Recently I visited Tony Sisk's blog and found an incredibly profound post on ministering to people who have lost a loved one. Having lost a 33 year-old son long before I was ready to let him go, I know firsthand the pain and agony of death. Tony has a methodical yet incredibly sincere way of ministering to folks who have lost a loved one. I recommend this blog for all pastors everywhere as a great guideline for comforting those who mourn.
One of the most comforting things for me was reading all the cards people sent. I devoured them. All I looked forward to after the funeral was going to the mailbox. For weeks I received multiple cards. Then they began to dwindle. Sporadically appearing two or three times a week. Then once a week. Then every two or three weeks. Then none. When the cards stopped coming, I felt lost. I wondered. Does anyone know I still hurt? Has everyone forgotten my son? Was he so insignificant?
On Mother's Day a year after Chad died, his helper in his Tile Business came to my house and brought me a Mother's Day card. It was the most beautiful thing anyone could have done for me. Chacon is like a second son. But I never dreamed he'd remember me on Mother's Day with a hand-delivered card. He'd driven over an hour to bring it to me. No one else came that day. Just Chacon.
Every time the 8th of the month rolls around I remember. It's now been one year, ten months and two days that I've been without my son. He is with the Lord. He is at peace. And I am coping. The excruciating pain has lessened. Only on occasion do I feel the burdening crush of pain that robs me of thought and breath. I like to talk about my son. Folks are uncomfortable. They don't know what to say. Funny. When I rattle on non-stop about my grandchildren, they have no problem chatting with me. But talking about the love and joy I have in my memories of my son creates a wall between anyone in a conversation.
I'm grateful for Tony and his pastor's heart. He's alot like my husband. Go over and read his blog. And then send everyone you know a copy of it. It's worth the read. May God's grace be sufficient to meet your needs and abound. SelahV