COMMON MATTERS

About Last Week

Sometimes life gets in the way of plans.  Last week I planned to go to Texas and see my granddaughter play her trumpet in a band concert at a dinner provided by Olive Garden. I planned to paint a couple of chairs and go get plants for the front porch. I planned to do a lot of things; in fact, I planned to write this column last Monday.   However, sometimes plans get interrupted.

At 5:30 Monday morning, I was sitting in my recliner, not 4 feet away from the kitchen when I heard a crash.  I turned my head and saw my husband sprawled out on the floor. I immediately jumped up and started yelling his name.  He didn't move, and for seconds I wondered if he was toying with me.  Repeatedly I called his name and asked what happened. His arms lay motionless, his glasses aschew, and his face pressed against the floor; his legs were all tangled up in the chair.  Suddenly I thought he'd had a heart attack.  My mind raced with thoughts of his heart attack in 2007 on Mother's Day.  That triggered the thought of losing my son on Mother's Day in 2005. The feelings exploded in my heart. The room was dimly lit by the living room light.  I couldn't see if there was blood, or if he was breathing.  I bent over and tried to move him, and finally he groaned.  I told him to stay where he was until I could turn on the kitchen lights.

He struggled to get up, but didn't make any sense. His words sounded like words but not words.  At the time, I thought I just couldn't understand him. Then he rose up and we disentangled his legs from the fallen kitchen chair.  He reached for his glasses and they were bent from the force of his head hitting the floor. He kept saying he was okay, and that it just felt funny when he drank his water.  He kept pointing to his throat and kinda rubbing it.  At the time I thought he'd tripped.  It wasn't until later, after he insisted he was fine, and I took him to work, that I replayed the whole event in my mind and realized that it wasn't normal for him to pass out cold before he ever fell. 

I recalled how he didn't utter a word of warning before he fell.  When he came out of the bedroom, I said, "you're up early."  And he said, "Yeah." I asked, "did you sleep okay?" Again, he replied, "yeah."  He had his shirt in his hand and went to the bathroom, came out dressed and buttoned up, then went to the counter in the kitchen.  He pushed the button on our coffee maker, opened the fridge, got a bottle of water, turned around, got his thyroid pill off the table, drank some water, took his pill, drank some more water, then put the water bottle back in the fridge. He turned around, took one step, and CRASH.

When I told our daughter, she mentioned he could've had a seizure or something.  I thought, no, it wasn't like that.  Then it occurred to me, that it may have been a mini-stroke.  I called my husband and he said he was feeling okay except the pain was really bad in his side.  I spent the morning looking for a doctor who would take him and check him out.  When you have VA, there is no such thing as going in to see the doctor.  They are booked solid.

When I couldn't get a doctor, my daughter felt I should take him to the ER because they had equipment to xray his side. After x-rays, scans, EKG and blood tests, they decided that he really could have passed out because of drinking the water.  Seems like there is a nerve that runs down the side of the neck that could have caused the momentary blackout.  Now, hubby sits down when he drinks water.  He took the week off because of the pain in his bruised ribs (and so I could monitor him). I am still trying to find a doctor for a follow-up.  For now, I am just grateful he is okay, even if all my plans were interrupted. 

What Would You Do

If You knew you had 6 months to live?

I have speculated about that question on occasion.  I'd written a bucket list of sorts.  But I was never really very serious about the bucket list.  Nor was I ever really serious about the probability of death.  Not that I think I am invincible--no.  Far from it.  I've given some thought at times about my demise and the afterlife for myself--and those I would leave behind.  For me I have always felt a peace in knowing that all sorrow would cease, all pain would end and I would live in the depths of love through all eternity.  I've read those stories where folks say they are pulled through a tunnel at warp speed toward a glowing light of joy and love and comfort.  I like all but the warp speed idea.  That makes me think of a carnival ride where I lose my stomach without warning.  Never have liked that feeling.  But right now, I don't actually like the feeling of dying either.  I know what it does to me when I have lost loved ones and I don't wish that on anyone.

