  I'm so grateful my back may be the reason for the wrenching pain in my knee. Ice and rest.  Would hate to have to go get an MRI and discover I needed a replacement or something.  Eeeek.

So now I'm just praying I'll be mobile for my grandson's graduation on Thursday.  One more hurdle to jump...metaphorically speaking, of course.

RECOVERY IDEAS tomorrow.   

MONDAY MOURNING MOANS

It's official.  Today is Monday and it is one of the least loved days on the weekly calendar.  For most folks it is the first day of a work week.  For others, it's just another day and is sometimes their "saturday".   Antique shops are notorious for taking Mondays off.  I don't really have any complaints about Monday to speak of.  I have a deadline for my newspaper column on Mondays, so that makes it a rather significant day to remember.  Other than that, I try to take it easy on Mondays and spend a lot of time writing for the week.  For me, it's easy to sense the presence of God and hear Him speak when I read His word on Mondays.  I attribute that to the time I spend focusing on Him in Sunday School, Worship and such.  So Mondays are kinda sweet for me...a day of reflection...a day of planning the week ahead.

Never fails when I go to Facebook, the moans and groans are almost audible.

My blogposts get the most readers on Mondays, too.  So I suppose there is a lot of folks leaning back in their recliners, sipping coffee, sweet tea or energy drinks.  I have it on pretty good authority, if there is any leftover cornbread from Sunday dinner, that a dear friend of mine might even be spooning the soggy stuff out of a glass of buttermilk while he reads Monday-morning bloggers rant, rave, moan, groan, grumble and complain about everything from theology to rain on their parades.

It's odd when you think about it.  We have been given only so many days appointed on earth to breathe, to love, to enjoy, to pursue happiness, yet so often we are found begrudging the existence of the hour at hand.  Wouldn't you think after a Sabbath day of rest, we'd appreciate another day of living with the blessings of God? 

I remember one of the sweetest prayers my elderly daddy ever prayed on a Monday morning.  It was at breakfast as his feet dangled over the edge of his nursing-home bed.  His hair was rumpled, his tee-shirt stained from midnight snacking, and he bowed his head.  In between oxygen-fueled breaths, he says, "Thank you, O Lord for another day of living.  Thank you for Your protection last night.  I especially thank you for this food before me, and pray You use it to nourish my body.  Watch over Shirley and my family and give Hariette a safe trip home.  In Your precious son's name, I pray.  Amen."

Then with his feeble, shaking, Parkinson's-afflicted hand, daddy would lift up the rubbermaid lid to find his usual runny tasteless, scrambled eggs, dried out cold toast, and bowl of grits.  No salt allowed.  No sugar.  No fat.  I'd look at that tray and watch my father's labored breathing, and wonder how in the world he could be so thankful for another day of living.  Yet, he was.  Today, he is fully whole and feasting on the bounty of the Lord.  What a neat thought the LORD just put in my head.  It's enough to make me want to count my blessings for awhile.  How about you?  selahV

WHY I AM WRITING ABOUT HEALTH CARE REFORM SO MUCH

I am a product of stupidity.  I am a product of mis-information.  I am a product of having no clue what Medicare was, or what it would cover in the event my husband became ill.  I am a product of having no clue about what it meant to have or not have supplemental insurance.  I am a product of thinking VA would take care of all my husband's needs in addition to the Medicare we paid into all these years and also what we now have deducted from our Social Security check.  (It is not free, friends.)

I am a product of not caring about the warnings.  I was so overcome with how to pay the thousands of dollars in bills from my husband's heart surgery at age 64 before the Medicare was even an option, that I could not understand all the calls coming in from insurance telemarketers I had never called.  How did they get our phone number?  Who are all these people?  I am guilty of putting them off and not talking to them all.  We received on the average of twelve calls a day about this situation before and after my husband turned 65.  We listened to some and they never made it clear what they were trying to sell us or why it was so important that we listen and decide on a plan.  I have no clue what a plan would have cost us each month.  I'm guessing between $150 to $300 a month for just my husband's supplement.  We can't get an insurance policy now for my husband.  He's got that nasty little pre-existing condition called heart disease that we didn't know about eight months before he became eligible for supplemental insurance (that we didn't understand nor could we have paid for at the time, anyway).

So here I am...trying to help others realize how little the government's systems do for you.  How little they care about monitoring thyroid disease, heart conditions, high PSA scores, etc.  I'm trying to share the importance of how pro-active we must be in understanding what they (the government) are trying to do to us for the future...How important it is that you understand.  No, you aren't all seniors.  But someone you know and love is.  And no, not everyone will be stupid like me.

