COMMON MATTERS

As The New Year Approaches

I'm not about to make any silly resolutions.  Weight loss.  Eating habits.  Exercise commitments.  Why set myself up for failure?  Seriously.  New Year's Resolutions remind me of political promises.  We make them because they sound so good to us.  And in some cases we genuinely intend to keep them.  However, as mama use to say, "circumstances alters cases".  Often we encounter situations that dramatically change the course of our best intentions.

For instance, in November I promised one of my granddaughters I would take her to see the movie adaptation of a book she had read in school.  It wasn't playing in Lawton when she visited so I couldn't take her.  Then it came here, and I'd planned to take her last week.  But she didn't get to come for our usual Christmas celebration, so now it isn't playing in Lawton for me to take her this week.  If I want to follow through on my promise, I have to drive to Oklahoma City.  Therefore, I've decided I'm not going to carelessly make promises like that anymore.  I hate to disappoint folks, (especially my grandchildren).  In a sense, that is a resolution, isn't it?  Resolving to be more careful when making promises?  My daughter has the five-minute rule:  "Don't tell the kids we're going to do anything until five minutes before it happens".  That's not a bad idea, is it?  The only thing wrong with that rule is, it leaves out the joy of expectation.  The fun of hoping, getting excited about the future.  Hope can be a risk.  Risk breeds success as well as disappointment. I've had successes, but I understand that disappointment.  I've had several in my lifetime.  I'm sure you have, too.

Life is like that.  It tends to discourage us at times.  Just when you think everything is going along in a positive direction, "wham, bam", circumstances alters cases.  We get blindsided by rejection, financial crisis, illnesses, deaths, or broken relationships.  Somehow all the resolutions and "rules", five-minute or otherwise, must be revamped, reworked, and negotiated.  Compromises must be made.  Often when our commitments are not met, we feel like the failure.  No matter what the world does to destroy our dreams, hopes and goals, we take it personally.  We view the "pink slip" as our inadequacy.  We see the illness as deserved, or the broken relationship as our fault.  To be honest, sometimes it is our own fault.  But not always.

I'm stepping back and looking at last year and thinking through some of the things that didn't turn out quite the way I had planned.  I'm not going to beat myself up over mistakes or poor choices.  Instead, I am going to use them to make plans and goals for today.  And possibly tomorrow.  The past is the past after all; carrying it forward robs me of today.  What I can do to correct some mistakes, I must do.  What I can reconcile, I must reconcile.  Situational paralysis will destroy me if I let it.  I tend to agree with something I read this week:  I'd rather live life with more "oh, wells" than "what ifs".

Yes, life has a way of changing plans and intentions.  But isn't it better to live with hope than to live without it?  Don't you think it's better to strive for that which is best, and settle for that which is better than to live with regrets of accepting the status quo.  I think so. I can think of several things that need changing in our country, our community, and my life as the new year approaches.  But that's a column for another day.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Celebrate safely!

Seventy Percent Prefer It

“A recent Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that 70 percent of American adults prefer retailers to use ‘Merry Christmas’ signs. Twenty-four percent of those polled would rather see ‘Happy Holidays.’ According to the survey, many adults across almost all demographic groups prefer ‘Merry Christmas,’ with young adults feeling as strong as older adults.” (The Christian Post, Dec. 5, 2011)

Seventy percent.  The majority of Americans.  Yet, some folks let a minority tell them what they can and cannot say. Seems to me, that some businesses are shooting themselves in the foot with their efforts to appease the minority. The U.S. constitution ensures us the freedom of speech.  The first amendment to the U.S. Constitution states "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof".  Therefore, if we want to, we should be able to greet one another with Merry Christmas even if it is July 4th.

I don't know about you, but I haven't encountered anyone who has not returned my "Merry Christmas" greeting with one of their own.  I love the Salvation Army Bell-ringers.  They all say "Merry Christmas".  It feels so good to be wished a season of happiness to remember what these hurry, scurry, hustle, bustle days are all about. The news media would have us believe that we are in the minority.  It's sad that Christmas programs at school have evolved (or dissolved) into all things Santa, Rudolf, and Christmas gifts.  Not a whisper of:

"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. -Isaiah 9:6"

When I was a child, our school Christmas carols included O' Little Town of Bethlehem, Away in the Manger, and Silent Night as well as Jingle Bells.  We saw the Nativity displayed in our classrooms along with The Ten Commandments.  I ask you, how does talking about faith and living a life free of theft, murder, lying, and cheating, hurt the character and mind development of a child?  Since the removal of prayer in schools, and replacement of Bible reading with government controlled curriculum, we have more and more self-aggrandizement, self-sufficiency, and self-centeredness.  Life is all about "me, me, me".  Ironically, because some are offended by the mere whisper of the name of God, we have fewer schools teaching The Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag.  Patriotism, pride in our country, is undermined.  This is visible in our world by the Home Owners Associations that are prohibiting flagpoles on lawns.