This week my brother (who is 2 years older than I), called to say that his lung cancer was back.  He went through some intensive radiation treatments over a year ago and it was gone each time he went back to his doctor for a check-up.  Then he started having a lot of pain in his shoulder.  The doctor thought is may be muscle because he didn't get out much and didn't get enough exercise to speak of.  So she sent him to a physical therapist and for a couple of weeks he did some exercises.  However, instead of the muscle pain getting better, the pain in his shoulder got worse.  So he went back to the doctor and she pressed on his shoulder and it nearly knocked his socks off.  So she sent him for a bone scan.  That's when they found that he not only had cancer the cancer returned to his lungs, but had spread to two ribs and shoulder.  Basically...there's nothing they can do now but wait and keep him as comfortable as possible.

It's sad.  There is no bucket list for Allan.  His hopes is to simply be able to talk with me each day.  So, that's where I'm at with him.  He calls and we talk and we laugh and we goof off over the phone.  He lives in Connecticut.  That's a long way from here.  I wish I could be there to go over and make him a few special things to eat.  He loves food but has no one to do those special treats he loved.  I am going to make a Shepherd's Pie tonight.  He loved that.  It is made with fried hamburger meat, layered with mashed potatoes and cream corn.  You make it up in a casserole bowl and stick it in the oven for 45 minutes and then chow down.  It's a great meal for someone like Allan because there is no chewing needed.  He usually has to take out his teeth to eat.  So you can imagine how nice it would be as comfort food.

The doctor increased his oxycodone and vicadin today.  He was very talkative and we chatted about what he could eat that would help his constipation from the stupid meds.  It's crazy how medical folks just push another pill--stool softners, etc.  Why don't they give him Vitamin C in larger doses?  why don't they give him pro-biotics to help soothe his stomach?  He said he didn't want to sleep during the day and does his best to stay awake till 10:30 each night.  Guess I'll go buy him some videos to watch on his laptop.  And I know he'll get a real kick out of The Bucket List.  So that's all I can do for now.  Would appreciate your prayers.  Life is so very short.

Family Expansion

Okay... we are expanding our family.  No.  I'm not expecting.  That would be cause for a miraculous event.  However, my grandsons are both now engaged.  So exciting. One is a firefighter and he bought his home, moved out of the family abode, and got engaged all on the same day.  His lovely fiance is going to school to be a nurse.  She is such a caring person-- she'll make a good one.  Nursing is second nature to her.  If I miss a family dinner, she comes over to my side of the house to check on me and make sure I'm okay.  Her hubby-to-be is going to school to be a paramedic as he works full-time as a firefighter.  Hard work.  He's the elder of the two brothers.  They've set their date for September.  It will be nice to have a couple of medical "experts" in the family-- especially since I am a health-basketcase.  Am keeping a food log right now to determine if I have a pancreas problem... seems something is wacko with my insulin output.  Time will tell.  Blood tests ahead, doctor appointments.  Gee, it is a real pain getting older.  Well--only when it comes to health.  It's great getting older and watching the expansion of our family.

My other grandson, popped the question to his sweetheart this past weekend.  She is a real country gal.  Bet she'll wear her boots to her wedding.  She is a going to school to be a hairdresser.  LOVE it.  She's already cut my hair at the school and did a great job.  She's a patient, compassionate and caring gal, too.  She aims to please.

Both gals are beautiful.  They have lovely blonde hair and blue eyes.  And they both love children.  When I think of them, I see grand-daughters.  I've seen them that way since my grandsons started dating them.  My old heart fills up with such pride with each of them.  And the very best part of them is that they love my grandsons.  I'm like...who wouldn't?  I know I'm prejudiced, and biased.  But I think my grandsons are fantastic young men.  Don't you feel that way about yours? 

