Betwixt and between. This side or that. Inside or outside. Over or under. One way or no way. My view or their view. From pantsuits to dresses, from working or not, from assertiveness to shrillness, from confidence to arrogance. Women struggle with it all.
I am all but certain that men do not struggle with anything quite like women. Often I think we struggle just as much with other women as we struggle with our own consciences.
There's been so many women against women since I've been alive, I've wondered where did it all begin? When did the worldview that condemns and impugns us, lauds and applauds us, ever withstand the barrage of scrutiny that we, individually, have impaled upon ourselves? Will we ever have the answer to what makes us tick? Where we belong? To whom we're accountable? To whom we are not?
I have hundreds more readers than I do commenters. In fact, some of the readers who do not comment, send me their thoughts by email instead. Just this week I received an email that I've decided to share:
"Dear SelahV,
Queen Esther comes to my mind today. I know some think we are taking it out of context, but I don't think so. I think Sarah Palin's nomination is one of those situations where God takes us so far out of our comfort zones we balk....we think this can't be God's will because it goes against what we believe. I've struggled with this kind of situation for years now and had finally come to the conclusion that I can't say what's God's will for me, as a wife and mom, is God's will for you, or even that I'm always in God's will, ya know.....I want to be, but I know I still have my struggles with what I think God wants me to do.
I have learned (I hope) that I can't take the credit for what God does in me and through me. How He wants to use me is up to Him.....how He will be glorified in it, is up to Him, not me. Even if people think I'm messing up big-time, yet I know what God has told me to do....He'll work that out....I don't need to try and explain, defend, convince, or show others why He wants me to do what He wants me to do, OR that they need to do it too. SO, I don't know what God is doing with Sarah Palin or why, but just because it goes against what I believe (in general), I can't say it's wrong.....that she's out of God's will or that she hasn't sought His will. I'm really hoping that's not liberal thinking. I still don't believe in women pastors...I think the bible clearly teaches against that."
My commenter's email seems to echo the hearts of many Christian women today. None of us want to be outside of God's will. We all seek to adhere to His Word. We all want to make a difference in our world as He so leads us. We know we do not have all the answers. And we know we often make mistakes when we try to dictate what is right for others according to our own understanding of ourselves and our relationship with Christ. As we walk this journey of faith with our Lord, may we continue to find the continuity of His presence and the oneness we have with each other provided by His grace and sacrifice to us all. And may we discern His Word and stand on the principles He sets before us. selahV
WHAT I DO NOT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND, I....
[© SelahV Today, hariette petersen, 2008]