How much do you know about Medicare and what it will do for you?  How much will the 500 plus billion-dollar cuts in Medicare affect you when you turn 65?  What does our President consider wasteful?  How much will you have to pay for supplemental insurance to ensure you can get a life-saving treatment should you be broadsided by a castastrophe such as prostate cancer, leukemia, breast cancer or heart disease?  Folks, it sounds like you need to start burying some gold in your backyard alongside your poodle's soupbone.

Or, you can be like me.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and...Fear not..."  selahV

ABORTION MANDATE ATTACHED TO HEALTH CARE REFORM BILL

According to Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Michigan, the CAPPS Amendment latches onto the health care reform bill (HR 3200) being pushed through Congress and mandates a collection of "between 1 to 12 dollars" from insurers' insurance premiums which will go to fund abortion.  Stupak and other democrats are strategizing how they can block the plan and have the CAPPS amendment removed.  According to Stupak in an interview during Fox News today, he is trying to talk with the President because the President must be mis-informed because the President told Congress that there will be no support for abortion in the bill.

I'm wondering...can the President take a bill and scratch out amendments before he signs it so there are no provisions for abortion and health-care to illegal aliens?  Seems he didn't know there was anything in the bill that would allow illegals to be covered when he said there would be no coverage for illegals.  Who is explaining this bill to our President?  When he was inappropriately called out on that in his speech a few nights ago, he seemed genuinely surprised that what he said was not taken as fact.  Later that evening the powers-that-be scrambled to remove loophole language in the bill that, indeed, would allow for illegals to get this public insurance, paid for by tax payers.

Also, now this bill coming out of the Baucus proposal mandates (forces) us to pay a fine if we don't have insurance of up to $3,800 for a family who doesn't comply with getting this insurance.  How is the government gonna impose this fine?  Are they gonna take it out of my hubby's pittance of a Social Security check along with the nearly $100 dollars they deduct for Medicare already? Let's see.  That could mean we'd have to reconcile our budget to living without the check for a few months.  OR, do we just turn over hubby's checks from the two part-time jobs he has?  How much should I be budgeting for this public option co-op that they are mandating I get after I pay my fine?

And since this new Health Care Reform Bill plans to make massive cuts to Medicare, will the new insurance I'm forced to purchase, make up for what Medicare no longer covers?  Should we consider those cuts when we search for some insurance company who will cover us for things to meet our needs?

Personally, I don't think it matters to the President what is or is not in the bill.  All they really want, according to his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, is: "Anything he can sign in the Rose Garden."  The mandates are my problem--and of course, those babies who'll never see the light of day.  selahV

GOTTA HAND IT TO OBAMA

He sure can talk.

He says he wants to set up a team of health "experts" and "doctors" who can eliminate "the waste" in healthcare.  Uh...folks...I think I am his "waste".  Me.  A senior citizen who can drain the system because I am bound to need more and more healthcare as I age.  Of course, part of the way he can control my "waste" is to eliminate the unnecessary tests because his "experts" will tell me what I need and don't need.  Folks, I hate to be a wet blanket, but those "experts" can't determine anything from Washington about ME in Lawton, Oklahoma.

When I go to the doctor and tell them what is wrong with me, the best thing they can do is "guess" what test I need..."guess" what my problem is...and "guess" what medication to give me.  Why?  Because I am an individual who has individual needs based on MY problems...my history...my allergies, etc.  For the most part, it is always a guessing game.  My cardiologist with all his fancy machines and tests, echo-cardiogram, chemically induced stress test, and BP checks...determined that I "most likely" (an 85% probability), had a blockage in the front part of my heart.  It took a test to rule it out.  The test was the heart-catherization.  Yeah, it's expensive.  But the only other option was to forget about it and take the chance I'd drop dead of a heart attack.

My husband's cardiologist (one of the best in Oklahoma), determined by a few tests and his best "guess" that his symptoms was most likely a pinched nerve.  Several tests later, and an open-heart surgery to repair 5 blockages, proved to this notable expert that his best "guess" was wrong.  Dead wrong.

So with Obama's bill, all my health records will now go to Washington to get a protocol of care determined by Washington's federal board.  Based on a model of many folks.  Ain't that just ducky?     

According to Obama, healthcare is all about "waste".  Could some of the "waste" be those babies, children, and adults who will put an added drain on the healthcare system because of their chronic-diseases, disabilities, and castastrophic illnesses?  I wonder.  Based on data accumulated, the probability of a person with a specific cancer has only X-amount of chance to survive even with the best of treatments.  So, what do you think this federal board will decide is the most appropriate care for them? 