It's going to be so much fun watching them pick and plan and dream about their weddings.  The guys are funny--quite the romantics at times.  We all know that most everything to do with weddings is usually left to the brides (of course).  Yet we know the guys have some vested interest in what goes on, too.  I've noticed the most important thing to my grandsons has been what their significant other wants.  The rest is inconsequential.  They want to bring joy to their fiances.  And as extended family, my part is to support them and do whatever I can to help make their weddings and beginnings as blessed with joy and happiness as I can.  I've always seen my place in their lives that way.  I've undergirded and supported their mom with her instructions and rules.  I've tried never to undermine their parenting processes.  That is not to say, I do not spoil them to high heaven at every opportunity I get.

The boys' elder sister (who lives in Langley AFB Virginia), has been here for over a week now.  She's 28 and got 3 of her own children.  They are three bundles of pure joy-- two rambunctious boys and a prissy precious little girl.  It's been a lot of fun watching them play and get into things around here.  I've really tried to not breach the rule of too much sugar.  But it's been kinda fun to spoil them with ice cream and cake.  Yeah.  That's what this great grandma is for.  Spoiling.  Don't you think?

April Fools, Duck Dynasty, and More

Seventy years ago the Lord blessed my mother-in-law with the birth of her first son, my future husband.  It was April Fools Day, but it was no joke.  It was hub's entrance into the state of Maine, frigid temperatures and snow on the ground.  We had nothing to complain about for our April Fool's Day this week, did we? 85 degrees is a wonderful way to celebrate a birthday.

I was going to buy hubby one of those Kuerig coffee makers, but I didn't.  This morning I wish I had.  Our Mr. Coffee Maker (that we purchased less than a year ago), croaked.  Yep.  Got up to have a cup of java and hubby announced our coffee pot which normally automatically perked our morning brew according to how we timed it, was making all kinds of crazy noises and was rebelling against the thought of preparing us a pot of coffee.  What a way to begin his 70th year on earth, huh?  I had to laugh, though.  It reminded me of the Duck Dynasty episode we watched this week where the Robinson brothers found themselves with a dead coffee pot, too.  They were hilarious-- complaining because they had no way to get their morning fix of caffeine. They ended up going to a local coffee shop where they make all those goumet concoctions that are more like warm milkshakes than coffee.  They couldn't find plain old "coffee" on the menu so they opted for espressos.  Ever had one of those?  My goodness!  It's like drinking ten-day old coffee.  Nasty.  Nasty.  Nasty.  No offense, Starbucks.  Speaking of Starbucks...

have you ever tried to turn off Cache Road onto 40th Street during coffee-rush-hour?  It is ridiculous.  It's dangerous.  It's insane.  And the City of Lawton needs to do something about the insanity.  You get a green light to turn but there is usually a long line of coffee nuts sitting in the middle of the road waiting to turn into the Starbucks' drive-thru line.  Only problem is that the line is so long it blocks traffic.  In order to get around them to drive on, to your destination beyond Starbucks, you have to break the law and drive into on-coming traffic.  If you have a mind to go to Arby's or Home Depot, or the Hotel on 40th, you just need to hold onto your thoughts.  Ain't happening, unless you want to risk getting hit by other cars who are doing the same thing you are doing, passing in a no-passing zone.  I don't care how bad I want coffee, I'm not sitting in that kind of traffic to wait for a cup of caramel-laced, chocolate-flavored goop they disguise with a teaspoon of coffee.

A few weeks ago I arrived early to pick up my husband down 40th (he works as courier for Pam and Berry Realty), and the Starbucks' line was backed out to Cache Road (as per usual).  I thought about grabbing a cup of coffee to guzzle while I waited for my husband.  So I pull into Arby's and order coffee.  Arby's didn't have any coffee.  They don't sell much coffee late in the day; I guess everyone is at Starbucks.  So, I ordered a Sprite and wiggled my way out into Starbuck's 40th Street traffic and cursed the day that people started drinking flavored coffees, lattes, and cappuccinos.  But what about today?