This is America.  Land of the free, home of the brave.  Yet, so often we see more and more prohibitions to our freedoms.  We see less and less bravery.  We shiver and shake and cower when we should stand up and "trust in the God" we have stamped on our coins and dollar-bills.  That God, my friends, is THE God who sent His only begotten Son, born of a virgin, to give His life as a perfect holy and acceptable payment for the sin and stupidity of man.  When we place our faith and trust in Him, He is faithful to cleanse us from all our rebellion against Him.  Jesus came to reconcile us to the Father...to bring peace that the world and all their powers, bombs, and armies could not give.  It is our choice to believe or not, and it's our choice as free Americans to say, "Merry Christmas" if we want to.  So for the 70 percent who prefer it, let me say Merry Christmas to all.  I pray God blesses you and your family with peace, and goodness, mercy and love in the coming days. 

 

 

One More Week

Are you ready for Christmas?   I have a plan.  Whether or not the plan works out remains to be seen...but I have one.  I know what I want to get everyone on my list.  I think if I waddle my way around the various stores this week, I'll be able to cross off the gifts without too much trouble.  

I didn't decorate my house this year.  I haven't baked any Christmas cookies.  I didn't put out any lights to let the world know that the Light of the World was born over 2000 years ago.  I miss my various trees and the little nativity sets I place all around the house.  I have attended a couple of choir specials at church, but haven't made it to any Christmas parties yet.  I wrapped one gift for a dear friend in Kentucky and managed to get it in the mail.  Other than that, I've been too wrapped up in dental appointments, selecting essentials for our new home's down-sizing project to think much about Christmas and all its trappings.  To be honest, some of the trappings are just that.  Traps.  Some folks allow themselves to step into the trap of pleasing everyone they know who are simply impossible to please.  

It's kinda like trying to make the professionally unemployed happy.  No amount of benefits, housing, and care that the government gives them is enough.  They always want more, expect more, demand more.  They're like selfish children in throes of Christmas frenzy.  They get so caught up in getting presents that they forget to be grateful for what they receive.  

I see that atheists down in Texas are up to their normal Grinch-ism.  They're trying to have one town remove the Nativity scene from the town square.  All I can say to that is, "don't mess with Texas"; they aren't going to let some narrow-minded minority voice tell them how to celebrate Christmas.  I also read where a school somewhere banned the shoebox ministry wherein Christmas boxes are sent free to children around the world.  They stopped children from bringing in items to fill them.  Seems the school was upset that the packages contained... get this-- a message about Jesus and his birth.  Uh, yeah.  Isn't that what Christmas is all about?

We took our little granddaughters to see the lights in Elmer Park in Lawton.  They were so excited to see the dancing trees, snowmen, and colorful displays.  They liked them so much we took them through the neighborhoods to see how people decorated their homes for Christmas.  They oohed and aahed and were thrilled with every snowman, santa, and reindeer.  Only a handful of all the houses had any reference to religion and Jesus.  However, that did not stifle the spirit in 5-year-old Kinsey.  As we were nearing our house, she announced, "Grama, I just love Christmas!  Cuz it's Jesus' birth!"  You have to love the innocence of her statement.  Amid the Santas and Snowmen, the Savior was born to give man hope for eternity and Kinsey knew it.

There is so much hope in knowing that amid the "things" of earth which so easily capture our attention, that God still offers the greatest hope.  He doesn't change His mind about His gift.  He doesn't take it back.  He doesn't exchange it for something else--there is none better.  He gave us His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will have everlasting life.  Not trimmings.  Not cookie crumbs.  Not lights that come down after December 25th.  No.  He gives us the real deal--it doesn't fall apart or breakdown or lose it's power.  The perfect Gift of His Love and Light:  Jesus, Emanuel.

'Tis the Season

The pundits and predictors were stunned that Black Friday produced so many shoppers, and more than that...SPENDERS.  That's right.  Lots of times tradition may pull turkey-stuffed folks off the couch and away from mega-screen television sets to battle the throngs in local stores.  However, this year, not only were throngs out in record-breaking numbers, they were spending all that hard-earned cash they'd been squirreling away.  Or...using that easy-come plastic in hopes of prosperity on the horizon.  Shoppers were buying electronics, computers, wii systems, and new slippers.  But don't get excited.  It's not about the season of giving.  It's not about Christmas.  It's not about you.  It's not about others...according to surveys.