He says we need "affordable" healthcare.  Whose definition of "affordable" are we using, anyway?

Obama's bill is gonna take care of all of us out here.  "I wanna cover everybody," he says.

Let's get real.  He doesn't want to cover anyone.  He wants all of "us" to cover everybody.  He wants YOU to cover ME.  He will ensure that happens, too.  He proposes with his bill to mandate that we get healthcare.  Kinda like car insurance.  If you don't get insurance you don't get to drive your car.  I wonder, does that mean if I don't purchase insurance, he will take it from my husband's social security check, or, that I don't get to live? 

He says Americans need to "give up things that don't make them healthier."  Uh..let's see.  What are things that aren't making us healthier?  According to President Obama, it is "Testing".  Hmmmmn.  So what makes us healthier?  Our diet.  Obama says one of the things that panel of experts will be in charge of doing is, "making sure our diet is what it ought to be."  Now that's a grand mandate.  Has that man been to the grocery lately?  Does he have any idea how much it costs to eat the "diet" we need to eat?  The highest priced things on the grocery shelves are fresh vegetables, chicken and fish.  I know.  I went shopping tonight to get my hubby some fruit to take in his lunch sack.

Obama pooh-poohs those folks, like me, who don't like his healthcare plan.  Folks say "Even though I don't like this devil, I like this devil better than the devil I don't know."

He said a mouthful, there.  Thing is...I don't like any devils.  They say, "the devil is in the details".  How true it is of this healthcare bill.  How very true.  selahV   

DON'T QUOTE ME...

...BECAUSE I'M PARAPHRASING HOW I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I HEARD.

I was watching Laura Ingraham tonite who was sitting in for Bill O'Reilly (yeah, I watch The Factor sometimes).  Tonite it was particularly interesting because Laura had a guest on and they were talking about the health-care bill and something in it about old folks like me.  If this passes (which in some form or another, it will, eventually), they want a mandatory meeting for old folks with a government representative.  I didn't catch at what point an old person gets their first visit.  But the purpose of the visit was the thing that had warning bells and whistles going off in my brain.

It appears that this government rep will come and discuss with old people (like Social Security recipients, I suppose), the rationale behind their health and the care they are receiving to see if they are making the best choices.  And they may need to evaluate the fact that they don't have much time left, and they'd had a good life and so....   "Ding, ding, ding!"  soooo...they should consider putting themselves under Hospice care rather than spending money on healthcare.  I suppose the government rep will have this handy dandy little list of things that helps determine the quality of life an old person has.

Laura was pretty upset.  She said she didn't want some rep coming in and interviewing her 83 year-old dad and telling him he needed to just accept he'd had a good life.  The gal she was interviewing had a rather condescending expression (in my biased opinion) as she told Laura that it was up to her father and not her what he did.  Ah..."Ding...Ding...Ding".  I see.  So the rep will talk to the old folks and their family members won't have any say-so in the matter.  Ah...the good old national healthcare system.  Won't it be wonderful?  We'll just bump off advise the Social Security recipients.  We'll explain how they'd be better off and so would their families and all the young people in America, if they'd just step aside and go on to Gloryland as the better choice for all concerned.  And I suppose if the old person doesn't agree, the health-care system can just cut off their dialysis treatment and blood pressure medicines and chemo.  I'm just guessing though....don't quote me.

Hey, that would take care of the Social Security going bankrupt, now wouldn't it?  If all of we baby-boomers (especially those of us who are struggling financially), were to step aside for the good of the younger generation? (Surely we can see how much better that would be for our grandchildren's benefit).  Then Social Security could be solvent again.  And no one would have to pay for our healthcare, either.  Hmmmmn. 

I'm getting cynical in my old age, folks.  Downright cynical.  selahV   

BEST YOU KNOW THE SYMPTOMS OF A HEART ATTACK

Heart Attack Warning Signs
Some heart attacks are sudden and intense — the "movie heart attack," where no one doubts what's happening. But most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain or discomfort. Often people affected aren't sure what's wrong and wait too long before getting help. Here are signs that can mean a heart attack is happening:

• Chest discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.   
• Discomfort in other areas of the upper body. Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.   
• Shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort.  
• Other signs may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness       

As with men, women's most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting, and back or jaw pain.