Well, I can relate to the Duck Dynasty dudes in need of their caffeine.  So, I filled a coffee filter with coffee, gathered it together and clipped it with one of those little black office paper clamps and made myself a giant coffee "teabag".  I dropped it into water in a pot.  I boiled the water, then made myself a cup of Petersen's not-so-espresso black coffee.  No fooling.  I did this.  It ain't Starbucks, but it hit the spot...and I didn't have to wait in line.

Yearly Traditions and Uncommon Occurences

It's that time again!  Buying, dying, hiding and finding eggs.  Giant walking bunnies at every mall.  Moms scurry from store to store in search of the perfect Easter outfit, shoes and scarves and matching tights. Will it be warm enough to go sleeveless, or should we get sweaters?  Here in Oklahoma it's always a roll of the dice.  What will the weather bring?  Sunshine or rain?  Blustering winds or gentle breezes?  No one really knows until Sunday arrives.  By all accounts the weatherman suggests a day with highs of 73.  We have chances of rain on Friday and Saturday.  Clouds may claim a portion of Easter Sunday.  Does it matter?

Easter heralds signs of Spring.  Indeed nature's array of tulips, hyacinths and daffodils pop through the warming earth to call for a close to a long winter's hibernation of grey and brown.  Bare tree branches begin to sprout tinges of green. Bradford pears have already exploded with early temperatures of warmth.  Some redbud trees already flaunt bright pink hues while brilliant yellow forsythia commands its own presence be acknowledged.  Country roads are bursting with color. Can we help marveling at the new life we see?

My granddaughters popped in last week to give me a fashion show of their Easter frocks of lime green, royal blue, aqua and yellow.  They looked like Easter baskets in all their glory as they danced and pranced around my livingroom. 

Don't we catch the excitement children express as they look forward to hunting eggs?  With Spring so close, we know Summer is not far behind.  Adults long for brown skin and head to tanning salons.  All these things are but yearly traditions and very common occurences.  As sure as a sun rises and sets each day, we know warmer days without threat of snow and ice are returning.  I can't help but consider how perfect this all is in God's plan of life.

When I walked into the sanctuary of our church on Sunday, my granddaughters were sill warmly dressed in winter sweater dresses.  Palm Sunday was chilly.  When the girls saw me they started waving giant green palm leaves they'd made and received in Sunday School. They told me how Jesus was honored and hailed among the people in Jerusalem and how shouts of Hosannas rang through the streets.  The girls showed me how the throngs of adoring crowds celebrated over 2,000 years ago.

It's hard to believe that the man the crowds celebrated and praised would soon be savagely crucified on a cruel cross.  But He was.  As I think about how Jesus died that day so long ago, I cannot help but feel twinges of regret and sadness.  Sadness that He had to give His life that I could live.  It amazes me when I think  how selfless He was when I am so selfish about so much in life.  Do you His willingness as amazing as I do?  Do you see the uncommon occurence of such an attitude?  The majority of my life I think about my comfort, my needs, my health, my provisions. Yet, Jesus thought of me, and you.  He wants us to spend an eternity with Him.  God wants us all to have an abundant life of peace, and hope, and joy.  His means for making that possible was to send His Son to die in our place and be the ransom for our deserved punishment.  We are born with a nature to indulge ourselves, to seek our own way, to reject God and live as we please-- at total odds with our Creator.

As sin runs rampant throughout our world we witness babies being shot and killed in strollers, murders on Lawton's streets.  We see broken homes, abused children, rapes, deceit, greed and hate.  All these things are in our world because of sin.  And God sent His Son to pay the price for all man's sin so through Him we could be saved from sin's consequence and be given new life.

God showed us this power in the ressurection of Christ so long ago.  This weekend we celebrate, once more, the "uncommon occurence" of one rising from the dead to bring life to all who believe.  What an amazing time of year!  What a blessing to know it is ours!  Have a blessed Easter everyone!  Happy Ressurection Day!