Surveys say why folks are buying what.  And the main reason people are spending is to grab bargains for themselves.  No longer are they waiting for Christmas.  No longer are they depending on Santa.  They are getting their wide-screen televisions, and Kindles, and whatevers, for themselves.  I can't say that I'm surprised.  In an environment of Occupy Wall Street, Dallas, Atlanta, and other cities, a world of greed and me-first folks are breeding.  "What's in it for me" seems to be the mantra of our world.

Hubs and I were sitting in the middle of Lawton's Central Mall on Saturday.  We were enjoying eggrolls and fried rice with four of our granddaughters at the cafe court.  As we sat there laughing and chewing, a group of teenagers entered the mall.  One fella looked up and pointed to an elaborate garland hanging above our heads.  He said, "This is suppose to be the season when we have fantastic decorations everywhere; and this is what we get?"  I looked around the food court, and had to admit, that there was not a New York Times Square grandeur.  However, the garland he pointed to was very pretty.  I wondered, what is "enough" for him?  What would meet his expectation of grandeur? 

My granddaughters came up from Texas the night before, to make our contribution to the Gingerbread House competition at our church.  It's become a tradition since we lost their daddy to make our "Petersen" mark on the world each year.  This year we didn't get the least bit flustered or intense about constructing a fancy elaborate house to be the "best".  We just grabbed some icing, a few nutty-butter bars, and a bit of green icing for ice-cream-cone trees, and decided to keep it simple and just have fun.  We didn't really have a plan at all.  Lo and behold, on Sunday morning they announced the Petersen's house won First Place.  We were tickled pink.  But our "win" paled in comparison to the elation we experienced on Friday night as we joined our Iraqi friend at our table and shared the Christmas joy of being part of a family.

I had a friend tell me last week that Christmas isn't the time of year to be concerned with the tinsel, the garland and the wrappings..."it's about the heart". The heart that cares about others.  The heart that reaches into a pocket and drops the change one has into the kettle in front of most stores.  The heart that sacrifices one's own pleasures to give pleasure to others.  The heart that pulls an angel from the tree and purchases items for needy families who have no one to play Santa. The heart that says "Thank you, Jesus, for leaving the grandeur of heaven and coming to earth to save us from our greed and selfishness.  Instead of demanding the best, You accepted the least."  And the "least" is enough when we have the Father dwelling within our hearts. May we live like we believe that this year.

 

A Couple of Interesting Dittys

I found a couple of little dittys (ditty: what I call a short thought-provoking group of words), on the internet the other day and they made a whole bunch of sense.  Since so many things today make so little sense, I thought you'd like to see what I read, too.  "When you think too much about things, you tend to make a problem of something that was never a problem to begin with." 

I'm guilty.  I do this.  I have a ton of thoughts that run through my brain in any given hour.  Sometimes I find myself dwelling on something I can do absolutely nothing about.  Or I think about something I failed to do, or messed up and cannot go back and change.  You know...Jesus said not to "worry about tomorrow, for sufficient to the day is the evil thereof".  Another little ditty that I found was, "Focusing on the past brings depression.  Focusing on tomorrow brings anxiety.  Focusing on the present brings peace."  For the most part, this is true. Although, I do have some things in my past that bring joy, and comfort.  I enjoy thinking about the way my son use to sneak up behind me and give me a huge bearhug.  I love to recall how funny he was when he called and told me every single detail of his day because it was so wonderful and at the end of an hour and a half, he'd say, "I wish you coulda been here, Momma.  It was unbelievable!"  I like focusing on those times.  But, of course, that is not the point of that ditty.  Focusing on the past and dwelling on mistakes and failures and what could have been, can lead us to feel sorry for ourselves, to wallow in pity, and paralyze any forward motion.  Hence, the depression.

The other extreme is dwelling upon and fretting about the future.  I have a friend who thinks about every single thing she says and does then analyzes what she could have said, should have said and would have said.  Whenever anyone deviates in the least bit from what she's come to know as norm for them, she sets in motion a quandry of questions. Then she conjures up problems that aren't even there.  She does the same thing with the future.  She plays "what-if" with a situation so much that when a situation doesn't turn out like she thought it should have, she is confused and anxious, and nerve-wracked.  I'm forever telling her to forget about it, just relax and enjoy the moment.  Which brings me to the last part of that second ditty.  When we focus upon the present, we have peace.  We have peace because we are actually able to do something about what we are experiencing.  Though a problem may exist in our lives, we can still actively participate in solving it.  This brings about peace.  It's kinda like the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the wisdom to know the difference."  When we live our lives this way and rest in the power and grace of God, we are able to meet the days ahead without the stress the world wants to press upon us.  I pray this week you see the goodness of each moment and find something positive for every hour of the day.  That's what I'm planning to look for and focus on.  And I'm starting now. How about you?