Learn the signs, but remember this: Even if you're not sure it's a heart attack, have it checked out (tell a doctor about your symptoms). Minutes matter! Fast action can save lives — maybe your own.

Then there is me.  I have all the signs above except the cold sweat.  And if you recall, a few days before my dad died, I had an "episode" I decided was a bad case of indigestion and thus self-diagnosed myself with an ulcerated esophagus.  I only write this post now because, in all honesty, I didn't want to go to the hospital to if there was nothing really wrong with me.  Why spend all that money on unnecessary tests because I had bad chest pain, couldn't swallow and couldn't breathe?  Today I realize I should have gone immediately.

Do yourself a favor.  Don't be a stubborn knothead like me.  If your wife complains of the symptoms above, encourage her to go to the doctor in the midst of the symptoms.  If your husband is anything like mine and says, "I'll be alright in a few minutes," ignore him and make him get into the car.  I did this and two days later my husband had open heart bypass surgery to replace 5 arteries that were blocked with the main one blocked 100%.  He'd never had one iota of warning except tiredness and shortwindedness.

Pride is all that really keeps us from doing what we should.  I don't know what my "abnormality" will turn out to be.  One man's abnormality is another's normality.  But if I love my grandchildren, daughter, husband and friends...it behooves me to do my part in the process of healing as I rest in the Lord to take care of it all.  selahV     

THE VERDICT IS IN...BREATHING CAN WAIT TILL SPRING

So, we went to the doctor today to get the results of test upon test upon test for my husband.   Along with his thyroid condition, congestive heart failure, the 60% blockage in a neck artery, the extremely high cholesterol and issues we'd rather not discuss on the internet--he doesn't breathe.

Yep.  A sleep apnea test revealed that he stops breathing 53 56 times every hour during sleep.  That contributes to the reason he falls asleep alot during the day.  Why fatigue is his buddy.  Why he's forever taking short breaths all day long.  And who knows?  Maybe that's why God put a song in his heart that makes him whistle while he works.  So what's a wife to do?  Stay up all night and poke him every time he stops breathing?  Why noooo.  They have this air-compressor that blows air into people by attaching a stupid air-tight mask on his face.  Uh, what happens if the electricity goes off?  Will he wake up in time to pull that contraption off his face?  Will he even be able to sleep at all with that thing stuck on his nose?  Well, it really doesn't matter.  It seems he won't need it. 

Medicare doesn't pay for a compressor.   So we're gonna wait and see how things progress or digress.  Ha.  Next Spring we'll test him again and see if he's gotten worse.  (Since the doctor didn't bother to tell us how much one of those puppies would set us back, I figured I shouldn't bother to ask).  Anyway, we finally had someone confirm that breathing is not essential for life.  I'm glad.  Since I no longer have to be concerned with whether or not my husband is breathing at night, because medicare says so, I should be able to sleep just fine.  Don't you think? 

My husband thinks it's great.  He doesn't want to wear that contraption anyway.  He's always had the philosphy that when it's his time to go, he'll go and when it's not, he won't.  Now he figures when he wakes up each morning it gives him an even greater reason to be grateful for another day to spend with me.  Peace of mind.  Government regulations we can believe in.  Healthcare we can trust.  Gotta love life.  It's so filled with irony.  Don't ask me what I think of Obama's guaranteed insurance for every person in America.  You don't want to know what I think.  selahV 

I SPOKE TOO SOON

I've been emailing and telling folks how much better my back is.  Well, all I did was wrap a few (very few) presents, put several birds on my little Christmas trees and WHAM!  Not only is the back screaming for me to sit down and forget about Christmas cookies, grocery shopping, stripping beds, dusting, vacumning and sink full of dishes---but it is sending subliminal messages to my toes.  Each time I take a step with my left leg it sends sparks of numbing pain through my feet.  When I switch weight to my right leg to compensate, my knee locks up.

THIS IS CRAZY!

So, the rest of the day I shall try and figure out a way to make some cookies, forget the house cleaning, and grocery shopping and rest my back.  AGAIN.  ~sigh~  On top of that, several of my prayer partners are under the weather as well as me and so I don't even know if they can read of my plight due to the illnesses they are battling.

It's all such a nuisance.  And the pain is not nearly as bothersome as the thoughts of not having my house ready to receive my granddaughters in grand style for the holidays tomorrow afternoon.  I hear the Voice.  Do you?

"Martha, Martha.  Mary chooses the best thing."   Oh yeah, I hear Him.  Time to go read and pray and meditate on the Lord and the goodness of His grace and mercy.   Talk to you later.  selahV