When You Feel a bit Overloaded

..it's best to take a step back and evaluate your priorities.  In my case, four granddaughters and Spring break for 2 of them became priority number one last week.  That also pushed my energy to the level of a deflated balloon.  I was running on very little sleep between their sleepover giggles till after midnight...and one of them climbing into my bed when she couldn't sleep.  My mind couldn't stop thinking about all the things we were doing, and all the things they wanted to do.  Movies, shopping, crafting.  I confess; I'm not as young as I use to be and my body knows it-- even if my brain forgets to tell it till I totally wipe out.

Of course, there's more to overload than four granddaughters and non-stop entertaining.  There's the fact that my car had a meltdown too.  Seems the little battery (which is only 7 bucks), died in my key.  So it wouldn't turn my Prius on.  I had no idea what was wrong.  I tried putting it in the ignition, but it doesn't tell you which way to stick it in there and, me being the goofball I am, I put it in upside down, then it wouldn't start, and got stuck in the ignition. I called my hubby (my knight in shining armor), and he came to help me.  We looked it up in the manual and it warned us not to force the key if we couldn't get it out, but to call the Toyota dealer.  We did that and they told us to take a screwdriver to it.  They had no advice other than that.  So, we did but it still wouldn't budge.  Finally, we called a tow truck.  I sat there waiting on the Wrecker service and prayed that the key would come out without a lot of cost and trouble. Ever feel stupid? Hubby told me it was no big deal..."things happen".

By the way, if you ever need a tow, I recommend Hodges Wrecker in Lawton.  They are fantastic.  He didn't hook up my car and haul it away.  He tried to see if he could get my car started.  He got inside my car and that ignition literally burped that key right into his fingers.  It was a flat-out miracle.  It still wouldn't start, but the tow guy jumped it with my husband's cables (tow cables were too big).  That got my car started.  Next day I took it to the dealership at 8:30 a.m. cause I had to go to Wichita Falls to pick up my granddaughters from school.  I told the service guy that my car wouldn't start unless the key was in the ignition.  He said it was probably just my battery in my key.  I get all excited (another answer to prayer).  I won't have to wait or anything.  Just get a new battery.  Or so I thought.

Nearly five hours later, I had a 700.00 bill for four new tires, an alignment, and a new auxilliary battery.  When I asked if the key worked without putting it in the ignition, the service guy stammered a bit and said for me to wait while he checked it out.  Yeah... you guessed it.  It didn't work because it needed to be reset.  That would take another hour and a half because the technician who sets the key had gone to lunch.  Hmmmmn.  I was a bit miffed and told the service guy I was irritated because I'd been there so long the salesmen wanted to order me business cards. I'd spent enough money to fly to Florida and back but the reason I brought the car in was still not addressed.  He was nice enough about it.  Said the next time I was over there to bring it in and it would be free of charge.  Ya think?

That wouldn't have kept me from writing my column last week though.  That's another part of the story that has to do with my computer going beserk and my overloaded brain being as drained as my car-key battery. The good news is I didn't have time to listen to one stinking news report about the economy.  Life is a hoot.

So Much For Blizzards

We didn't see much in the way of a blizzard on the east side of Lawton.  We got some of the white fluffy falling from the sky, but almost as soon as it landed on the ground, it disappeared.  I'm okay with that (not that anyone asked for my approval). The good news is that the accumulation above ground didn't hamper the accumulation to the ground.  We had some much needed wetness out here.  We'll take any drop we can get, including dew drops.  It does bring to mind how a lot of hooplah about something, like an impending blizzard, can fall short of expectation and predictions.  Reminds me of the way our President went ballistic on the news about the effects of the Sequestration.  You'd think the world would come to an end.  Didn't happen. HOWEVER...

no one seems to want to take credit for releasing 2000 illegal immigrants onto the streets of America.  Obama said we'd released only 500 and shorted the count by about 1,500.  Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano, says she didn't know about it.  The White House press secretary is back-peddling the mess and blaming it on ICE; trying to distance themselves from the way it all went down. Napolitano wants to know how she is to pay for the 34,000 beds for criminals.  Makes me wonder why she won't send them back to where they came from instead of putting them back onto the streets.  If they don't belong here, and they have committed crimes, then deport them.  Instead, the government is going to prioritize who is most criminal among the criminals and let the least criminal criminals go.

Obama berates Congress for not acting on the budget to avoid the Sequestration that he called for in the first place, and is now complaining about.  He is bemoaning the fact that we don't have enough money for child-care programs, delivery of Saturday mail and air-traffic controllers.  However, he can't even get his democrat-controlled Senate to vote on the two bills for the budget that were passed by Congress to avoid the mess.  Instead, he points blame about what we don't have in the budget for Americans, then turns around and dispenses 250 MILLION dollars for Egypt.  Egypt?

Ya know something?  I don't mind it when the weatherman gets it wrong on blizzards.  I really don't.  But it really bugs me when the President of the United States serially lies to Americans about what went on in Benghazi when an American Ambassador was slaughtered along with 4 other Americans.  His former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, says, "What difference does it make, anyway?"  Well, a big difference.  The inaction and lying was a dereliction of duty which is an impeachbable offense.  Seems like this administration has a very big problem with truth.  They don't know what it is. 

Attorney General Eric Holder says he "had no knowledge" of the Fast and Furious gun-deals with Mexicans that led to the murder of an American border agent.  Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano didn't know about the release of 2,000 illegal criminals.  Does anyone in Washington know anything?

Person after person, democrat and republican are saying they've never witnessed such lying from the White House.  Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee Howard “Buck” McKeon says: “Sequestration was the president’s idea over a year ago.  And when we tried to fix it, he said, ‘No, if you do anything, I’ll veto it,’”.  “Then during the campaign he [Obama] said it won’t happen.  Then the last couple of weeks he’s come out and said it’s armageddon, the world’s going to end.  Then the last couple of days he’s softened and said, no, it’s just kind of pitiful.  He’s played all kinds of roles in this position.”

So which is it?  We have something to worry about, or it is all political posturing?  The sky is falling or it isn't.  Personally, I give more credance to the blizzard predictions than anything the current politicians and President have to say.  Meanwhile, have you noticed the daffodils are blooming?

ARE YOU READY FOR SPRING?

A friend asked me that at church yesterday.  I said, "No, not really."  She seemed a bit surprised at my answer.  And as I considered it later, so was I.  I love Spring.  HOWEVER... in Oklahoma, Spring is not like the Springs I grew up with in Northern Virginia, or enjoyed for 23 years in Western Kentucky.  Spring in those areas were three months of brisk, chilly, mornings with light breezes and warmer afternoons. I enjoyed the blooming dogwood, cherry blossoms, forsythia and azaleas.  I anticipated planting seasons that promised bountiful harvests from June to September.  Spring in Oklahoma is not like that.  At least not this part of Oklahoma.  Our Springs barely last a month.  Before we have time to plant spinach and lettuce, the smothering heat of 100 degrees hits us in the face and robs us of breath and bounty.

The merry month of May usually comes with a vengeance of Summer heat.  I do not like summertime in the Spring.  I prefer the brisk, chilly weather we had yesterday in Lawton.  It kinda reminds me of autumns in Kentucky and Virginia which begin in September.  Okies get to melt and wither and sweat their days away from May to November.  The stifling heat keeps me from even going outside on the porch for a morning cup of coffee.  I hate to grill out because it's so hot.  Why grill?  Just stick hamburgers on the sidewalk and wait ten minutes.  When I think of the coming Spring, I recall last year's astronomical triple digit temps that began in May and soared to seemingly unceasing heights of 119 degrees.  Whew!

Once upon a time, I looked forward to season waterpark tickets for my grandkids.  But Oklahoma summers rob us of anything close to a refreshing swim and waddle through their lazy river.  The park doesn't open till the end of May when college students are plentiful enough to staff the life-guard seats.  Then it closes in early August in the worst heat of the season.  Oklahoma is so hot, that the water is nothing but bathwater anyway.  Nothing refreshing about it.

Last year was a mess at the Waterpark.  You were doggone lucky to find a lounge chair to sit in under the broken cabanas.  Rules were so stringent, you couldn't even bring in a cold bottle of water to drink.  Their drinking water was almost always as hot as their pool water, but you had to buy it if you wanted any hydrating drink at all.  If you craved sugar-sweet Mountain Dew and Dr. Peppers, they might be a bit cooler, but to keep them from getting hot, you had to buy their styrofoam cups of ice which melted before you got back to your seat.  Snow cones were a hit or miss thing.  Never know when they'd have them.  Even when you got one, the ice tasted like clorine.  Yuk.  Do I sound like a grinch that stole Spring and Summer bliss?  I'm sorry.  Just telling you like it is.  OR WAS.  Hubby tells me the Waterpark is under new management and they're gonna have a new slide...and well, I don't know what else.  But any improvement would be an improvement.

Don't really mean to be such a humbug, but right now, I am so excited about today's blizzard that I can hardly wait to see the first snowflake.  Forget Spring tulips.  I reveled in the thunder and pelting rain I heard on the roof last night (it was Sunday).  Rain.  Water.  Precipitaion.  I am grateful for anything wet.  So are our farmers. Praying for their lives to be better this year than last.  Praying for their animals and their crops.  A wheat crop is already in jeopardy because of tens of thousands of Canadian geese vacationing in our wheatfields.  Ultimately, we know our times are in God's hands, and we need to trust His grace to see us through. Every season of the year.  With that in mind, I think I'll go buy some blueberry bushes and see what happens. Spring may be better than I think.

THE TROUBLE WITH NEW STUFF

is the unknown. I saw a few new restaurants spring up in Lawton in the past few months.  I'm interested in trying them--a couple of Mexican, an Italian, and a couple of Asian places.  However, with the way prices are going up, I don't want to try something new.  What if I don't like it?  What if I invest my hubby's hard-earned cash and the food is lousy?  What if their food upsets my digestive system?  What if their coffee stinks?

Are you like that?  Are you so stuck in your ways that you can't branch out and try a different restaurant?  You stay with the same old place which serves the same old thing on the menu you have eaten for ten years?  I-HOP use to serve a couple of dishes my husband loved. When they removed them from the menu, we just stopped going.  Hubby doesn't like change that much.  It reminds me of cooking dinner.  What am I gonna have for supper tonight?  While hubby is one of the easiest people on this earth to please, and could care less if I have hot dogs and beans, or homemade lasagna, I often find myself stressed out over what to fix for dinner each night.  I like variety and hubs eats anything I put on the table.  Yet, often I go to the grocery and choose a menu according to habit rather than adventure and desire.  We tend to eat the same things on a repetitive basis.  With all the health issues to consider: high-fat, nutrition, additives and preservatives, I fall back on the same old things I prepared the weeks before. 

It's kinda like my writing. When a person writes as much as I do, there comes a time when repetition rears its ugly head.  You'd think with all the topics there are in the world that repetition would never become an issue.  But if you think about it,  everyone has a niche.  They have particular interests, tastes, and, well, favorite things to talk about. 

Ever been to a party and avoid a certain individual because you know if you sit down and start talking with them that all they will talk about is sports?  We are known by what we are interested in, what we do, who we hang out with, and what we talk about... obsess over.  In some cases we can bore the living daylights out of folks with our penchant for turning every conversation into a discussion about politics, social justice or grandkids.

I am rather fascinated by folks who talk about all these things.  I like hearing about history, science, and religion.  I love individuals who talk about everything from decorating to family recipes.  I like people who keep on top of the latest gadgets, and folks who can share a home remedy for cold sores.  COMMON MATTERS encompasses a variety of topics and sometimes I drown in a sea of subject matter so diverse that I literally find myself stepping over critical issues to prattle on about mundane minutia.  I start out whimsical and end up entirely too serious. 

While variety is the spice of life, there is also a balance between interesting and boring.  I think about writing this column sometimes and my brain freezes.  Reality has produced so much uncertainty that I want to avoid the obvious.  Some of the stuff going on simply irritates the weasel in my soul.  Sarcasm tends to have its way with me when I feed it red meat.  I have to be careful.  Don't like to offend folks.  Don't like to annoy. So...what do ya do when you find yourself serving up the same old meatloaf each week?  If you're like me, you shake your head and sigh.  You pick up your fork and dig in.  Then you pray that tomorrow, life brings a better cut of meat...and maybe even a slice of caramel pie.

The Hardest Part Of Love

You might think that love is so limitless that nothing about it could be hard.  But what if you are the one doing all the giving, all the sacrificing, all the tolerating and accepting?  I think it ought to be hard for my husband; he says it's not.  He carries most of the load in our lives.  What wife wouldn't love a guy who stops to buy Dramamine to help ease her Vertigo, and also grabs a bouquet of fresh-cut mums to lift her spirits on the Sunday before Valentine's Day?

He amazes me; my husband is easy to love.  I may get annoyed every now and then when I want him to do a particular task and he procrastinates.  Or when I want him to feel as giddy about something as I feel and he just doesn't grasp the big picture of my impulsive ideas.  However, love for him never leaves my mind.  You see, after nearly 50 years, I've come to see that love is not just a whimsical feeling one owns for a season.  It's not stuffed inside a heart-shaped box of candy.  It's more than a fancy Hallmark card imprinted with a stranger's poetic platitudes of mushy love.  Love remembers to love all the time.  It covers a multitude of procrastinations, neglect, and annoyances.

Right about now, a bunch of men are in hot water due to neglect or forgetfulness.  It's not because they neglected to get a bouquet of roses on Valentine's Day, either.  It's because all through the year, every single week, they neglect to show appreciation for their proverbial clean socks.  You'd think they'd wonder how dirty socks they left on the floor ended up neatly stacked in their drawers.  Weeks went by when they failed to notice much more than the dinner on the table as they sat down to eat.  They didn't think to once be grateful for the fluffy towels that magically appear on the shelf when they reach for them after a shower. Complacency.

Many men wonder why Valentine's Day overtures are met with lukewarm appreciation.  It all goes back to the hardest part of love.  Some women tend to let this every-day complacency stuff build up.  They can't let go of the careless way their husbands take them for granted.  All the while, they imagine or assume, they have it worse than their husbands.  Can you imagine if hubby left a post-it note in the drawer telling his wife thanks for the clean socks what would happen?

True love-- abiding love-- takes quite a bit of effort.  Love makes a conscious decision not to be hateful and a conscious decision to be thoughtful and kind.  It is appreciative; it's grateful.  Most folks are able to be thoughtful occasionally, especially when the world expects them to perform to the commercially driven occasions like Valentine's Day.  We tend to express love pretty well when we are reminded to do so.  Or when someone we love returns our love.  

The hardest part of love comes when we let go of the things which we count as thoughtless toward us.  Genuine love doesn't keep a list of things to toss back in the face of another when hurt.  Love lets go and has mercy.  When we love, we think the best of another and do not cling to the worst.  We forget about the socks and tee-shirts left on the floor.  We smile as we pick them up.  We're grateful for the person who wore them and is walking out the door to work each day so the light bill and mortgage are paid. 

When we show that kind of love, we are able to let go of the grievances and pettiness we have.  It's the hardest part of love.  We have to love with the eyes and heart of God-- full of mercy and forgiveness.  It's not as simple as some preachers think it is.  I suppose that is why the Apostle Paul tells us to "practice" love.  It's not always automatic or romantic.  It's not even easy-- but it's worth it.